Thursday, November 20, 2008

Sex Ed with Mistress Cynnara- Mother Nature and Urges

Today's topic comes from a friend of mine. One I've got to admit, had me thinking and wondering how to go about this and not gross people out and how to get people past the Eew factor. So what's today's topic?

Dear Mistress Cynnara- I'm a woman who loves sex, but it's weird, either right before or during my period, it's the time when I'm the most horny. Why does this happen and how can I convince my male, I want sex and to have him give it to me? --- Raging Hormones in the Mountains

For all we talk about sex and sexuality, the female libido and the factors that influence it are not well researched or well understood. What makes it difficult is that for a long time, it was all about the male libido, the male sex drive. For those of you who were old enough to remember when it first came out about the female orgasm and the G-spot, remember the fervor? I'm not denigrating the need to understand males or their sex drive, but just a reminder that female sex needs to be understood as well as the other part of the equation. What limited studies have shown is that women do experience a need for more primal type sex before and during their periods.

Now, before people go left, right and rampant about having sex while a woman's having her period- let me state that I always insist on safe sex between partners, especially if they've not discussed sex and health issues. The idea of not having sex during a menstrual period comes about from many sources and ideas- one it's a time of power for a woman, it's not pleasant to be part of if you're a male, and the idea that it's unclean- per religious beliefs. However, there is no scientific data that says it's acceptable or not. In fact, it's decidedly mixed, just as women are a mixed bag themselves. What does that mean?

Some women are horny, some are not. Some women spook at the idea of having sex while bleeding. But one thing to note- the amount of blood is minimal- approximately 80 ml, or a little over 2 ounces. The rest is other fluids and membranes being flushed out of the system because of nonpregnancy. It's an individual decision on whether or not to engage in sexual activity during your menses. Personally, as long as you play safely, I see no reason for it. For me, I find it helps with cramps, the hormonal urges for sex, and most importantly, it allows me a chance to get a bit wild.

So, what does safe play include? First- no open cuts on either individual. If there are any, they must be properly protected. Condoms are absolutely essential as well. If you're determined to have sex on a bed or another area besides the bathroom, make sure you have coverings that absorb fluids. I usually recommend a tarp or rubber sheet covered by a couple of older towels that you don't use much anymore. For me, the only place to have sex during my period is the shower. Why? Because I can get clean right after, along with my lover. Of course, it helps if you have an oversized hot water heater, as you can be in there for a while, depending on whether or not it takes a while for you to orgasm.

So, how does one have intercourse while having one's period if the lover is willing? A variety of ways. Depending on how you both wish to start, I recommend the use of waterproof, easily cleaned toys. Why toys? Because most women, even though they're hornier than all get out at this point, they still need some physical stimulation to prepare them mentally and physically for penetration. Also, since oral sex for her is out at this point, the use of toys can replace the oral stimulation. Using clitoral stimulating toys upon her will get her excited and helps rev up the engines. Stimulating her nipples works with some women, but not all. Depends on how tender they get during their menses. If they like it, don't hold back. Fondle, caress, nibble, and play with those visible points of excitation.

If you're at this point and you, the woman feel the need for intercourse, now is the time to let the man know. Why? Because it's time to touch and play with the male, so he's aroused as well. Once that happens, let the male bring you to an orgasm via the toys at least once. Why? This helps flush out more from your body and further, it'll allow you to counteract those cramps you might experience during that time. Then, once he dons protection, you're not only lubricated, but ready for intercourse.

What if your lover isn't too thrilled with the idea of entering the sanguine zone? Then perhaps consider anal sex during this time. This way, you don't have to forgo the tampon and such, and with that slight fullness in you, you might discover the thrill of feeling full in both areas simultaneously. This way neither of you have to feel as if you're violating any kind of cleanness belief or worry about making a mess. One point to note- make sure you change your gear just prior to play. This way it'll afford you more time to play before leakage may occur.

Shower time is one of my favourite sex during my period times. Why? Because of the clean factor and because there's something very sexy about having sex in the shower anyway. The fact I can indulge it and not have to worry so much about making a mess is one less worry. Plus, for many men, this could be the deciding factor for them to try it. So, consider being plastered against the wall of the shower, having hot, erotic sex while during your period.

Until next week-- dream hot, live life to the fullest, and remember - sex is always fun!

Always,

Mistress Cynnara

 

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