Back and Sven again-- and a Release!

Gods, it's been awful. I've done only about 3k in the past week. Bad bad bad. Why? I've had a bad time at the day job and I've been beyond exhausted at night. On top of that-- I've had some emotional issues and my computer is acting up. I need to replace the keyboard on the laptop ASAP! It's not a good thing!

That said-- I've got a new release out at Loose Id! That's right, my newest book (which is actually an expanded version of an old book) Treaty of Desire is out! YAY!!! I'm so glad it's out that I'm doing the happy happy dance! Treaty of Desire was the first ever erotic paranormal story I've ever written. It was hot enough that I was worried about me being a bit flowery and such. Little did I know that it was the beginning of letting part of my true self out to play. LMAO I'm so proud of the damn book--especially with the additions I put into the storyline. So, I'm going to have a contest starting November 5th. *grins* You'll have to check my website and here to learn more about it.

YAY for my release, yay for my writing getting back on target now my migraine is gone and YAY for Sinjin. Why? Because he so does deserve it. He let me drive him a bit nuts erotically recently. *grins* He didn't panic-- what a good man.

Frustration-- Or Why Cyn Gets Cranky

Yup, I'm cranky. I've got to work today, Bobby Flay is two towns over for one day only and I've got my period something fierce. Feeling crappy, I don't want to work, I want to sleep. Have I written? Only 1k all weekend but then again, I've slept like crap since Friday and I'm ready to commit acts of violence on family members. Worse, if I say anything-- I'll get the whole "You don't understand. You're only seeing what you want to see" shite. Problem is...others have said stuff it's not just me.

I so need to win Lotto. LOL I need a change of pace and time. So, today, I can count a total of 1.2k but here's hoping the rest of today goes better. If not, I'll be writing most of Monday, my only day off this week while getting everything else done. Gods, my day job needs to stop this crap right now and get normal. But then again-- it seems like management is going out of its way to get the office closed...so why should I be surprised on things? *sigh*

Write Time Assignment-- Me and Sven made good

Well, I got the time to write the assignment for my Write Time workshop. The funny thing is-- it's a scene that is upcoming in my story, Making of a Man. It's not for a while yet, and while I am a major linear writer-- occasionally I do enjoy doing a scene out of sequence. In this case, in 20 minutes I managed to write over 1k. Even better-- it's so going to set up the original scene I had seen in my head for the story. *grins* My happiness abounds something fierce. So Sven is happy, Cyn is happy, and the crew who want MORE of MOAM will be happy. Why? Because for the first time since the original scene-- I typed it on my computer. That's right-- I didn't handwrite the damn thing. YAY!!! I still need to transcribe and edit the 29 pages of handwritten stuff for MOAM, but right now, I'm celebrating this accomplishment. Plus this 20 minutes FLEW by. Candace Haven is doing something right for me-- but I'm not quite sure what just yet!

So today's total--- 1,222 words

Hoping to Sven

Today is a bad day. I'm hoping to Sven when my family goes to bed, but the cramps are hurting something bad. I soaked last night in the tub and it eased the pain, but today....today ain't a great day. *sigh* But I'll keep trying to get something, anything written today. Perhaps I'll open edits to be done instead. We'll see.

Hmm, perhaps a snippet of things would help some stuff. I've got some stories I don't have finished that I'm debating on finishing or not. Plus, I have a Day 2 exercise to accomplish for the Write Time workshop- I must write nonstop for 20 minutes on anything fiction. So, I'm hoping that once my meds kick in, it might help me write a bit. Gods, I don't know what's wrong with me--but I'm betting the early menopause is kicking in. Stupid menopause.

Beat up on Sinjin today. I have to admit to some happiness in that regard. He picked on me, I got even. Hmmrrrppphhh!

Sveating with Svegali

Just checking in so far with my writing. I've done 2k. It's been tough because I've been really tired. So, I've only been writing at work on my breaks. But luckily I got my 1k each day so far. Granted it's handwritten, but at least it's writing. I need to take time to type, but I think I'm going early to bed tonight. I'm exhausted so bad I have a headache.

I'm also taking a 2 week workshop given at Earthly Charms-- Write Time by Candace Haven. She's talking about how to make the most of your time to write. I'm hoping between her and the Sven, I'll find myself finding techniques that'll get me feeling up to par and regularly writing each day. If you've never read Candace before, let me tell you-- you need to. Definitely. Her Charmed & Dangerous is absolutely spot on and funny as all get out. She's an inspiring author, so I'm thrilled to have her do this workshop.

Now to go pester a couple of people on the Sven list. Gots to make sure I share the lurve. hehehehe

Sneak Peek- Making of a Man

This is a new story I've been working on. It's definitely not my usual fare, but on the other hand-- yeah it is. Here's the blurb-- Sinjin Roberts is a man's man, with a secret-- he's a high level submissive. For a man like him, it takes a special kind of woman to bring him to his knees to make him beg for release. What he doesn't expect is that his co-worker, Lynn Matthews is more than willing to take him on. What he discovers about her and himself will change how he thinks on the issues of love, romance, and friendship. For Sinjin is about to discover how much fun it is to be owned not just by Lynn, but also by her two sisters. This isn't just a romance, it's the Making of a Man.

Unedited, uncontracted excerpt:

Chapter One


Sinjin Roberts walked into the break room then grinned when he caught sight of Lynn Matthews. The woman was a pistol, definitely not afraid of being different, which made her well liked in the personnel department of Haverco—where they both worked. She was sitting in her usual spot in one corner of the room, her smooth legs crossed at the ankles while a huge grin lit up her face. She intrigued him by certain things she said and hinted at, but he hadn’t really pushed to find out more. But it had crossed his mind on more than one occasion while he worked on some marketing ideas for Haverco.

Her voice rang out with laughter. “Come on, Phil, you’ve got to admit that sex sells. Just because it was taken to that level doesn’t mean that it’s wrong.”

Sinjin laughed as he approached her table. “Yup, sex sells but what does that have to do with anything in this room today?”

Lynn looked up at him and grinned. “Good to see you, Sinjin. You missed the news though. Seems some guy got arrested for owning and running a sex club in the heart of Alabama. Phil here things that sex clubs are fiction and that kinky sex is in the mind of the person, not a real tangible thing.” She snorted slightly with the last comment, causing him to laugh again with her.

Phil interrupted their shared laughter. “Lynn, you’re a sweet woman, but you don’t know the first thing about hot, sexy, kinky sex. And those sex clubs are just another way of allowing the buying of sexual pleasures, nothing more.”

As Lynn leaned towards both men, Sinjin found himself leaning inwards to create a more intimate speaking environment around the table. Her voice was lower, but tinged with merriment. “Phil, you’d be dead wrong about what sex clubs are for, just as you’re wrong on me being unaware of kinky sex. I’m very kinky though I don’t flaunt it here at work. In fact, if I wanted to, I probably could get you to beg me to tie you up and fuck your ass until you came without my ever touching your genitals. I’m that damn good, but…you’re so not my type.”

He watched Phil’s jaw drop open as he laughed loudly to cover for his friend’s reaction. Unfuckingbelievable! Lynn had thrown her counterpart in personnel for a loop and he was the recipient of some seriously erotic thoughts at just how much she might be willing to dominate. Yet again Lynn amazed him with how open and unrestrained she truly was. Could she be someone I could trust with my secret? How can I be sure?

Lynn stood up suddenly, breaking off Sinjin’s thoughts. “I’ve got to head back to the office to handle the new applications that arrived. Sinjin, do me a favour and explain to our shocked friend on why kinky sex is a good thing for women as well as for men. It seems he needs a man to explain the basics to him.”

“I’ll do it if you promise me that one night we’ll go out and talk about this other side that none of us have ever seen before.” The words had slipped out before he could stop them. It was as if she had released his inner inhibitions with her own acknowledgement of her sexuality. “You can decide the where and when if it would make you feel better.” He caught the look of surprise then delight as her emotions played across her face.

“Sure, I’ll take you up on that offer right now. If you’re sure that you really want to get to know me, I’ll email you the time, place and address on where to meet me this Saturday night.” Lynn squeezed his shoulder as she gave him a sweet smile. “But be warned, if you’re not open to new things sexually or emotionally, you might find that my life outside of work a bit scary for you to handle.”
He squeezed her hand before letting it go. “I’m actually finding myself a bit eager to hear more. Who knows, you might be the one shocked on what I’m like outside of the office.”
She lifted a blonde brow. “I so can’t wait for Saturday. I’ll talk to you later, Sinjin.” She glanced back at their friend. “Phil, take your time to recover before you come back. I think this might take a bit of explaining.”

As Lynn left the break room, Sinjin found himself grinning at the idea of talking to Lynn outside of work. She might be just the thing to break this vanilla streak he was in. Turning back to his friend, he let out a small chuckle. “Phil, you obviously were never taught how to recognize a woman who isn’t just into vanilla sex before. Let’s start with the first giveaway…”

*****

Saturday

Sinjin checked the address from the email twice before driving up to the gated driveway. A voice from the intercom asked for his name. “I’m Sinjin Roberts. I’ve been invited to see Pleasures. It’s my first time here.”

“Welcome, sir. I hope you have a wonderful and mind opening time,” the tinny voice responded. “Pull in and take the first left to park in guest parking, sir.”

Obeying the voice, Sinjin pulled into the driveway as the gates slid open. Taking the first left, he could see the members’ lot was partially full. Noticing the make of the cars, he realized this out of the way renovated multi-story home had some patrons of all levels of society. Parking his vintage Camaro, Sinjin locked it up, and then made his way down the cobblestone path towards the front door. The house reminded him of those old Victorian styles, though he knew the building couldn’t be more than ten years old. The stained glass front door made him wonder just how much had gone into renovating the place into a top of the line fetish club.

Gathering up some courage, Sinjin placed his hand on the doorknob and found it unlocked. Opening it, he stepped through then shut the door behind him. As he turned around, he saw a curly haired brunette young woman approach him. Her pale ivory lace outfit outlined her every curve and the lace was thin enough that he could that she didn’t shave her mons.

“How may I help you, sir? This is a private, members only club.” Her voice was Southern tinted, but firm in tone.

“My name is Sinjin Roberts and Lynn Matthews invited me to join her here this evening.” He glanced around, spotting a pair of French doors down the hallway that seemed to lead to the main part of the house. “Do you know where she is?”

“Oh! Welcome to Pleasures, Sinjin. Lynn told me that you were to be expected. She’s in the main hall waiting for you. Please go through those doors and enjoy your time here in Pleasures. If you ever need anything, please don’t hesitate to ask me, Carryn or any of the other staff members.” She led him to the doors at the end of the hall and opened up one door.

“Thank you, Carryn. I have to admit, I had wondered about Pleasures for a while now. I hadn’t known that Lynn knew about this place.”

Carryn laughed. “She knows more than many, Sinjin. Enjoy your evening.” Then she wandered to the front door as it opened again. “Welcome to Pleasures. How may I help you?”

Sinjin left the young woman to her job and stepped through the door. As he did so, the door swung to close behind him. He stood still for a moment as the opulence of the main room, though drawing room would’ve been a more appropriate name for it. The vaulted ceiling drew his attention upward and he noticed the small walkway that lined the second story. Even the recessed lighting was hard to spot, but gave warmth to the room that was decorated in dark blues, gold and other jewel tones.

Gazing around, he took in the bar at the far right hand corner where people were gathered for drinks as well as the various couches, chairs, loveseats and giant throw pillows scattered in small groupings throughout the large room. He noticed some of women there were dressed in either period costumes, leather outfits, or other suggestive erotic outfits that played with his imagination. He felt his cock twitch at the women who reveled in their sexuality and wondered if perhaps he could afford a membership here if they catered to his own sexual needs.

Turning his head to the left, his breath caught in his chest as he caught sight of Lynn. She was wearing a sapphire blue toga style dress with her long wavy blonde hair hanging past her shoulders in a subtle, yet sexy style. He wondered if it felt as silky as it looked from this distance. Then he realized that on either side of her, were two women. One was blonde, though more golden than ash. She was shorter than Lynn, and wearing a tight black suede catsuit that left little to the imagination. Her high heeled boots caught his attention and he felt the need to readjust himself, but held back.

The other woman was a redhead and wearing a similar catsuit, though dark forest green in colour. The woman held something thin in her hand though he couldn’t quite make it out at first. Then the redhead brushed back Lynn’s hair and he realized that she wore a silver collar at her throat that had a line that the woman held. The woman handed the end of it to Lynn and said aloud, “Have a good time tonight, Lynn. Remember that we’re going to want a full report later on.”

The blonde spoke up too. “If you need us, you know how to reach us while we’re here.”
Lynn smiled before stepping before Sinjin. She kissed his cheek. “I’m glad you showed up. I wasn’t sure if you’d come to Pleasures or not. “

“The only way I wasn’t going to show up would be if I had gotten into a car accident on the way over.” He kissed her back on the cheek then stepped back to really look at her outfit. “You look—“

“Owned? Possessed? Or perhaps something exotic and mysterious?” Lynn teased as she took his hand. “Come with me, I’ll find us a place so we can talk privately.” She tugged his hand. “Follow me, now.”

He moved forward as the softly spoken command registered in his brain as such. Realizing that he reacted without thinking about it, he stopped in his tracks. Her light laughter surrounded him. “Oh, Sinjin, did you just realize what secret you gave away?”

“What made you suspect?” he asked as he followed her down one side hallway away from the main room.

Sweating with Sven

That's right-- for those of you familiar with the challenge given by Allison Kent-- I'm officially in. I'm gonna sweat for Sven. I'm off for the next three days, and starting my six days a week working for the day job, but goddess bless, I WILL do this. 93 days of torture and hellacious writing. My goal is simple-- I've got a couple of stories that need to be finished and edited. I've got a story I desperately want to finish because it's pouring out of me-- though only handwritten. That said-- I'm not able to do Nano this year, but Sven....Sven can almost get me moving to the groove.

Who knows, this might just get me back on track. Wouldn't that be nice.

Don't Tell Me What You Think I Want to Hear

*sighs* This topic is being said because it needs to be. I like being needed but not because you think it's what I want to hear. What I want is truth. It hurts, it heals, but it doesn't hurt like finding out the words told are a lie. Maybe not a lie, but not the truth. What I want to hear isn't always what is needed.

We all want to hear good things, we all want people we care for to say things we like, but I'm one of those who want to hear the truth. Don't say something that makes me want to believe in those words. Especially when on some level, I want...need to believe in those words and meanings. But it's okay to qualify statements with "In this moment" or "At this time".

Ask yourself this-- if I told you only what I thought you wanted to hear, would you doubt my sincerity? Would you doubt my honesty? Would you believe in me? If I told you only the truth, would it make a difference? Would your belief in me be more complete? See the difference.

Honestly in love, business, and all things is always the better of the two. Caring for you takes some time, takes energy...but caring for me means that you be honest. Please.

Happiness Is....

Happiness is knowing that for the first time in years that my friends are at my side. Happiness is being in a heartmate's arms and feeling safe and loved. Happiness is finding the joy of writing once again. Happiness is laughing more because life has become bright and beautiful once more. Happiness is....taking risks and not giving a shit if you succeed or fail because it was the taking of the risk that brings the joy.

I'm waxing poetic tonight, but there are reasons. I entered the Brava contest this weekend and I'm waiting to see who all makes the cut. *whimpers* But beyond that, today, a not-so close, but knows me friend came to me and said, "You've not only lost weight, but dammit-- you're glowing again with happiness. What's up?"

I realized that he was right. I am happy. I was close to being miserable. Things happened a bit over a week ago and I was sure I was going to lose my heartmate. But, somehow, he trusted and believed in me and....he didn't leave me. I've been waiting, you know. He cares, but he has trouble defining what 'really really likes' means, and you know me--- I take the worst case scenario. It's a fault of mine.

We talk of everything and nothing. But in his arms, I know peace. He encourages me to play. To play-- how cool is that? I haven't played sexually in so long, I almost forgot how. Last night was one of those playtimes when you sit back and go "WOW!" Sinjin turned the tables on me, but what made it good was that I was able to not only enjoy myself, but in the midst of playing I was able to make points about him and I that we both need to learn and accept. But beyond that, I got to play hard, be pushy, and let the alpha side out a bit. Yet, if I'm completely honest-- there was a moment when I conceded to him. (I'd try to deny it, but it'd be a lie. Granted I could tell it like it was the truth, but he'd bitch loudly.)

He makes me play. He makes me relax. He makes me want to write and journal the experiences we have together. My soultwin knows just how happy he makes me. I'm finally able to admit it--- Heartmate, having you in my life makes me happy. Scared happy, but happy all the same. So there.

Damn the man. LOL