Today, a new question comes in-- one that I had to smile over and one that brought back memories of my first time ni that regard.
Mistress Cynnara- I love sex, enjoy sex, but my boyfriend has suggested that we bring some toys into our sex life to spice things up a bit. Though I think the idea could be fun, I'm not sure what are the best toys to start with, though I do own my own vibrator. --- Toyless in Tacoma
When I read this question, I got excited. I mean excited to the point I brought out my favourite sex toy catalogs and decided to go toy shopping myself. Sex toys are fantastic to bring into a relationship where you have trust. More importantly, toys can help you fall over that edge from just great sex to "OMFG" sex. Now, there are toys for her, toys for him and couple toys out there. And though I advocate many places to shop for toys- once you find a place you really like and trust- patronage them regularly. You'll get good deals and more importantly, you'll find that you can depend on the quality. So, let's begin at the beginning.
Every woman needs a vibrator. I didn't use to think so until I actually used my first one I bought for myself. Believe it or not, I had owned one for years and years and used it on my lover, but not on me. (Shame on me for this! Had I only known!) What kind of vibrator depends on what you're wanting it for. Since I'm of the blended orgasm type- aka vaginal and clitoral, I tend towards the rabbit-styled vibrators. As a matter of fact, I'm buying myself a new one called Daffy the Deep Stroker. It's a bit more styled for my sexual needs and though I love the Rotating G-spot Vibrator, I wanted to try something that would also simulate having sexual intercourse.
But what if you're more the vaginal girl and not the combo type? Then we can go with more along the lines of straight vibrators. For those who prefer vaginal orgasms, the feeling of fullness and the vibrations help achieve that goal. I'm fond of the G-spot vibrators, from the simple and affordable Dual Spot Vibrator to the more expensive but just as easy to use Cyberskin Slimline Deluxe. These are some of the great vaginal orgasm toys. They're also great to use on men and for just massage purposes, depending on the style you buy.
What about the clitoral orgasm queens out there? It's not easy getting the right amount of stimulation and pressure to achieve those mind blowing, legs shaking orgasms. So what kind of toys are best? There are some great clitoral vibrators out there. My favourite out there is Adam and Eve's My Clitoral Humming Vibrator. It's fantastic and I've found that it truly delivers a great mind blowing orgasm.
But that's for self play, or play where you are given pleasure by your lover. What about toys for him? I have few favourites, especially if he's into anal play-- with me in charge! (If you're a hetero male and a bit nervous on it, you're going to want to find my article on Anal Play- you might just change your mind on letting your woman touch your anus.) But some of my favourite toys for men are: My first Anal Toy, Swirl Top Butt Plug (good for men and women! I own 2), Falcon Anal beads, stretchable cock rings, cock straps and harnesses, and male masturbator toys. These allow you to not only please your male but watch him pleasure himself under your guidance and direction.
But what about couple based toys? What can a couple have toy-wise to make them both happy? First, every couple needs at least one pair of nipple clamps- though I'll recommend one pair for women, another pair- alligator style for men- because they don't have the nipples that women do. Invest in a pair of nipple clamps as they're a fun, yet very sensual toy that doesn't cost a lot, but can be used in a variety of ways to up the play time sexually.
Other toys I put on my must have list are restraints, floggers, collars, and cock leashes. Blindfolds, silk scarves, cushioned handcuffs are some other items you can pick up over a period of time. One toy I consider a Must Have in my arsenal of toys is not a toy at all. What is it? It's a set of Sexy Dice. Why? Because with these dice, you can not only command your lover to touch a certain aspect in a random way by the dice. For people who are new at role playing or even at suggesting such a thing- these dice break the ice and allow people to be "told" what to do and to get creative doing so. Think of the dice as Truth or Dare, but only the Dares are allowed.
Why do I think these toys come in handy? These toys can be used in combination of scene play, role play and dress up to provide real-time sensation to up the sexual tension for both partners. The idea here is to be able to have toys that will pleasure and provide a more intense experience whether you're the one on the receiving end or the giving portion. Remember, toys are important for a good relationship when both lovers are open about what the toys are for and they're not used as a substitute for intimacy. Also, if you buy toys, make sure you invest in some good toy cleaner. Depending on the substance the toy is made of- you may need special cleaners to keep them in good shape.
Toys are great things to have and use in a relationship or even alone. Remember, toys are enhancements to make what's great even better. If you're not sure how to use a toy, don't panic-- ask. Sales staff and many of the adult toy websites are more than willing to explain how they work and the best techniques to use with them.
Until next week- keep dreaming those hot sexy dreams, love safely, and remember that knowledge is power.
Always,
Mistress Cynnara (continue reading &aquo;)
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