Sex Ed with Mistress Cynnara- BDSM 101- The Dominant

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Blog Post: Sex Ed with Mistress Cynnara- BDSM 101- The Dominant http://s3nt.com/avmh

Psychology- Residual Feelings

Recently, one of my dear friends emailed me about something that's been bothering him. Now, you have to understand, he's a fellow writer and ofttimes we use our emotional responses to certain things to help us in our writing but he asked about something that made me realize it was something to discuss.

Was thinking, the problem I’m having now emotionally is that I seem to have residual feelings of anger that won’t go away like the big stuff has.  What can you do to remove the residuals? 

Blog Post: Psychology- Residual Feelings http://s3nt.com/atir

Pagan- Why the Ritual in Magick?

I know I spoke a bit on this topic, but today, I want to delve a bit more into detail on the hows, whys and explain why there are some cliches that are found within the pagan community which will always be there. Everyone has a ritual in how they do things- in fact, for many in the US, they participated in a huge ritual on Thursday. That's right- those who did a traditional Thanksgiving, have repeated a ritual that was handed down to them from their ancestors. Which makes you wonder- what is ritual and what place does it have in our lives?

Blog Post: Pagan- Why the Ritual in Magick? http://s3nt.com/assa

Sex Ed with Mistress Cynnara- BDSM 101

Mistress Cynnara- I know you're called a mistress because you engage in sexual BDSM. But honestly, what is BDSM? Is it just another form of kink? How do you know if you're truly into the world of BDSM? --- Tie Me Up and Spank Me in Texas

BDSM is a hot topic right now in many areas- from television, books, and more. Why? Because people are realizing that kink and the deeper ingrained needs aren't just the usual missionary or woman superior sex anymore. What's more important, great strides have been made, including the DSM (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders) have declared that BDSM activities are part of normal life, as long as they, like most things, are not taken in the extreme.

Blog Post: Sex Ed with Mistress Cynnara- BDSM 101 http://s3nt.com/aryr

Personal- Happy Thanksgiving

Happy Thanksgiving to all fellow Americans. To everyone else in the universe, happy Thursday. Today, my country celebrates the harsh and hard times of the Pilgrims. It also celebrates with thanks that the local Indian tribes took pity on the English and helped them out.

Blog Post: Personal- Happy Thanksgiving http://s3nt.com/aq82

Pagan: Why I'm considered an Eclectic Pagan

The past few days, I've been thinking on the non-fiction book dealing with paganism I've been wanting to write. How my beliefs and my growing knowledge has led me to honouring not just part of my ethnic heritages but the idea of all being important to my spiritual and mental health. Most people learn one tradition, thinking that it's the end all be all of their beliefs. Whether it's druidism, Asatru, Christianity, Islam, Buddhism, or any other religion, there are very few that teach that other beliefs are valid. (There are a few religions, and I applaud their ability to be open and to see the value inherent of others.) But my ethnic heritage is in direct opposition to that thought process. I'm a mutt and damn proud of it. Lithuanian, Dutch, French (okay ,this I like that it's Breton French), German, Polish, and Russian. Recently, we found out we may also have some Jewish heritage. It's a heritage that has had people who were conquered, beaten, yet clung to their beliefs and when called for, merged with others they loved and brought their beliefs into a new family. It's a collection of beliefs from paganism onwards to Christianity that's unique and more importantly-- important for me to savor and be proud of.

My male talks about how what his ancestors did have no bearing on how he is or what he believes. I smile and nod alot. He makes his own belief choice, but it's not without the influence of his ancestors. Don't believe me- ask him why it's important to have a Traditional Thanksgiving. *rolls eyes* Tradition and family beliefs count for a lot, even for those who say they don't let the past dictate who and what they believe in.

For me, it's not a matter that I'm wanting to believe what my ancestors did. It's learning what they believed in, discovering what is important for me to incorporate into my daily life, and further, to make sure that belief system is never forgotten. I joke around about the story called the Repository, but among my closest friends and among those who know how I am-- I am the Repository for belief systems. I've made a study of them for years and years. I've collected how many people worshipped, how the religion is being reconstructed in the places where knowledge is lacking and more. For me, our past is just as important as our future. Without one, you will never succeed in the other.

Being eclectic doesn't mean picking and choosing only the cool stuff, it means that sometimes the hard stuff- the stuff I'd rather avoid is also included in my beliefs and what I do. Why? Because it's not just the easy, fun things that make me who I am, but also the hard things. Most of my family left their homes in Germany, Poland, France, Holland to come to America. They left in a time when national pride was part and parcel of being their nationalities. Yet, they left seeking something better in a new nation that would give them the chance of freedom of beliefs. So, for me, it's taking the history, the beliefs of my ancestors and the beliefs of the peoples who were there long before and integrating what not just feels right, but what will benefit me and those whom I serve.

Take a look at your own family history. What is your ethnicity? How far back can you trace your family tree? If your family has been established there for a while, think on this- what was the area before it was forcibly Christianized? What family traditions do you enjoy that are based in those oldest of beliefs? What else among what you do honours those traditions and the path you lead now?

Being eclectic isn't a bad thing. It's a place where you can enjoy your past, your present and your future. It's a place that accepts that our world is smaller now than it's ever been, allowing us not only to accept the good and the bad, but to bring into play our global family, who shares many similar beliefs as well. (continue reading &aquo;)

Blog Post: Pagan: Why I'm considered an Eclectic Pagan http://s3nt.com/apr5

Match Game- Ghost Style

A while back, I had a story in the Spirited anthology entitled Match Game, Ghost Style. Well, Loose Id, in its wonderfulness, decided to make it a classic, releasing it into it's own book with a brand new cover. I admit, the cover is PERFECT for what I envisioned for Shari.

 Isn't it beautiful? I love this story, which is dedicated to my soul twin and one of my best friends ever. What I love most about this story and the cover is that it allowed me to get deeper into the fictional city I created in Florida. So imagine my surprise to find out there is a REAL city that shares the name with my imaginary one. I will say this- at least my city has interesting street names. LOL

I updated the website with the new cover and the link. I'm SOOO happy with this rerelease of sorts.

Let me know what you think!

Buying Info: http://loose-id.net/detail.aspx?ID=851

Blurb:   
Dia de los Muertos, the Day of the Dead is here and for Ben Cameron, this holiday is painful without his best friend, Manuel “Manny” Cervantes. For Shari Livingston, this is a day to remember just how much Manny has done for all of their friends, but she never expects Manny to appear at the Dumb Supper she and the others have put together or to make to demand that she and Ben admit their true feelings for one another.

However, Manny the ghost isn’t about to let them get away with just sleeping together to make him happy. He knows more about them than they want to admit even to themselves.

Can this matchmaking ghost get Ben and Shari together or will he be forced to play the ultimate match game to show the love between them both? (continue reading &aquo;)

Blog Post: Match Game- Ghost Style http://s3nt.com/ao8v

Flash Fiction- Guess what Fairytale?

Ann Vremont posted links to a beautiful fairytale scene she created. Then she challenged people on the Changeling Press Yahoo group to come up with a flash fiction. So...I came up with one. Gods only knows what will happen next. LOL

These are the piccies- http://www.annvremont.com/images/fairylights_3_1024.jpg  and a lighter version- http://www.annvremont.com/images/fairylights_2_1024.jpg

Blog Post: Flash Fiction- Guess what Fairytale? http://s3nt.com/an7v

Personal- Holiday Traditions

Fellow romance author, Raine Delight has a blog topic dealing with holiday traditions. It got me thinking on some of the holiday traditions of my family that I've kept and the ones I've created for my family through the years. It also reminded me of some traditions I want to keep alive for the younger generation in our family tree.

Blog Post: Personal- Holiday Traditions http://s3nt.com/an7s

Flash Fiction-

Sometimes, I have no idea on what to write for Flash Fiction day. Today is one of those days. Why? Because I got out of working today and I came home bored. I want to read books and do NOTHING. LMAO But there are ideas floating in my mind, the question is- what will come out?

Thinking on it, I wanted to revisit a story I've not finished telling, but have hinted at. That of Kymaera. She's one of my favorite female characters and someone whom I'm very fond of. Enjoy.

Blog Post: Flash Fiction- http://s3nt.com/am3i

Sex Ed with Mistress Cynnara- Mother Nature and Urges

Today's topic comes from a friend of mine. One I've got to admit, had me thinking and wondering how to go about this and not gross people out and how to get people past the Eew factor. So what's today's topic?

Dear Mistress Cynnara- I'm a woman who loves sex, but it's weird, either right before or during my period, it's the time when I'm the most horny. Why does this happen and how can I convince my male, I want sex and to have him give it to me? --- Raging Hormones in the Mountains

For all we talk about sex and sexuality, the female libido and the factors that influence it are not well researched or well understood. What makes it difficult is that for a long time, it was all about the male libido, the male sex drive. For those of you who were old enough to remember when it first came out about the female orgasm and the G-spot, remember the fervor? I'm not denigrating the need to understand males or their sex drive, but just a reminder that female sex needs to be understood as well as the other part of the equation. What limited studies have shown is that women do experience a need for more primal type sex before and during their periods.

Now, before people go left, right and rampant about having sex while a woman's having her period- let me state that I always insist on safe sex between partners, especially if they've not discussed sex and health issues. The idea of not having sex during a menstrual period comes about from many sources and ideas- one it's a time of power for a woman, it's not pleasant to be part of if you're a male, and the idea that it's unclean- per religious beliefs. However, there is no scientific data that says it's acceptable or not. In fact, it's decidedly mixed, just as women are a mixed bag themselves. What does that mean?

Some women are horny, some are not. Some women spook at the idea of having sex while bleeding. But one thing to note- the amount of blood is minimal- approximately 80 ml, or a little over 2 ounces. The rest is other fluids and membranes being flushed out of the system because of nonpregnancy. It's an individual decision on whether or not to engage in sexual activity during your menses. Personally, as long as you play safely, I see no reason for it. For me, I find it helps with cramps, the hormonal urges for sex, and most importantly, it allows me a chance to get a bit wild.

So, what does safe play include? First- no open cuts on either individual. If there are any, they must be properly protected. Condoms are absolutely essential as well. If you're determined to have sex on a bed or another area besides the bathroom, make sure you have coverings that absorb fluids. I usually recommend a tarp or rubber sheet covered by a couple of older towels that you don't use much anymore. For me, the only place to have sex during my period is the shower. Why? Because I can get clean right after, along with my lover. Of course, it helps if you have an oversized hot water heater, as you can be in there for a while, depending on whether or not it takes a while for you to orgasm.

So, how does one have intercourse while having one's period if the lover is willing? A variety of ways. Depending on how you both wish to start, I recommend the use of waterproof, easily cleaned toys. Why toys? Because most women, even though they're hornier than all get out at this point, they still need some physical stimulation to prepare them mentally and physically for penetration. Also, since oral sex for her is out at this point, the use of toys can replace the oral stimulation. Using clitoral stimulating toys upon her will get her excited and helps rev up the engines. Stimulating her nipples works with some women, but not all. Depends on how tender they get during their menses. If they like it, don't hold back. Fondle, caress, nibble, and play with those visible points of excitation.

If you're at this point and you, the woman feel the need for intercourse, now is the time to let the man know. Why? Because it's time to touch and play with the male, so he's aroused as well. Once that happens, let the male bring you to an orgasm via the toys at least once. Why? This helps flush out more from your body and further, it'll allow you to counteract those cramps you might experience during that time. Then, once he dons protection, you're not only lubricated, but ready for intercourse.

What if your lover isn't too thrilled with the idea of entering the sanguine zone? Then perhaps consider anal sex during this time. This way, you don't have to forgo the tampon and such, and with that slight fullness in you, you might discover the thrill of feeling full in both areas simultaneously. This way neither of you have to feel as if you're violating any kind of cleanness belief or worry about making a mess. One point to note- make sure you change your gear just prior to play. This way it'll afford you more time to play before leakage may occur.

Shower time is one of my favourite sex during my period times. Why? Because of the clean factor and because there's something very sexy about having sex in the shower anyway. The fact I can indulge it and not have to worry so much about making a mess is one less worry. Plus, for many men, this could be the deciding factor for them to try it. So, consider being plastered against the wall of the shower, having hot, erotic sex while during your period.

Until next week-- dream hot, live life to the fullest, and remember - sex is always fun!

Always,

Mistress Cynnara

 

(continue reading &aquo;)

Blog Post: Sex Ed with Mistress Cynnara- Mother Nature and Urges http://s3nt.com/aku1

Pagan: Element- Spirit

Many people who believe in the four main elements of the Middle Ages- air, earth, water, fire, do not count spirit among them. For them, Spirit comes from man or a higher power, not part of the elemental focus. Yet, when you consider the balance of the elements, you can't deny the way Spirit unites them all. Spirit is truly a neutral element- neither male nor female, but both at the same time. To people who serve the spirit, the element often has female properties they see more often. Sometimes it's harder to discern the positive and negative of spirit, especially in how personal people see Spirit. But it can be done.

Blog Post: Pagan: Element- Spirit http://s3nt.com/akp7

Rant: Same Sex Marriage

Can anyone recite the Preamble to the US Constitution? "We the People of the United States, in Order to form a more perfect Union, establish Justice, insure domestic Tranquility, provide for the common defence, promote the general Welfare, and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of America."


We have fought for our freedoms, amended the Constitution to make sure civil liberties were not trampled upon. Yet, the issue of same-sex marriage is causing a huge fervor- radicals on both sides. But the bottom line is not one of morality or belief. As I quoted before- George Washington has stated the United States is NOT based upon the Christianity belief system, but on basic human rights.

Before everyone jumps on me, let me quote the Fourteenth Amendment, which people in various states and beliefs better remember and think hard on what it means in all instances. "No State shall make or enforce any law which shall abridge the privileges or immunities of citizens of the United States; nor shall any State deprive any person of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law; nor deny to any person within its jurisdiction the equal protection of the laws."

So, people, think on this. Are gays, lesbians US citizens or not? That's the bottom line. If they are US citizens, paying taxes, providing protection, then you can NOT deny them their rights of happiness or that of marriage- which is a CIVIL union, not a religious one. That means,  by abridging the rights of marriage, insurance coverage and more to gays, the States and those who live within them are breaking the 14th Amendment. That's right, under the US Constitution, by voting on abridging the rights of other US citizens is ILLEGAL. That's right, no matter what's said or done, in the end, do you really think the Supreme Court won't refer to this matter in the long run and say, "You can't do that- it breaks all of the 14th Amendment."

Think people. Do you want your rights abused and broken because in one way or another-- you're a minority? Think on it, Think on it hard and remember- one day you WILL be the minority, then what? Do you want your past to come back and haunt you? (continue reading &aquo;)

Blog Post: Rant: Same Sex Marriage http://s3nt.com/agzb

Flash Fiction- Discovery

I was exhausted yesterday after getting up early on my day off and dealing with a lot of crap. But I meant to write up this scene. This scene takes place in the P3 Universe. Will it be in a story-- don't know. LOL But I like the idea of the sex houses and more importantly, being open to your own nature and being sexually responsible and safe. Yet, part of me wonders- what if you felt you were one thing, but told by tests that you're another way? How would you adapt? Would you insist you were right and all the science was wrong? What if the reason you did think you were that way was because you were afraid to embrace your essence? Hmmm

Blog Post: Flash Fiction- Discovery http://s3nt.com/af4w

Sex Ed with Mistress Cynnara- Sex Equipment/Furniture

Last week, we talked about sex toys- the kind you use on yourself or on your lover. This week, we're venturing out slightly, talking about sex equipment- the kind you use to create a scene, restrain a person and more. Yes, today we talk a bit about BDSM sex furniture and how even those who are "vanilla" can enjoy them with their lovers.

Though I've not covered about BDSM, I do teach a workshop helping writers learn more about the basics of BDSM and all its components. One of those happens to be scening- where you act out a role play, use toys, and even furniture to create a mood and mindset within the person you're involved with. So, what are some of the most popular pieces of furniture and how can they be used in less intense play?

Blog Post: Sex Ed with Mistress Cynnara- Sex Equipment/Furniture http://s3nt.com/aeds

Pagan: Element- Fire

It was what Prometheus gave to man, it brought them forward out of the darkness and into warmth- fire. Fire is a dual element in both nature and sexuality. Most view fire as a masculine element more so than female. Many of us think of Fire in a positive manner, one of healing, protection, warmth. Though we see occasionally the wildfires, the backdrafts that kill, this element leans more positively to people than most others.

I also consider electricity part of Fire as it takes electrical power-- or sparks to be able to create the energy we use in our daily lives.

Positive: Burns away to the essence, warmth, protection, righteous anger and decision to follow through, charisma, electricity for home and work

Negative: Zealousness to the exclusion of balance, fires that destroy and kill, too much charisma, uncontrolled lightning strikes

Lessons with Fire:

The first lesson I often have my students do is to buy some candles and a lighter. I have them sit in a spot where there is no draft and light one candle. They sit about a foot or two away from the flame and focus upon the flame itself. See the components of heat to the flame- from the bright orangey-yellow exterior down to the blue-white interior portion. See them as individual aspects of fire and then slowly refocus your attention to see it as a whole. Just as you are part of a whole, you are also an individual piece of fire. Feel yourself become part of Fire, burning brightly separately and together with others who choose to serve the Flame.

Lesson Two: Once you feel reenergized and focused, begin bending the flame to your will. This will take a lot of time, unless you're truly a child of Fire. Watch the flame, its movements, how it shifts its shape while it burns. Then slowly focus your attention to make the middle bend to one direction then another. See it growing taller, then shorter. The idea here is learning how to control the flame and to hyperfocus with a touch of telekinesis with the element itself. It'll take a while for you to learn how to read the flame and learn how to make it dance. But once you can get it to bend to your will, you'll discover how fluid Fire can be. (continue reading &aquo;)

Blog Post: Pagan: Element- Fire http://s3nt.com/adxz

Flash Fiction- The Pirate Queen

This will be a story. Not sure how long, or how it'll turn out. But this story is for my male. Originally an idea he came up with to amuse me, to seduce me. Together we brought a bit of history, a bit of erotic fun and came up with the basics of the story. Only thing is- I know that for me to run with it- I'll update it to a bit more futuristic fun with laz-swords instead of metal ones, but over all- the same erotic romp of fun. So-- this is for my male- inspiration for naughty thoughts and naughty nights. Thank you, lover.

Blog Post: Flash Fiction- The Pirate Queen http://s3nt.com/aa47

Sex Ed with Mistress Cynnara- Toy Time

Today, a new question comes in-- one that I had to smile over and one that brought back memories of my first time ni that regard.

Mistress Cynnara- I love sex, enjoy sex, but my boyfriend has suggested that we bring some toys into our sex life to spice things up a bit. Though I think the idea could be fun, I'm not sure what are the best toys to start with, though I do own my own vibrator. ---  Toyless in Tacoma

When I read this question, I got excited. I mean excited to the point I brought out my favourite sex toy catalogs and decided to go toy shopping myself. Sex toys are fantastic to bring into a relationship where you have trust. More importantly, toys can help you fall over that edge from just great sex to "OMFG" sex. Now, there are toys for her, toys for him and couple toys out there. And though I advocate many places to shop for toys- once you find a place you really like and trust- patronage them regularly. You'll get good deals and more importantly, you'll find that you can depend on the quality. So, let's begin at the beginning.

Every woman needs a vibrator. I didn't use to think so until I actually used my first one I bought for myself. Believe it or not, I had owned one for years and years and used it on my lover, but not on me. (Shame on me for this! Had I only known!) What kind of vibrator depends on what you're wanting it for. Since I'm of the blended orgasm type- aka vaginal and clitoral, I tend towards the rabbit-styled vibrators. As a matter of fact, I'm buying myself a new one called Daffy the Deep Stroker. It's a bit more styled for my sexual needs and though I love the Rotating G-spot Vibrator, I wanted to try something that would also simulate having sexual intercourse.

But what if you're more the vaginal girl and not the combo type? Then we can go with more along the lines of straight vibrators. For those who prefer vaginal orgasms, the feeling of fullness and the vibrations help achieve that goal. I'm fond of the G-spot vibrators, from the simple and affordable Dual Spot Vibrator to the more expensive but just as easy to use Cyberskin Slimline Deluxe. These are some of the great vaginal orgasm toys. They're also great to use on men and for just massage purposes, depending on the style you buy.

What about the clitoral orgasm queens out there? It's not easy getting the right amount of stimulation and pressure to achieve those mind blowing, legs shaking orgasms. So what kind of toys are best? There are some great clitoral vibrators out there. My favourite out there is Adam and Eve's My Clitoral Humming Vibrator. It's fantastic and I've found that it truly delivers a great mind blowing orgasm.

But that's for self play, or play where you are given pleasure by your lover. What about toys for him? I have few favourites, especially if he's into anal play-- with me in charge! (If you're a hetero male and a bit nervous on it, you're going to want to find my article on Anal Play- you might just change your mind on letting your woman touch your anus.) But some of my favourite toys for men are: My first Anal Toy, Swirl Top Butt Plug (good for men and women! I own 2), Falcon Anal beads, stretchable cock rings, cock straps and harnesses, and male masturbator toys. These allow you to not only please your male but watch him pleasure himself under your guidance and direction.

But what about couple based toys? What can a couple have toy-wise to make them both happy? First, every couple needs at least one pair of nipple clamps- though I'll recommend one pair for women, another pair- alligator style for men- because they don't have the nipples that women do. Invest in a pair of nipple clamps as they're a fun, yet very sensual toy that doesn't cost a lot, but can be used in a variety of ways to up the play time sexually.

Other toys I put on my must have list are restraints,  floggers, collars, and cock leashes. Blindfolds, silk scarves, cushioned handcuffs are some other items you can pick up over a period of time. One toy I consider a Must Have in my arsenal of toys is not a toy at all. What is it? It's a set of Sexy Dice. Why? Because with these dice, you can not only command your lover to touch a certain aspect in a random way by the dice. For people who are new at role playing or even at suggesting such a thing- these dice break the ice and allow people to be "told" what to do and to get creative doing so. Think of the dice as Truth or Dare, but only the Dares are allowed.

Why do I think these toys come in handy? These toys can be used in combination of scene play, role play and dress up to provide real-time sensation to up the sexual tension for both partners. The idea here is to be able to have toys that will pleasure and provide a more intense experience whether you're the one on the receiving end or the giving portion. Remember, toys are important for a good relationship when both lovers are open about what the toys are for and they're not used as a substitute for intimacy. Also, if you buy toys, make sure you invest in some good toy cleaner. Depending on the substance the toy is made of- you may need special cleaners to keep them in good shape.

Toys are great things to have and use in a relationship or even alone. Remember, toys are enhancements to make what's great even better. If you're not sure how to use a toy, don't panic-- ask. Sales staff and many of the adult toy websites are more than willing to explain how they work and the best techniques to use with them.

Until next week- keep dreaming those hot sexy dreams, love safely, and remember that knowledge is power.

Always,

Mistress Cynnara (continue reading &aquo;)

Blog Post: Sex Ed with Mistress Cynnara- Toy Time http://s3nt.com/aam4

Pagan: Elements- Water

So far in our discussion of the Elements, we've talked about Earth and Air. Today's topic is that of Water. Water is fluid, changeable. When working with this element, we discover the fine art of flexibility. When it comes to the duality of the Elements, we discover that Water has more of a feminine quality. This is why sailors often called the ocean and the seas as their "mistress."

Blog Post: Pagan: Elements- Water http://s3nt.com/86g

Political: Changes are Coming- Some good, some bad

First things first-- Congratulations to President-elect Barack Obama. This is a man who has been open and honest in how hard it'll be to make changes in a world where the economy has plummeted. He's talked about compromise and honesty that it's not just as simple as him telling Congress what to do. But, I, like others who want change, aren't going away- we're going to watch our new President and make sure he holds to what he says. If you didn't hear his acceptance speech, you can read it at CNN.com.

As for being a Floridian, I'm beyond angry that people voted for Amendment 2. Sayno2.com has said it best on why it was wrong to pass it. Fellow author, Lena Austin, also has gone on her soapbox and honestly, I'm there with her. What passing this amendment does is also take away the rights of common-law marriages too. But for those Christian people who want to believe that this country was formed and based on Christian ideals-- I would like to quote from our first president, George Washington. He was writing to the government of Tripoli, Liberia when it came up to the beliefs of the United States as a country. And if this is what our founding fathers say, then you need to adjust with a reality- same sex love has been and will always be a part of human society. But here's what our first President says--

"As the Government of the United States of America is not, in any sense, founded on the Christian religion; as it has in itself no character of enmity against the laws, religion, or tranquillity, of Musselmen; and as the said States never have entered into any war or act of hostility against any Mehomitan nation, it is declared by the parties that no pretext arising from religious opinions shall ever produce an interruption of the harmony existing between the two countries."

And for those who have issues with gays in military or that gays were never prominent...I give you-- the Sacred Band of Thebes. There have always been gays, there always will be. Now, here in Florida, it's not just banning gays from marriage we're looking at-- it's not allowing those who don't want to be married by government to be punished as well. If you're single in Florida-- be scared. Be very scared on what happens now if you ever go to the hospital and on death's door -- and are on the outs with your family. It's not pretty. *sigh* (continue reading &aquo;)

Blog Post: Political: Changes are Coming- Some good, some bad http://s3nt.com/849

Sex Ed with Mistress Cynnara- Extra- What's Sexy?

I was talking with a friend the other day, when the idea of "What is sexy?" came up in our conversation. Considering I write erotic romance and she's an editor of said romances, it was an interesting discussion. But more than that, it made me think on how much is physical oriented and how much is oriented otherwise- towards attributes we think are sexy.

Physical attributes are the first and foremost aspect people consider when they talk about sexy. You ask any person "What is the first thing you find sexy about a male or female?" the list is invariably physical first. There are some who have it by rote to say "humour" or some such-- but it's just that-- rote learning. Physicality is the first thing we as creatures notice-- what excites us, what piques our interest, what draws us closer. After that, come what sociologists and anthropologists called the deeper qualities-- intellect, humour, etc. In fact, there have been studies that uphold this thought process.

That said, I have to admit, sometimes I hate the physicality aspect and other times, it's okay. Today, I was walking home from the bus stop, when a car went by with a nice looking male (whom I didn't know) and he whistled at me. I laughed out loud and waved. It made me feel good inside that regardless that I have a lot of weight to lose, I could trigger a response. (We won't mention that said guy stopped the car and asked me out. That would be bragging. LOL)

Studies have even shown that beautiful women marry men who are often considered "less" attractive then them- not because of jealousy, but because they want a supportive spouse. Even more interesting is that males have a tendency to overlook their own looks and go towards those women who are considered beautiful or above their own beauty level. Yet, time and again, people will say they look for compatibility, intellect, honesty, humour when talking about what makes a person sexy. Studies have said that those aspects are often paired with the physical when we see people interact with others.

Now, I'll be the first to admit, I'm prone to the physical attractive thing-- Christian Bale, David Bowie, Jonas Armstrong, John Barrowman and the like. Though the physical attracts me, it's often in combination with a personality trait- intensity of emotions, similar abilities, intellect and more. What's funny-- I can lust for these males, but the idea of having a relationship with them doesn't necessary equate in my thinking. They're eye candy- great for the dreaming and the writing of stories, but of that above list-- only 2 truly would appeal to me beyond the quick roll in the hay. Why? Because those two appeal to me in similar areas that I'm interested in and personality-wise, I'm attracted to them. And if they were all to step towards me at the same time-- the first one I'd go to is simple- John Barrowman aka Captain Jack Harkness from Torchwood. Why? Because he and I have many similar interests, he's gorgeous, and I'd be begging him to sing to me!

One of the things that often hurts in relationships is when sexy isn't perceived the same way in a relationship. For instance, I have a friend who's dating a guy who some would consider above average in looks and is very smart. Anyone who saw my friend would say that she was perhaps average looking and would judge her on her weight issues. Funny thing is, they're great together and though I know he doesn't see her weight in some ways-- he does judge it against her. I've never once heard him call her sexy or say he was attracted to her. But, I hear it out of her mouth often. I know it hurts her that he doesn't see her in that light. And honestly, it hurts me as well. Why? Because we often talk about how those personality and compatibility areas are the first aspects we look for in sexy- but reality is- physicality wins out time and again. We often talk about being accepted for who and what we are in all areas, but very rarely do you meet someone who truly believes and acts accordingly.

Sexy is a very subjective topic, though there are some characteristics in the physicality that seem to be the most common. Some of these characteristics are: waist-to-hip ratio, baby-faced aspects, large eyes, fairly symmetrical faces, and somewhat average style faces.

So, tell me-- what is sexy to you? How do you define it and do you feel you fit the definition that you've given it?

Always,

Mistress Cynnara (continue reading &aquo;)

Blog Post: Sex Ed with Mistress Cynnara- Extra- What's Sexy? http://s3nt.com/6u0

Sex Ed with Mistress Cynnara- Polyamory

This week's topic is one close to my heart and though not strictly sexual, it does deal with sex and emotions.

Mistress Cynnara- Recently, my significant other told me that he was polyamorous and that he wanted me and him to consider adding others to our relationship to make it stronger. I'm not quite sure what it means to be polyamorous. Does this mean that he wants another woman without any strings attached?-- Poly Unsure

Polyamory is defined as the act of loving more than one person. Other definitions cite that it's a relationship between more than two people. Many people think very negatively about polyamory because of the close connotations to polygamy. In the news, we hear so much about the negative aspects, very rarely do you ever hear of it going well. That said, let me recommend a fantastic book that talks indepth about polyamory- Pagan Polyamory: Becoming a Tribe of Hearts by Raven Kaldera. If you're serious about learning about polyamory if you feel that you're hard-wired in such a way-- please, please get this book and really learn more about the lifestyle and all it entails.

This said, I'm hard-wired for both polyamory and monogamy. I'm one of those people who can be happy either way. I think it's somehow linked to my sexual preferences as well. I know many people who are poly-minded and we've talked about what it means to live in a poly relationship that is healthy and unhealthy. I'm going to share some of those items with you here.

Most poly relationships start with one main couple- Male/Female, Male/Male, Female/Female. This is what is called the primary couple. They're happy together and have a loving, caring relationship. That said, perhaps there are aspects where they can't relate to one another or provide the necessary understanding and giving they need in one area or another. So the topic of polyamory is brought up. What happens in this moment is an honest, non-judgmental discussion of needs, desires, and wants. This entails a list of rules to be followed by both people in regards to bringing of another person into the relationship.

Rules are established for a reason- to make both people secure in what's happening and to prevent their relationship from dissolving because of misunderstandings and other problems that do happen when emotions come into play. Some of these rules include that the person they're considering including must meet the other person in the relationship and they must get along and have things in common so it's not just a sexual relationship only. There are also limits on what kind of sex is allowed, if the relationship is sexually charged, what kind of intimate things are/are not acceptable.

These things are important because there's always a period of time in a new relationship that Raven refers to the Shiny New Lover Syndrome and I call "Falling in Love with Love" sensation. It's when you're overcome with everything to do with the new person in your life and you ignore the person you've been with for a long time. This is the most common problem that happens in people who are new to poly or aren't honest to themselves and their partners. They're seeking to fall in love for love's sake, not for any other reason. This is what most of us who have been part of poly relationships caution new ones about- don't forget the lover who was their first- they're truly there for you in the long run. Just as you need reassurance when they bring in a new lover/partner, you need to reassure them of your love and devotion as well.

Secondary relationships- the second partners. Suppose in the relationship each primary partner brings in a partner. These are the secondaries and they're important emotionally bonded to both of the primaries. Though they might not have the full rights as the primaries, they do have rights within a poly relationship. They have the right to talk about problems and introduce solutions as well.

How does this open relationship work in real time? Most poly families have weekly/monthly meetings to talk about how things are going and set up times to spend together-- with both sets- primary and secondary together. In the one poly relationship I was in, We had weekly meetings to talk about problems, schedules, and times for each of us to talk and just have fun. It helped to keep friction to a minimum. Like Kaldera, we used a Talking Stick to help keep things in line without being heated and we encouraged people to write letters to read out loud when there were problems or issues that needed to be calmly discussed.

Problems do and will happen- people feeling left out, or perhaps misunderstandings because of scheduling errors or just feeling that things aren't working out. But the key here is that open, honest communication helps to weed these problems to a minimum. In fact, when it was time for me to leave the poly relationship- I had reached a point in my life, I needed something more-- something I wasn't getting from the person I was involved in or his family, I sat down with them and with my letter explained how I loved them all but that my needs had shifted and though I wanted to be friends with them all, I had to remove myself as the second partner. That even with them, there was something missing that neither were filling for me. Later on in life, I realized it was something that I could only provide, but at that point, I was being honest and not blaming them for what I didn't completely understand. Luckily for me, both of them were fantastic and we still keep in touch even after so many years.

How do you know if you're poly wired? There are questions to ask of yourself. Do you find it hard to keep faithful because you feel there is something more that you need to be fulfilled? Are you wanting something deeper that, even after talking to your partner, it's not coming in through them or through you? If you're only concerned with the sexual aspect, then you're not truly poly-wired, but non-monogamous. Not all poly relationships are based in sex, but also on mutual likes, emotional support and more. I have soul siblings across the globe, but for many people who know me, they hear me refer to my sismines and my brothermines. They are my family, closer to me in some ways than my blood family, but we're a poly family- we're not sexually intertwined, but life wouldn't be the same without each other in our lives.

Polyamory is the concept of many loves- you love your parents differently than your lover, you love your children different than you do your closest friends. The idea here is that you love the people- period. They are part of your family, no boundaries. Yes, in some poly groups, you see people who might have multiple lovers-- but again, it's based with openness- the main "spouses" know where and when and everyone abides by the rules set out by the group.

Not everyone is poly-wired and not everyone is mono-wired. It's a personal declaration and discovery. It can be wonderful if the people are all attracted and open to each other and even if it's not- it's beautiful when it's filled with love and honest communication between all parties.
Until next week- keep dreaming hot, exploring your boundaries and if you have a question- email me at cynnara AT cynnara DOT com.

Always,

Mistress Cynnara (continue reading &aquo;)

Blog Post: Sex Ed with Mistress Cynnara- Polyamory http://s3nt.com/4ry

Pagan: Element- Air

Though we can't see this Element, we do see its effect on people, places, and objects. Air-- we can't live without it, and in some ways, it's the closest to Spirit we come. All Elements are dualistic in nature- positive/negative, male/female, but in Air, we find a more distinctly male orientation in this Element.

For many, this Element is one of the mind-- psychic abilities, intelligence, emotion and that of creativity. Air is one we see the results, not necessarily the process it delves into. Because of that, often, it's easier to dismiss this Element as being part of the Spirit-- which it is kin, but not exact.

Just as we did last time, one of the things we need to talk about is the positive and negative effects of this Element. From being able to breathe, to it clearing smog from our path-- Air is a positive thing. It's life encouraging and it encourages creativity in what we can't see with our own eyes. But there's the negative aspect-- writer's block, choking, sandstorms that take away your breath and your skin. Air has some of the most damaging negative aspects because they aren't just physical but also attack the mental and emotional.

So, how do we approach Air in all his glory? For one of my friends, who is aligned to Air as her main Element of power, she has a parent/child relationship. She realizes not just the danger of Air, but also the joy to be had within it. One of the thing she does is regularly spend time with Air in a neutral environment, thus allowing Air to manifest himself in the way he sees fit. Call upon him in a room that has no air current to distract your attention. When he arrives, you'll see a difference in that you might feel a breeze or even perhaps form connections to ideas and thoughts in a way you've never have before.

Lesson to experience Air:

Go outside on a fairly calm day, but where there are fallen leaves, sand on the beach, or even a freshly mowed lawn. The idea is having something outside that you can practice using air to the move the objects in question. Calling upon Air for help, begin focusing your mind on moving the leaves in a forward direction. Visualize the movement, how the wind blows the leaves with a small breeze. Watch for the wind to come help you. Call upon it by name if you know the names of the winds in your area. This lesson will take time and perserverance on your part to achieve it.

Another lesson is to do what's known as automatic writing. Set your circle as you normally do, asking for protection and guidance. Then call upon Air to help you becoming more aware of the creativity of the mind. Using pen and paper, let your mind become blank, then write whatever comes into your mind, allowing Air to guide and direct the thoughts and the writing. By doing this, you'll come into greater connection with Air's creative aspects. (continue reading &aquo;)

Blog Post: Pagan: Element- Air http://s3nt.com/4qs

History-- Ancient Temple for Sale

http://www.novinite.com/view_news.php?id=97978

If I had the money-- I'd so get it. Cybele is historically very important. More importantly, I'd want to reconstruct the temple and perhaps even bring back a chance to worship Cybele in it. Can you imagine the history you can learn from it?

 

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Blog Post: History-- Ancient Temple for Sale http://s3nt.com/2g0

Flash Fiction- Rousing Shakespeare

I'm a fan of Shakespeare. I have been since I was a young kid and saw Romeo and Juliet. There's something about Iambic Pentameter mixed with all the plot points that make you see yourself in a story. Shakespeare was a genius and one of my favourite scenes is that of the three witches in MacBeth, though I admit-- I have a different idea on how it could've gone. That said-- today's flash is something that hit my mind. It's a shit-and-giggles scene, so nobody get any ideas!!!

Blog Post: Flash Fiction- Rousing Shakespeare http://s3nt.com/10a

Pagan: The Basic of Magick

I was working magick and I realized that some people don't understand the science of magick. Today, we're going to talk a bit about how magick works. Some of the best definitions of I've heard all reduce how magick works to a simple phrase.

Blog Post: Pagan: The Basic of Magick http://s3nt.com/1vy

Sex Ed with Mistress Cynnara- Fetish Life

This week, we're taking a walk on the wild side of sex. For many people, the word Fetish means something taboo, something to be looked down at, but in reality, we all have our own fetishes--even if we think we're Mary Jane Normal. But let's look at the question that decided this topic for this week.

Mistress Cynnara- I have this thing for women in high heeled leather boots. The look of their legs, the way they stride about in them turns me on. My gf says this means I'm a fetishist, but I tell her I'm not into weird kinky sex. What does it really mean to have a fetish?-- Signed, loving women in boots

Blog Post: Sex Ed with Mistress Cynnara- Fetish Life http://s3nt.com/zzy

Flash Fiction: For Nik

This story is for Nik. Don't ask me how she got it, I think it was because she was online while I started writing the story-- and because she prompted the opening line of the story. LOLOL I have to admit- this story grabbed me, captivated me, and I'm almost done with it-- it's a shorter novella at about 10k. This takes place in the near future or so-- about 100 years after the end of the Mayan calendar. Times have changed and so has the world. Within this world, you'll discover many of the problems of the past are gone, though there are some that still remain, though in less form. But there's a new freedom in sexuality, one that's led to the creation of sex houses and a multi-trillion dollar a year industry that promotes sex as part of good health. Enjoy!

Blog Post: Flash Fiction: For Nik http://s3nt.com/xzk

Sex Ed with Mistress Cynnara- Rough Sex

I'm sorry I've not been around lately, my health has not been great, so I've been spending many a day and night sleeping and trying to get healthy. But while doing that, I've managed to find that there are a lot of sex questions out there. Some that surprise even me, which means they're on my list to do.

Mistress Cynnara- My SO and I aren't really kinky, but we both enjoy what's commonly called "rough sex". Some of our friends think that we're freaks because we like a bit of rough play in our sex. Are we really freakish? ---- Roughing and Loving

Rough sex can be fun. From role play the fantasy of forced rape (which is never forced) to slightly aggressive "throw me against the wall and fuck me senseless" sex, rough sex is fun and exciting. Most people will tell you that they don't have rough sex all the time-- sometimes you want it soft and romantic, but every once in a while, there's something to be said for being grabbed and taken. But for men, the question becomes "How do you know when the woman wants this rougher sex and how can it be done and still show her how much I love her?"

Rough sex to women is different than rough sex for men. Rough sex for women involves a couple of elements-- being taken/captured, knowing deep inside this person wants to protect you, and knowing that you're that irresistible that they have to make you theirs. Though they're part and parcel of the same though process, there are differences. Being captured is an age old fantasy-- from the early days of erotica and other stories-- even fairytales. Women have wanted to be considered the One to a male or even to another woman. They want to be the one and only (unless they're wired for Polyamory--which is another topic for another day!) and the idea of someone risking it all to take them away from the boring, to take them away from that what represses them is exciting, entrancing and wanted.

One of the great points about rough sex is that physically, it's intense though only limited painful. Normally it consists of those moments you see upon the silver screen or even the small screen of television. The man grabs her arm, spinning her body against the wall, sliding against her, groping her breast, talking naughty to her and ripping her clothes off. At this point, most women are panting and eagerly awaiting the sexual fulfillment of that threat-- hot, rough sex where he must touch you, he must thrust himself deep within you to be sated. When it comes to intercourse, when a woman is turned on, she wants to be pounded with deep thrusts that hit not only her G-spot but throughout her vagina walls, urging her to orgasm.

But what is too rough? Too rough is when the physical aspects go from deep thrusts to pain. When you see that it's getting from the pleasure/pain threshold to pain only. When her body pulls away instead of meeting you in the throes of arousal. Too rough is when you don't follow the rules set out in the forced rape fantasy-- thus removing that element of protection and safeness from the woman. Women have fantasies of rough sex, but once you take away that basic need of being safe and protected, it goes from erotic rough sex to pain and mental anguish.

So, are you normal if you enjoy rough sex? Yes, you are. You enjoy that point where pleasure and pain mix, where the safe and the forbidden touch and where intense physicality is enjoyed when monitored and respected by both parties. Rough sex is both mental and physical in nature and both aspects have to be in balance for it to be enjoyed by both parties.

That's all for this week, and next week, we'll be touching on yet another topic dealing with hot sex, sexuality, and perhaps a bit into the psychology of what sex is all about.

Until next time-- dream hot, speak soft, and demand your orgasms!

Altijd,

Mistress Cynnara

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Blog Post: Sex Ed with Mistress Cynnara- Rough Sex http://s3nt.com/w3p

Blog Post: Sex Ed with Mistress Cynnara- Orgasms of the Male Kind http://s3nt.com/suu

Sex Ed with Mistress Cynnara- Orgasms of the Male Kind

Over the past 2 weeks, we've spoken about orgasms for women-- both clitoral and vaginal. I've talked about how they can be done separately or together. We know that arousal is potent for both men and women. Sometimes it's hard to achieve that satisfaction at the same time when men are the microwaves of the sexual world and women are the crock pots. Which is why sometimes while reading romances and having the couple orgasm together makes me giggle. I've written about it, but I've also used my knowledge of what it takes to make it happen. So, today, let's discuss orgasms of the male kind.

Flash Friday- Lammas King

This story is something that my sismine, Shar Tregarth and I are working on. In fact, it's the prequel to the Avalon Returns series. *grins* I figure you all would like a small peek at what's going to come.

Sex Ed with Mistress Cynnara- Orgasms Pt.2- Hello Vaginaland

This week, we're talking about Orgasms-- this time going deep into the heart of Vaginaland. There are a few things to discuss when it comes to vaginal orgasms. Some women never experience them, while others are blessed with the ability to come multiple amount of times with that penetration.

What causes vaginal orgasms? There are a lot of studies, myths, and ideas associated with them. In fact, there was a study that showed that a woman's gait could be associated with vaginal orgasm. Many people talk about the G-spot orgasm and how potent it is. Yet, some women never seem to get that spot touched, no matter how long, how thick or how much pressure is put on those areas that people say it exists. Now scientists even talk about how not all women have G-spots(Grafenburg Spot). In fact, there is even physical evidence that the thicker tissue with those nerve bundles that help achieve those orgasms--do not exist in all women. In fact, it's said that almost 20-25% of all women have vaginal orgasms, the rest either climax through clitoral or do not experience orgasmic release at all.

So let's talk about Vaginaland. Come with me. Last week, we spoke about clitoral orgasms and the outer layout of the female genitalia. This week, we're going to explore about this much penetrated but misunderstood land of femaleness. So, let's take a look at how the inner workings of a woman work, and how to take advantage of certain things to come closer to experiencing vaginal orgasms.



First, let's talk about the vulva, which include the labia lips. We remember that the clitoris does actually have legs which lead down to the outer labia lips, which are part of the vulva and as they're stimulated, they swell, evoking more sexual response. So, it's extremely important in both clitoral and vaginal orgasms to have stimulated this area in the proper manner.

Second, we come upon the entrance of the vagina, you'll notice that it is composed of stretchable muscles. (We who have given birth are grateful for this aspect, otherwise there would be no humans on this earth ever again!) But once you slide a finger in there, make sure that the pad of your fingertip is facing up-- towards the belly button. Now about 2-3 inches inside, along that area of the vaginal wall, you might feel a slightly thicker muscle that might be a bit bumpy. This is where you'll find the G-spot in most women who have one. Some have it higher, but most have it at that point. This tissue actually can cause female ejaculation with clear fluid similar to the prostrate fluid that composes semen in men.

Interesting side note- the tissue surrounding the prostate is similar in nature to the spongy tissue that separates the vaginal wall from the urethra area and responds in kind. So, stimulation will increase bloodflow, which in turn, will allow further pleasure to be experienced for the female. What does this mean for the person who is willing to take the time? It means by increasing pleasure to the outer vulva and along the G-spot area, will more likely to help a woman to experience a vaginal orgasm.

One thing I want to point out, there are many women from the past and even today who will tell you that there is no such thing as a vaginal orgasm. That it's the pressure against the clitoris that causes the vaginal spasms of orgasm. I disagree with that because I've been pleasured without clitoral stimulus, just vaginal penetration and have managed to enjoy multiple orgasms.

Now that we've discussed about the physicality of the vagina, how do we go about experiencing climaxes via vaginal stimulation? Just as we did in the last week's blog, we have to build up the sexual tension and the need within the woman. Not just actions, but also in the verbal stimulus. Women don't just come from physicality, they also require the mental erotic massage so that their body follows the mind.

I recommend starting with the same technique as the clitoral. In fact, by stimulating the clitoris, you'll swell the tissue in both the clitoris, the labia, which in turn stimulates the G Spot. So, play with her, lick her, rub her, and more importantly, take the time to whisper sweet, sensual nothings to her while you touch her body.

As she gets aroused, you'll see her lips puff up, her slit will become wet, and more importantly, her body will begin moving, trying to guide you to what feels good. Let her show you how much pressure, when to ease off, and what movements get her going. Once this begins, the next step is to slide one finger, usually the middle finger, deep within her.

Why are we going into finger fucking first? Because many times, you can prepare a woman for sexual intercourse by allowing her time to adjust to being stroked on those erogenous zones. Slide in the middle finger, pad upwards towards her bladder. Slightly curl it as you pull it back down, rubbing against that upper vaginal wall. This rubbing and pressure will help excite her further. Create a rhythm that she can work with, rocking her hips in time with your finger, then slowly slide in another and after a while, perhaps a third. Use the slightly curved fingers to stroke the upper wall. As you do this, you might want to place your head on her belly, which will provide downward pressure and your mouth can lick and tease the clit area, if she wishes.

This will help her to experience the intensity of having her G-spot stroked, fondled with both slow and fast, intense speeds. She might begin asking for more, deeper, harder or tell you the fingers aren't enough-- that she needs more-- she needs something bigger inside. This is the call of the moment- some men want to insert dick at this point, others prefer using a dildo or vibrator, giving even more sensation to the moment.

The idea here is to build up the need to have something more. The idea that it's empty in her vagina and she needs to be filled to scratch that itchy desire that you're building up within her. You can even vary up various ideas. Start with some finger fucking, then perhaps some oral play, then bring in a toy, then perhaps tease her with some warming liquid (I highly recommend the ones at Adam and Eve, I've yet to find one that I didn't like!), and proceed as she guides you. Remember, the important thing is to see her reactions-- what makes her grip the sheets, what makes her try to move to get to a certain area penetrated and pressed upon? Noticing these subtle clues will help you and will help her experience vaginal orgasm.

I will be honest here-- I recommend doing both clitoral and vaginal techniques with every woman- whether or not they can have vaginal orgasms. Why? Because the sensation is filling and mentally does much to make a woman feel wanted, loved and sexy as hell. When I have helped friends in dealing with a clitoral only woman, I've showed them that by varying up both the vaginal techniques as well as the clitoral has a positive effect, especially as it gives the woman extra stimulus and creates greater sensation to induce orgasms. I come either way- and I'm proud of that. I'm lucky as well. Not every woman can orgasm easily. Again, make sure to talk to your doctor about this-- it could be hormonal, physical and fixable!

Now that we've discussed clitoral and vaginal-- what else is there to deal with orgasms? Next week-- Orgasms of the Male Kind!

Until then, dream hot, work on being the best lover you can be for yourself and others, and reach for your goals- you can do it!

Always,

Mistress Cynnara (continue reading &aquo;)

Friday Flash- Goddess Creation

This came about because of Changeling Bar and Press night. Not sure where it's going, or what will come of it, but part of me is intrigued. *grins* Think of a world, part of a conglomeration-- and where entropy is prevalent and the world they know is dying. Prophecy states of a woman called She Who Walks the Worlds that would save their universe--but there's a catch-- she needs the one mate that can help her harness her power, submit to her-- and force her to submit to the male force of creation as well. Enjoy!

Sex Ed with Mistress Cynnara: Orgasms Part 1- Hello Clit!

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Sex Ed With Mistress Cynnara: Anal Play

Welcome to the second installment of "Ask Mistress Cynnara" where I talk sex, how to do it well, how to learn more, and some of the things you can do with and without a partner. If you wish to ask me a question to answer each week, please feel free to email me at cynnara AT cynnara DOT com (you know the drill). This week's question is about anal play.

Mistress Cynnara, lately anal play has been getting more mentions, but no one talks about how to do it correctly. The last time my SO tried it on me, it hurt too much for me to enjoy. What aren't we doing right? --Anally Scared

Pagan: Elements-- Earth

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Personal: Birthday

I hope everyone had a happy Labour Day. Not only was it a US holiday, it was also my birthday. I managed to sleep in, do a personal magick ritual for myself, and my male brought me to his place for the day. *grins* He cooked for me, cleaned, and then took me out for my walk. I've not told him yet about my left heel being a bother(I know what it is, but the description defies me right now--it's a little piece of calcium that keeps hooking onto the muscle, causing pain when I flex my foot.)

This was also my first birthday without mom. It was tougher than I thought it'd be. Of course, my dad didn't call either, but then again, I hadn't expected him to. Mom and I had a unique way of celebrating my birthday at various times. Whenever I turned an age with a -0 or a -5 at the end, she'd call me when I was born (4:34am) and remind me of what she'd been through. Whenever my birthday landed on Labour Day (Which was the day I was born on), she'd call and harass me as well. It was our thing, since our birthdays were only 8 days apart. So, this year was a bit lonely without that teasing phone call. I do miss my mom badly. The longer it's been, the more I realize how much I miss her in my life.

But mom wouldn't want me to dwell on that aspect. So, I've celebrated and figured that in the scheme of things, my birthday, and the day off afterward(YAY for another day off!) definitely goes into a good day for all, thinking. I know I missed my Pagan post, but I'll be putting that one up shortly.

 

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Friday Flash- Nik's Playtime

Nikita glanced at Rand's naked back. Though she'd won the bet, part of her wish she hadn't even accepted it. But Sekhmet had told her that she would win. This time, Lyonene, high priestess of Sekhmet, would not be forced to beg for release- she would demand it.

"Once you're done taking off your clothes, Rand, I want you to kneel with your head bowed, arms behind your back in a submissive position." Nik opened up her play closet, allowing her gaze to go from each toy, mentally discarding the ones that she thought Rand wouldn't enjoy. Choosing her favourite black, silver, and purple flogger with a mix of suede and rabbit tails, Nik did some figure eight moves in the air before her. This will be good for Rand. I think he'll find this heightens his need in ways he hadn't considered.

Turning back towards Rand, she noticed he had followed her directions, kneeling at the foot of her bed, his head bent and his arms positioned perfectly behind him. She walked towards him, stopping just shy of his face. "Good boy, Rand. Last time we had a sex oriented bet, you won. That night I was your sex slave and you pushed boundaries that you had no right to push. It was to be a fun time for us both- no strings attached."

"I'm--"

She flicked the flogger so the ends hit his back solidly. "I didn't give you permission to speak, Rand. Tonight, I'm the mistress and you're my submissive. You wondered about my sexual desires and my fantasies, but never once asked me that night what I wanted or needed. You chose to push me emotionally and for that, I have avoided you." Nik's hand moved with her words, sending light strokes against his back in a figure eight pattern. "But tonight, you'll learn about my sexual needs and you'll bare your soul to me. Paybacks are a bitch and we know I do bitch well."

She continued watching Rand's reaction to the flogging, making sure she covered his back from his broad, muscular shoulders down to the crack of his ass. When she heard the first sound that sounded like a cross between a moan and pain, she spoke again. "If you can't handle what I'm doing, the safe word is red. If something isn't comfortable but you're not sure if you want to completely stop, say yellow. If you're okay, then the answer is green. Understand?"

"Yes, Nik."

"That's Mistress Nik, Rand." She stopped while she ran one hand down his lightly pink skin. His body shuddered causing her to smile. Seems that I've discovered something that Rand hadn't realized about himself. Good for me.

"Yes, Mistress."

She slid one hand under his chin and tilted his head up so their gazes met. "I won't hurt you, Rand, but I will make you experience pleasure in a way I doubt any woman has ever shown you. I want you to stand by that X shaped piece of furniture, your back against it."

Rand stood up, his gaze never wavering. One hand stroked his cock and Nik slapped his hand. "Bad boy! That's my dick and you don't get to touch it unless I say so. Now do as I said."

"Yes, Mistress." Rand walked towards the St. Andrews cross and Nik wondered if somehow this might backfire on her. Seeing him submit to her will, even under the guise of the bet, turned her on more than she imagined. Damn, I hope he can still fuck my brains out once I'm done teaching him a lesson. Sekhmet, I leave tonight in your care and keeping. (continue reading &aquo;)

Sex Ed with Mistress Cynnara

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