Sunday, October 01, 2006

Why do I write mainstream fiction with strong erotica romance elements?

I got asked today at the day job why I write romantic/erotic stories. I asked if he thought I was a romance writer, and he replied I was but not. And I realized that being published strictly by romance publishers that it's kind of the impression I give, though if you ever read my work-- you see it's not strictly romance in nature.

Which got me thinking on why I write so there is romance and at least happy resolutions if not the traditional happy ever after in my books. Real life doesn't always have happy endings or happily ever afters--though sometimes they do--though we don't realize it until much later. For me, I like happy endings. I like having something resolved and for the most part--if you're not having a trilogy or series, readers expect resolution in a positive way even if there are one or two things that are not happy in nature.

So--what is the easiest and the most elemental happiness or resolution? Romance, sex, relationship. Now, I'm not saying it's a breeze to write romance or even write a sex scene. However, it's one of the easiest things to introduce into the story. Girl comes to a PI office looking for help, guy rescues a girl, girl accidentally seduces the wrong guy in the bar. All instances where you can not only move the plot forward, but showcase inner emotions, challenges, and goals. The bringing in another character who provides motivation, confrontation, and exposes the fears is a way to bring instant depth to any story.

Which is why you'll see a lot of movement, action, and hot sex in my stories. You'll also see a lot of emotions flung by both male and female characters. The emotional depth of books are what hook me as a woman into reading them. I reread the Dragonlance Chronicles every year because of the depth of emotions within the stories. I reread some of my favourite romance books for the same reason-- plus the fact the plot is as important as the romance in many stories.

When we think of falling in love or even meeting Mr/Ms Right (or Right Now) how do we imagine it? Passive or within a situation that forces ourselves to step up? Thus why for me--actions always bring reactions. Put me in a situation with danger and intrigue, you'll see me being active doing my share, but in those rare down moments--I'm touching, massaging people releasing their tension and in turn, giving me the comfort of touching another human on my side. Occasionally it happens that you get adrenaline sex. (Blessed be the adrenaline sex gosd--they are so good to me.) This is why you will always see my characters either meeting in a moment of action or immediately after. Instant sparks, thrown together and often times, showing aspects that others rarely know about.

Sex happens. Yup, the other reason that my books are erotic in nature. I'm a very open person and I've experienced and seen many relationships come about from a one-night stand or even a party that ended in orgytime. Thus, it's not wrong to have characters be intimate as long as there is a justified reason for it. Give reason-- have sex. Works for me.

Relationships form under many circumstances--good and bad. One of my friends I met because I was dealing with an asshole ex-bf. She came to my side and bam! friends for over 10 years. One of my dearest friends was introduced to me by a mutual friend. When that friend moved, he and I still got together and played D&D. Now, over too many years later--we're still great friends. So, relationships form all the time in my books. Some with the hero and heroine, sometimes with secondary characters who end up with their own stories in time.

Why do I write explicit sex scenes? Hmm...because sex is explicit. It's not only done in the dark, it's not always in the missionary position, and gods forbid that a purple prose word is ever used by the two people having intimate relations. "I wanna touch your thingie." "Oh yeah, baby, and I'm going to nookie your feminine mound." Please!! I've never ever been with anyone who ever purple prosed but always called a cock a cock and breasts breasts or tits. Yes, I guess I could fade the love scenes to black and let people imagine them--but then you miss the emotional reactions to such intimacy and pleasure. Why would I deprive my readers of seeing such growth? Doesn't make sense to me.

Happily ever afters (HEA) are wonderful because we have so little in this world. But most people will notice in my stories you never have the traditional "and they got married". To me, my HEA are implied "and they dated until they realized they'd be better off financially tying the knot and telling those others 'Hands off!'" But my stories are resolution heavy. I like tidying up the ends of stories that don't continue onwards. If you've read my Marauder stories, you know that not only do they have unconventional HEA, I also write "episodes" of what happens between books for them. Thus you always see there is more than the implied marriage--if that's ever mentioned in the first place.

So, why do I write mainstream with romantic/erotic elements? Because I can and because it's a way of touching both the mind and the body. There are so little positive sex and relationship fiction books out there that I like being able to provide not only some escapism, but also encouraging women to have more sex and enjoy it with their lovers. In fact, Psychology Today mentioned that women who read romance enjoy more sex. I think it's in part--they get the balls to seduce their man/woman, whereas they might not otherwise.

I write with HEA/HR because it's something that gives a sense of accomplishment to both the reader and for the characters. It's nice when you can close a book at the end and smile while thinking, "Yeah, and they lived happily ever after...even with the same old same old." And then you notice that three hours have gone by and you feel refreshed, invigorate and for a little while--you didn't worry about the bad things happening. That's why I write what I do-- to give balance, enjoyment, and a break to those who deserve it.

Even when I got mainstream fiction--I will always have some kind of romance or relationship in the story. It's part of who I am, it's what I love and it'll always make you blush, curious, or titilate your senses. That's my job--and I like it.

Sunday, September 24, 2006

Writing: Love and Sexuality is important in any genre

I am not a pure romance writer. Let me state that upfront. What I write is women's action-adventure fiction with strong erotic romance elements. It's a mouthful, I admit, but it's the truest way of knowing what I write. But, most of my fiction writing is considered romance--unless you're one of my male readers who say I write mainstream with hot sex scenes they enjoy. Since I started writing with the goal of being published, my writing has evolved as has my perception of what I write.

Every fiction book you read is based on the concept of love. Don't shake your head at me, listen while I explain. Love is in every book because love takes many forms. It's about the lack of love--like murdering or scaring someone. Or about finding love. Or about family love, national love, or even friendly love. The base of every fiction story relates to love and the lack of it. Love isn't just romantic, but encompasses a great many things. So, the next time you pick up a fantasy or action novel--ask yourself--what is the love theme of the story. You might just be surprised on what you discover.

Now, romance is about romantic love. It's about not having it at first and finally achieving it at the end. Romance books deal not just with realistic love, but with ideals as well. It reminds us of those days when we were head-over-heels in love, giddy with excitement, fighting it while knowing in our hearts that we want that chance to be with someone who loves us just as much. Men and women look at romance differently. But--it's not really all the different except in how the tales are presented.

Men are more driven on actions, on doing, on showing. Women like to know, to feel, to explore. A damn good romance novel will appeal to both sexes if it mixes both male and female aspects of love. It might be something as the hero buying her a small gift she wanted but hadn't asked for. He might not tell her that he bought it to make her happy--but he's showing love. For her, she might make him a meal, or even massage him, telling him how much he means to her. How he makes her feel. That's her showing love. When you can show both, including the misunderstandings, the not seeing what they mean--you deepen the process of falling in love.

I know some writers who write romance and have no sex scenes in their stories, but the makeout sessions are damn hot. There are other authors who have explicit sex scenes, exploring various facets of sexuality. *raises hand high* The physical expression of love is a huge thing for guys. For them it's the most visible way of showing they care. Yes, sex for sex sake is common, but when a guy cares--it shifts in how it presents itself. For women, it's the mental and emotional stimulation that helps bring the physical expression to that higher level.

Now, I explore sexuality a lot in my books--including menage, polyamory, couples of same sex and hetero couples. For me, sexuality isn't confined to one isolated view, but to multiple views that allow the full depth of love to be expressed physically and emotionally. Some people aren't comfortable with dealing on those areas, but within the idea of a romance--they're willing to explore those areas that they aren't willing to try personally for whatever reason. Which is why I enjoy writing those romances that stretch the boundaries, introduce concepts of polyamory, menage, and various other lifestyles like BDSM, etc. Sometimes by reading those books, the reader not only learns more about what it could be like if they tried, but they open up to others who are active participants in those lifestyles. It's that love of humanity thing making its way around.

For me, the challenge in writing erotic romantic adventure fiction is to make it believable even if it's paranormal or fantasy in nature. To make you put aside what you know and to enjoy the moment of the story--knowing that at the end--there will be satisfying resolutions and in some cases--the traditional happily ever after. Now, one thing to realize in my stories is that there is only one of my written, but unpublished stories that have a wedding occurring. My stories end with where they're in love, willing to work on the relationship and commit to each other on some level.

For women, it's this storyline--the meeting and the falling in love that really gets to women. It's a reminder that no matter how the relationship is now in their lives--that they can recall how they fell in love while renewing that passion by reading romance. Men for the most part get a bad rap about forgetting anniversaries, birthdays, etc. But for them, it's not the falling in love part that gets to them. It's the day in, day out of being with the woman they've chosen and that she's still there that reminds them of the power of love.

If men really want to know how many women view romance and being romanced--pick up a romance novel. If you've got a woman who's not quite the sweet, quiet type--you might want to pick up an erotic romance that pushes boundaries. See how the process of falling in love is presented and why women enjoy it so much. Every thing you do and more importantly, everything you say affects this process. When you're aware that if you just caress her cheek, smile at her and tell her she's fantastic and that she'll kiss you or blush--know that you're seducing her and she's responding to your cues.

Women--men like actions. Show them you love them. Hell, seduce them. Need help-- pick up those romance novels, find your favourites seduction scenes and put one together for him. Men like to be acknowledged for all they do to provide things, even if they don't share their minds and souls on how they feel. By showing them how to add the words to the actions, they'll start responding in kind. Remember that it's a two-way street: if you want to be romanced then you have to romance them in the way they need.

When I write romance or even an emotional scene, I look at it from both point of views--hero and heroine. I see who has the most impact and I write from that viewpoint. Sometimes we need to see the hero taking that step into expressing how he feels, even if he can't yet tell the heroine. Other times, it's the heroine's POV and showing how she goes out of her way to seduce the hero or even to show when she realizes she's fallen for him. For me, presenting both POV at various times allows the readers to bond with both characters and gives insight into how relationships work for both romantic and for friendship.

I write mainstream action-adventure fiction with strong erotic romantic elements. To me, nothing is more important than showing how relationships form and dissolve as life progresses, including during crises. Sometimes people find their soulmates, sometimes they find their heartmates. Othertimes it's a true friend that makes life better. What matters is how they learn, grow, and experience love in all its possibilities in the story--all while making sure that the story keeps the reader hooked. One good trilogy that to me epitomizes how romance and more blooms under crises is the Dragonlance Chronicles by Margaret Weis and Tracy Hickman. For those of you who are going, "what romance? What love?" you need to reread those books. You took in the relationships and encouraged them or worried on them without ever realizing that there was romance in the stories. My stories are more obvious, but most men seem to like them even with the happily-ever after endings.

Friday, September 22, 2006

Pushing Boundaries in Writing and Personally

Recently with all the weird and unusual things happening in my life, I managed to sit down and do something I've never really done before--I read a couple of my old books and compared them to my writing now. I'm surprised in how far I've come--and where I've changed when I said I wouldn't ever do that. LOLOL There are some things I don't do anymore that I need to reincorporate when I write that I stopped doing for who knows why.

While doing this growth check, I also looked to see how I've personally pushed boundaries in my writing. I don't mean just in the types of stories I tell, but also in pushing boundaries in emotions, character growth, sex scenes, and worldbuilding. One thing I've noticed is that I'm neither shy about writing about emotional growth of characters nor do I shy from tackling various sex plays or lifestyles.

Pushing boundaries is part of growth as a writer. You try new things--perhaps a change from 3rd person POV to 1st person--or perhaps going to Deep 3rd instead of just regular 3rd. Perhaps you might try something with paranormal elements or more suspense included in the plotline. Sometimes we lock ourselves into this set pattern of what we write and think we can't or shouldn't stray from that path. For me--I'm eclectic in what I read-- from romance, erotica, sci fi, fantasy, mystery, manga, non-fic, history, etc. Reflecting my interests often mean that I include elements of what I read. For example-- most people might classify Mark of the Blood as paranormal erotic romance. I classify it a bit differently-- main stream paranormal erotic action/adventure with strong thriller and romantic elements. Yes there is a HEA (happily ever after) but there is so much more to the book than just the romance--though for many that's the main reason they enjoy it. (I do like a good romance that's not like everyone else's.)

I want to touch on sexual boundaries. This is a touchy subject, but one I'm determined to touch upon. People who read my books often ask about the sex scenes in them. They want to know if I've acted out those specific scenes or have done what's in them. I often laugh at this because these people never ask me if I've killed people like my characters have done in defense or if I've ever met a vampire, etc. Often I answer the question by saying something like, "The scenes are the product of my imagination, though I can guarantee you that every scene can be accomplished in person as long as you're in decent shape." Let them figure out if I've actually done it or heard about it from a friend. My readers know I'm very open when it comes to discussing sex, sensuality, and love.

In a couple of my stories, there are menage relationships involved. For me to write about polyamory and menage sex was pushing a limit. Not due to whether or not I've been in anything similar sexually or relationship-wise, but because of bringing alive the emotional relationships for all the characters involved. There are some stories that lightly touch upon bondage, dominant/submissive relationships, and other types of "kinky" sex play and lifestyles. Again, it isn't the issue of my having done them or not, but whether or not I can bring to life those aspects in proportion to the relationship of the characters. When I push those boundaries, do I bring it to life for the reader and explain it so they understand it's perfectly acceptable so long as all parties are consensual and enjoy the kink in question?

I had been hesitant to push those boundaries as my readers expected hot, erotic, not deeply kinky sex from my stories. Though there were some scenes that touched some boundaries, it wasn't until I wrote Games Empaths Play that I crossed a lot of boundaries. I knew some of my readers might be a bit hesitant to read something that dealt with a menage a trois, especially since two of the participants were brothers...but the story deserved to be told, and it opened many people not only to what menage is, but that there are many varieties and subtle differences involved--depending on the people and their needs. For me, that story was a milestone--writing about something I believe is not only possible, but feasible for people who are wired for it-- polyamory.

In the sequel I have planned to GEP, I'll be touching once again upon menage/polyamory, but also on other sexual boundaries. I'm not doing it to be noticed in the erotic romance market, but because the second story deals deeper within the workings of the pt'vsha, sex slave, community. In some ways this loosely connected series always me to not only grow and expand my writing, but gives me a place where I can present the beauty and wonderfulness inherent in other types of sex play and lifestyles.

When there's time, I'll be pushing other boundaries--finishing my fantasy novel, working on my Arthurian series-- Avalon Returns, and exploring the balance between good/evil, law/chaos, and more. Each book teaches me something new, and I spend a lot of time doing research, talking to people and experiencing, if possible, the things I write about. Not only does it help with my writing--it helps me as a person too. Never regret anything that helps you grow, even if there are prices paid that hurt. Life is learning and growing--and no one ever said it was a painless experience.

The biggest thing I notice with my boundary pushing is that my readers give me the chance to do so--tell me what works, what doesn't work and why. While I might not agree 100% of the time with all they say, I do keep it in mind as I write. They do influence me on some level, but at the same time--I make sure I stay true to the story's heart. As I push the boundaries and grow as a writer, my readers also learn more too. A friend of mine once said that boundaries are just things you've not tried--they're neither good nor bad until you experience them and decide for yourself. I've always agreed with that theory, so exploring and pushing those boundaries have always been part of my life, including the writing career. If you've never tested a boundary you have, take a chance-- you might find that it's not as bad as you think or you might find that it's there for a damn good reason.

Sunday, September 17, 2006

How to Critique for Others and Yourself

One of the things that often come up by new writers, or even some who are finally submitting and get back a rejection is--- how can Ifind someone to critique or edit my work before I submit it to publishers? How can I make sure that when I check my work, or a friends-- it's the best it can be? These are good questions as finding solid critique partners is hard. Not everyone sees things in the same way, nor should they-- as we all are aware of different things in stories. But what if you have a CP (critique partner) and you're finding that they're not catching the same things they used to? What can you do?


First, let's talk about what it means to critique. Not everyone agrees. Some people think it means to read over it, catch glaring plot inaccuracies, misspelled words, awkward sentences, and other similar things. That's true, but it's also important to remember that you're there to catch bad writing habits that an author has, so they can fix them. You're now wondering about the time it takes to do a thorough critique. Remember-- not everyone asks for a thorough critique of their work-- they effectively tell you what they need you to concentrate on and ignore the rest, which is fine to do. Does this mean that if you're critting someone that you must be nice, polite, and gentle, or does it mean that you can rip them to shreds for every mistake? Actually it's both. Let's look at some things to remember when you're critiquing for another person and points to pick up.

What does a good crit consist of? Pointing out plot errors on a smaller level (a scene, each chapter) and on the larger scale (several chapters and through the entire book). This means if you notice something that is important suddenly pop up and it's something that should've been seen or at least casually noted before-- that's a plot inconsistency. If you see where there's a reaction and no discernable action to cause it-- that's an inconsistency. You notice that certain things can't be done due to realistic positioning and the lack of full description-- you note it-- it's a plot inconsistency as well as an unrealistic movement. Letting it ride because it sounds cool won't happen with a publisher's editor. So, if you want to help your fellow CP, tell them what's unrealistic so they can make it right-- thus impressing the editor with solid knowledge on how a complicated set of actions are done realistically.

Grammar is very important, though not as important as you think. Minor grammatical errors are expected by most editors. It's part and parcel of being in the moment as you write. CPs are there to catch items like passive sentences, awkward phrasings, run-on sentences, even words that don't fit the action or description. There are a couple of items that I've seen as both a freelance editor and as a CP that others do miss-- these are things that people have to "hear" to pick up on. Sentence structure. If a paragraph has many sentences starting with the same noun/pronoun meaning-- that paragraph reads passively. An overuse of "as" "but" "yet" "while" "then". It happens with these words, you can't avoid use of them many times, however, you can find other ways of phrasing your sentences that'll reduce the use of them. As critiquers-- your job is it point them out.

Let's see a couple of examples of writing where we can pick out the errors. Then we'll see if you saw what I did. Then we'll discuss one important thing that critiquers MUST learn how to do, especially if they crit the same people over and over. But first, let's do a couple of examples.


Cylene smiled as they walked out to the backyard. Cylene loved her backyard. On one acre of land, she had built a reflection pond in the heart of a maze at the back of her home. Darin, an architect, and a landscape genius helped make her dream a reality when she asked him to help her. She looked up at the Chinese lanterns that dotted along the outskirts of the maze and highlighted the area in a soft romantic light. She loved how the lanterns reflected the light from the stars in the sky.


What problems do you see in this paragraph? What would you recommend for fixing? What word choices would you suggest using instead of others? Do you find this paragraph active or passive overall? Are there any verbs that you'd replace? Why? Do you notice anything else that either stops the action or forces you to reread it to understand it? Mark all of those things. Now, let's look at a revised version.


Cylene smiled happily while they walked towards her specially designed backyard. On the one acre of land sitting behind her home, she envisioned a labyrinth with a reflecting pool as the crowning centerpiece. Darin, a landscape architect and good friend, transformed the dream into reality with his patented genius, for giving her and her friends a beautiful meditation aid. Gesturing towards the crimson Chinese lanterns that were carefully placed around the labyrinth to create a romantic atmosphere, she asked her companion, "What do you think of my favourite sanctuary?"


What problems do you see in this paragraph? What would you recommend for fixing? What word choices would you suggest using instead of others? Do you find this paragraph active or passive overall? Are there any verbs that you'd replace? Why? Do you notice anything else that either stops the action or forces you to reread it to understand it? Once you've answered those questions....let's talk about what makes the second paragraph better than the first.

The first paragraph was very amateur and basic. In fact, there are repetitive sentence structures throughout it. Notice how many times the sentences either had "Cylene", "She", or "Her". The best way to know if you're using too much of the sentence structure is this--- if you have six sentences and more than 2 are starting the same way-- you've got repetition problems. Now, read the original paragraph aloud. What do you notice about it? The way its worded, it sounds as if you're telling a story to another person. "Did you hear about so-and-so? He said......He then went.....Darin couldn't believe it....His coat...." That's passive writing. Those sentences are all telling what's happening, not showing when you look at them as a whole. If you're an author-- you want these pointed out. If you're critting for another writer-- if you want to really help them-- you point this out because editors will nail them for repetitive use.

Notice verbs in the first paragraph-- they're normal verbs, that convey the basic sense of action. However, they don't do anything to layer the scene with the senses. Do you see at least two senses per scene? Do you feel that the environment is alive in the scene, an active part of what's happening? Or do you feel like you're dealing with Talking Head Syndrome? What's THS? We'll cover this in the next critique lesson.

By offering other choices, or even rewording a sentence for the author to show them how to make it more active-- you help the writer to see how to fix their own writing. Any author who tells you that making any kind of changes to their words is changing their voice --- doesn't know what voice is. Tightening a sentence, using the components in that sentence isn't changing voice, it's helping to strengthen a story. If you, as a writer, can't handle people changing a couple of words or phrases to help show how to make things better-- you need to ask yourself if you're cut out to be a professional writer. Editors change words all the time--- and they don't have to ask your permission for it if you've violated the laws by using Passive, Repetitive, and Boring. If your voice allows those things in-- then you need to find a better voice as that one won't sell. Critting is used to make your voice better-- by showing you how to make your style and voice sing with active, senses loaded sentences and plotlines. Suggestions are just that-- suggestions, but you must learn that critiques aren't there to pander to you, but to help you strengthen your weakness and to engage your strengths.

Now we come to one of the most IMPORTANT points in critting for someone. Especially if you've critiqued for this person for a while. It happens to the best of us, but it can fought and rejected. What point am I talking about? It's--- They Mean This--- syndrome. When you know what an author means, but you're not seeing what's said-- you're dooming the author to getting loads of revisions from editors. What do I mean by this? When you know what an author meant in parts of their writing, and it's vague and you don't remind them to clarify things-- you're perpetuating a crime that editors hate. The editor will say..."This is what this says....change it." The author will say..."But what I meant is this..."

Unfortunately-- the author will not win this one. Ever. You might know the writing style of your CP enough that you unconsciously adjust the meanings to what's written, thus never pointing out they need to fix that part of a story. When you're critiquing another person....one you know well...you MUST MUST MUST guard against this. You don't help the writer if you mentally change what's there to what's meant. The readers don't know the author's intentions as they don't personally know the author-- that means if it's NOT clear by what's SAID...then what's MEANT doesn't mean shit. They must clarify to make what's said match what's meant. Please-- if you have any love for your critique partners-- do NOT let them get away with "This is what I meant.." Make sure you guard yourself against falling into that fatal trap-- it might be the reason your manuscript is rejected.

Your first homework exercise--- take out something you wrote a while ago and haven't looked at recently. Go through the first three paragraphs and try to see what errors you find by using some of these techniques.

Steps of Critiquing

What are the steps to doing a good solid critique? We've talked about things to look for, but how can you give a good crit without committing hours upon hours of time going through a complete manuscript? How can you be a solid, yet streamlined critique partner? There are some techniques I use when I crit, but I allow the fact that a crit is not as indepth as an edit and some things should be apparent after pointing it out the first ten times to an author-- they should be able to go through their manuscript and fix the rest of those errors. So, let's make a checklist of the major points to look for when critiquing for someone else.


• Passive sentences. The dreaded words of "was" "were" "had" "having" Any form of "to be" needs to be checked for. Any verbs ending in "-ing" need to be checked for passiveness. (Though remember-- they're not passive within themselves, only used in conjunction with those evil "to be" verbs.)
• Repetitive sentence structure. Do you see sentences starting the same way in one paragraph? What about in consecutive paragraphs? If every other sentence starts "She was" "She thought" "Heroine moved" or "Her arm twitched"...then you're looking at repetitive sentences.
• Problems with Action-Reaction. Do you see the response to something before it happens? Do you have to pause and reread the sentence to figure out what action is missing or if it follow the reaction? Note this to the author-- it means that they're putting the Reaction first...thus ruining the logical sequence of the story.
• Anything that makes you reread a paragraph. If you find yourself going, "Huh?" Reread it and note to the author where you had to reread and ask for clarification there because otherwise it'll frustrate the readers too.
• Gaping plot holes. Do you see where they're doing one thing, only a few pages later, they're doing something totally opposite with no reason given? Point it out.
• Problematic words that slow down pacing and are overused. "As" "then" "but" "yet" "while"
• POV (Point of View) issues. Anytime you see the POV change from one character to another without proper transitioning, scene breaks, or where a sentence is in another POV in the middle of the main POV-- note it. It's got to be fixed.
• Make sure you don't fall into the "What's Meant over what's Said" trap. Point out what's said and how it doesn't match what's meant. It needs to be fixed.
• THS-- Talking Head Syndrome. This is a biggie to note, and I saved this until last because it's the hardest to deal with for both the author and the CP.


What is THS? Talking Head Syndrome is where you have dialog with no tags, no action-- basically nothing that shows you what's happening while the dialogue exchange is quick paced. Let me give you an example of THS, so you can see it in action.


"You're an idiot for agreeing to see him."
"Am not!"
"Are too. Do you think he doesn't realize what's happening here?"
"He doesn't care and neither do you."
"I care, but there's not a damn thing I can do!"
"Of course not, why get involved when it means it might cost you something."



Notice the exchange-- it's fast and furious with tons of sarcasm tossed in.....or is it? How can the words alone tell you tone of voice? More importantly--- there's action. All you have are two talking heads yapping at each other. There are no senses used to convey emotions or anything to give us a clue as to how important this is. Now, lets look at a new version.


"You're an idiot for agreeing to see him." His fist slammed on the desk, toppling two picture frames. She flinched at the noise.
"Am not!" Charlee couldn't believe that he was being so arrogant. She knew Andre and the risk was worth it if she recovered the diamond. How could Dax think that she hadn't taken all precautions on protecting them?
"Are too. Do you think he doesn't realize what's happening here?" The look on his face was pure rage. Even after all this time, she realized, Dax had never found out the truth about that night with Andre. Did she dare correct him? "He's an asshole who would love to see this fail!"
"He doesn't care and neither do you. Andre doesn't know what we do, Dax." Rubbing her temples with her fingertips, she tried to prevent the throbbing in her head from growing into something more. She was tired of their posturing bullshit, but she needed that diamond back. These two men were the only ones who could help her-- if they just would stop hating each other.
"I care, but there's not a damn thing I can do!" His hand shot out, grabbing her arm, distracting her from the tension headache building up. She glanced up, catching a look of something-- anguish?- in his chocolate brown eyes. Anguish or not, she couldn't give in; there was too much at stake, more than she'd ever admit to. But how to get Dax to help?
"Of course not, why get involved when it means it might cost you something." The only warning she had was the tightening of his hand on her arm and the low, menacing growl.



See the difference? There's action, emotional responses and a layering of senses. You feel what's happening and hear the emotions. This is what readers want-- a deep, complex book that comes alive in their minds. You as the CP need to mention that while the author wants a quick, snappy pace-- the reader will need a bit more information and action to keep the scene in their mind and not have visions of floating heads talking.

This is just a small list that I use when I do a crit for someone. I don't go looking for everything wrong with a book, but I do keep watch for certain common problems that crop up. An editor goes deeper in the story, finding tiny inconsistencies, checking on facts, and highlighting ever grammar issue known to man. But if you can see and bring attention to the major things-- the story will be stronger for it. The author might not want to thank you at first for being a solid CP who does their job...but in the long run, you've done what they can't do-- see their work in a clear, unbiased light.

Being a critique partner isn't easy and sometimes people who are new to writing don't have the skills. But by following these basic steps, you'll begin to see how to critique better for others as well as yourself.

Monday, July 17, 2006

An Open Letter to the President of the United States, Politicians, and Big Business

Dear Mr. President and company,


I’m writing this open letter to you today because it’s official—I’m not only disappointed in you as an American, but as a citizen of this planet. I wish I could say it’s only this one administration that I’m disappointed in, but it’s not. For the record, I voted for President Bush’s re-election but only because of having lived in the state Senator Kerry was from, he wasn’t the least devil to deal with for four years. But my voting preferences aren’t the issue—what is at issue is the repeated disregarding of the foundation of America as well as a failure to be part of the world citizenship in the now and in the future that you all as people who help shape the present and the future have failed in doing. I am ashamed to be American and you can pat yourselves on the back for that as I know I’m not alone in this sentiment. Let’s take a look at what problems you are associated with and how, at least for the politicians, as servants of the people—you will either start correcting your path or face expulsion in the next elections for failure to do what’s best for America. As for you, Big Business—be prepared—you’ve already lost business because of your lack of foresight and lack of responsibility towards this home we call Earth. Maybe sending you out in space to figure out how to survive would give you a reality check.

Number one—let’s start with this Big Business and Politician ass-kissing, money-giving bullshit to think only short-term and only for the special few. Last time I checked and as a student of history, America was founded on the idea of freedom—freedom from tyranny, freedom of religion, freedom of being forced to bend to people who don’t have our best interests at heart. Let’s be honest—big business is out for big business. You want to know why they’re doing things for their consumers now? Because they’re being told they’re fucking up, losing customers, and people are making not only tough economic choices brought on by big business, but to make sure that the environment and our future is considered. Accepting money from every damn specialty group is not a way to make sure people aren’t forgotten in making bills, laws, etc. It’s a way of influencing supply, demand, and also making sure that instead of making changes that help everyone, that it only helps a select few. Do you remember the beginning of the Declaration of Independence? How about the Bill of Rights? Remember the phrase—“All men are created equal”? If you do and you’re not making sure that every law and bill you create doesn’t help all people of all races, creeds, beliefs, genders, etc, then you are not being American nor are you following the laws set forth by the founding fathers. Don’t try to tell me how much money is given to politicians by big business that it helps the people—if you’re claiming it in your income tax statements—it’s not going to the people. Get real, we’re not stupid, and we know the score.

Big business, do you honestly think that we think better of you for buying off the politicians to push your own agenda across to the American people? Do you think we can be swayed by short-term things that you do to help people when in the long run, we know that for you the only thing that counts is the bottom line? The answer is no. If you’re not part of the short and long term solution, you’re definitely part of the problem. A part that needs to be dealt with or eradicated. Granted blowing all of you to bits is not a proper human emotion, but when I consider the pain, suffering, and terror you’ve caused for so many people over so many decades—there are moments when I think you all deserve that once you’ve been tortured and made to live the life that you’ve made so many others to live because of your stupidity and greed. In the immortal words spoken by many people through many eons—“Get over yourself.” You want long term customers? You want loyalty from workers and from buyers? Then do the right thing—make solid products, make them cost effective, stop over-extending yourself to keep up with the Jones’ company, and do right by the community in which you’re based in.

As for you politicians, stop taking bribes. And yes, by definition, taking money for consideration for anything is a bribe if it makes you vote against what your constituents have told you what they want. And by the way—if you accept bribe money, you need to be out of office, especially if you keep that money to yourself and not using it to help the community that voted your sorry ass into office. And yes, I said “sorry ass”. I have no liking for people who can be bribed as they don’t know which is left or right without having a wad of green shoved up their ass to tell them which is which. You want to serve all people within your community? Then serve them truthfully, remembering that you have all types of people who you are there to serve, protect, and represent in Congress. If you can’t do that, then you need to leave your job—you’re incompetent and can’t see beyond your own damn agenda—not the foundation of America.

The second issue to be discussed is separation of Church and State. Now, this in particular deals with you, Mr. President, so listen up, pay attention, and make sure that you break out the history book and your Bible. Yes, your Bible—people like you who claim to be Christian but can’t even follow the laws and precepts set out in the Bible are pseudo-Christians and have reminded me that even before Christianity was thought of and developed from Judaism (and yes, Christianity is a Jewish sect, just like Islam, so get over it), there were other religious beliefs that deserve to be remembered and followed. Call me Pagan to make it simpler for your mind to comprehend, since I doubt you could fully understand my belief system. Now, remember, one of the freedoms I mentioned before was the whole Church and State separated. This is a good thing. Do you know anything from the so-called Dark to Middle Ages in Europe? The whole Church ran and propagated law from its belief system and tortured those who didn’t believe the same way? Do you remember why the Puritans were highly encouraged to get the hell out of England? Do you remember why various religious sects came to America? It’s called the freedom of religion. The right to practice your own beliefs without worrying that the State would tell you that you’re wrong or that it would allow one religious system to run rampant over other people’s rights. You, Mr. President, are highly guilty of this. You have betrayed your oath as President to uphold American law, fundamentals, and the foundation. You have brought Church and State together for the detriment of many people. You and those who push their own religious beliefs to rule over all of America are guilty of breaking one of the fundamental reasons for the creation of this country. When you consider that you have even broken Biblical law. Remember that Jesus himself stated that his kingdom, the ones that his followers served was no part of this world. (See John 18:36) In fact, did he not encourage the separation of religion and state in Matthew 22: 19-21 when talking about giving back Caesar’s things to Caesar and God’s things to God? So, by being part of the government and taking active part in bringing Church and State together, you are breaking the laws set forth by God and the United States of America. What will you say to God when he asks you if you’ve followed all his laws? You can’t lie to him and he will definitely point out these facts to you, just as I do now.

Separation of church and state is not only important because of trying to keep one religion from dominating any other in America, but also because democracy cannot function properly with having religion influencing politics. Granted, America does not in any way practice true democracy, in the truest, more historical sense of the word—where everyone’s vote counts in all major issues, but even in this Republic sense of democracy, allowing religion, particularly the fundamentalists to run the roost doesn’t help it to run better, but harkens back to the Middle Ages. Personally, as interesting as the Middle Ages are, there’s no way I’ll live in a place that allows one religion (particularly one sect of said religion) to run my life. If you want to destroy America, then go ahead, break the law and allow church and state to combine and allow church to influence the law of the land. And when America collapses, you can pat yourself on the back and say, “God, I did such a good job in bringing a man-made Armageddon on my people I swore to serve, protect, and represent because I thought only about my beliefs and my wants. Aren’t you proud of me?” Just remember how God rewarded those who didn’t follow the laws given by him and the laws of man that he told you to obey. Shame on you, Mr. President, and the rest of you politicians who allow religion to influence your state responsibilities to all people in America, including the atheist, the Jew, the Muslim, the Pagan, and those of other beliefs by breaking a foundation law of America and thinking it’s acceptable—it’s not.

Three—we’re going to bring back big business in here again, along with the politicians—we’re going to discuss your stupidity in regards to Global Warming. Now, before you open your mouth and show yourselves as parrots who can mimic facts, figures and other things—let me acquaint you with some facts. I live in Florida. In the past 7 years, I’ve seen the increase of hurricanes hitting land and I’ve seen the result of pollution. Oh yeah, I’ve also been keeping up with data with regards to global warming in all its formats. Yes, most global warming is natural—however, pollution and the overuse of natural gases, coal, gas and oil has contributed to the acceleration of the warming process—putting the world at risk. See, you all forget one major thing—the United States is not alone in ruling or running the world. Your inactions affect other countries and other continents. You refuse to move forward in making our nation great by moving green, by cutting fossil fuel consumption and finding other ways of not only creating business, but also in preserving our world for the future. Don’t delude yourselves that your children, grand-children, or great-grandchildren are going to thank you for fucking up the earth to the point that it can’t be undone. Don’t think that we, the people who will be taking your place as the heads of government or business are going to thank you for making our jobs harder. Instead, you can basically pat yourselves on the collective back and be proud that you are the major fuckups of the world.

Taxing sugar created alcohol with 100% tariffs when it means we could reduce our consumption of gasoline and oil buying, yet not taking oil? Denounce terrorism with one side of your mouth while buying oil from terrorists and those who support terrorism? Refuse to be innovative and create fuel efficient cars, reduce the weight of cars, trucks on roads, and not doing roadwork right the first time in order to create a perpetual cycle of problems? Yeah, you got a lot to be proud of there. Oh yeah, and let’s not forget about the Kyoto Protocol, which would’ve forced both politicians and big business to get off their fat, lazy, greedy asses and get with the program. You do not deserve clean air, good food, or the land you live on because you’re polluting the rest of the world to do it. We talk about terrorism—let’s talk eco-terrorism. You are terrorists—by your refusals to get real, grow up, and start leading the way to a greener way of life. You are hypocrites of the highest level. You want third world countries to follow the Kyoto protocol, yet you won’t be part of it because it means you have to actually become innovative, get active, and stop whoring with those who don’t want to be responsible in helping preserve the earth as long as they get their money. You can all pat your backs for the devastation that was Hurricane Katrina. You can even thank your asses for all the hurricanes that hit the US in the past four years. Your inactions to protect the world that gave you the way to make money now costs the government and other businesses money, not to mention hurts the people you serve and you need to buy your products. Congratulations, you have won the award for lack of forethought and far-sight that I usually reserve for people who commit acts of murder and genocide. I guess we can refer to all of you as the eco-Hitlers of a new age, you’re killing species of animals and plants, and in the end, the human race. Too bad that your insight and innovation, which was the signature of America is lost to you, which has translated into loss of jobs, people leaving the country, and every other country not only laughing at the US, but proving that it’s just like the dinosaur—on the verge of extinction. Bravo—the bottom dollar is going to be the death of you, and you don’t have the brains to even see it. Gods above, save the rest of us from being condemned with you.

Perhaps you need to watch a few science shows to help you understand just how close we are to disaster. I can recommend the shows, “Addicted to Oil” and “Global Warming—what you need to know” as two things to start off with as they won’t overtax your brain. It’s obvious that becoming a green nation is going to cost a bit, but the more you encourage and lead the way to living green, to save the only world we humans can live on, the more that it shows that America is no longer out of touch with dementia and the more fellow Americans will do their part. As for you big businesses, who are about to cry about how to become more efficient and the whole cost to be greener than you are now—you are missing the big picture. If America falls or ends up being subjected to UN sanctions, do you really think you won’t be impacted? If the other nations in the Kyoto Compact act in unison, demanding that you obey world protocols or pay more money in taxes or sell at a loss, do you really think you’ll be in business much longer? Look at the long term picture, people. You’re losing a battle you cannot win. Mother Nature is fucking pissed at what we’ve done to it, and unless we make changes to slow down global warming to the normal level, we’re not going to survive as a race by the 22nd century.

There are plenty of ways of getting people to get green. Make tax incentives for people to buy products that are from green companies, that promote recycling, and make them available everywhere, not just a few places in the US. For big businesses, the reason for many things being more expensive is because that you refuse to get with the program and make things cheaper by making it part of your normal every day process. If you think that green can’t have an impact on sales—try looking at the publishing industry and see what impact electronic publishing is having on it. You might just find out how much more money and acclaim you can get from being the innovative, environmentally friendly business that lasts not just for a decade, but for many generations. The choice is simple—become a fossil fuel yourself or be part of the next evolutionary leap for businesses. How you want to be remembered by customers is up to you—but personally, I’d hate to be remembered as the company that contributed to the downfall of mankind by continuing to release dangerous gases into the atmosphere while using up fossil fuel to unviable levels.

When I consider these things, and talking to my friends who live in other nations, sometimes it’s really hard to be a proud American. Some say that 9/11 was a day where Americans as a whole stood up and showed that they could handle anything and keep going. I say that 9/11 proved that the United States is a dinosaur that refuses to evolve and be part of the world. I lost friends that day, and have friends who lost people that day. We, the survivors, have shown that we don’t view the world in the same narrow-minded, ignorant way that led to 9/11. Many of us have friends in various countries and we are highly aware of our role in the world. We have evolved and now we’re issuing you a warning—evolve or die out. There is no other choice. If you really love America as much as you say and you really support the foundation that America was created upon, then you would be doing everything in your power to protect all people, keep church and state separate, be innovative, and be the leader among going green in the world. We used to set the standard by which the rest of the world tried to achieve—we are now the laughingstock of the world because we’ve become the class clown who will never achieve anything beyond making others laugh. Many of us are trying to change it, one step at a time, but it’s people like yourselves that make each step a battle because you can’t own up to the great fuckup that you helped create and maintain. My grandfather said that the best way to make up for a mistake made is to get out there and do the right thing and make right your wrong. So, I challenge you all—politicians and big businesses alike—get off your ass and do the right thing—make America a great country to live in, to be proud of, and a place that once again leads the way for a better world for all of mankind.

Always,

Cynthia Witkus

Saturday, July 01, 2006

Epublishing and the writer

In today’s growing technology, the writer has many more options in the world of publishing. There are some myths that need to be dealt with as we enter the technologically advanced publishing realm. As we stride forward into the 21st century, writers are turning to electronic publishing as a viable medium. Yet, many readers are either unaware of epublishing or have heard horror stories.

Let’s separate fact from fiction. Only by taking an in-depth look at epublishing and getting beyond the horror stories can we find out the truth about the e-world. The main complaints by many in the print publishing arena are: popularity, quality, growth, technology, and that it causes a glut in the seemingly crowded publishing world. Let’s address the issues one by one.

Popularity and Growth- You’ll hear it said that epublishing, especially ebooks aren’t popular and that most people are unaware that ebooks exist. Those who are against the world of epublishing will say that most people don’t want to curl up with a computer and that ebook readers are too expensive. They also state that sales prove they’re not as popular as print books.

According to the June 7, 2004 article at MacWorld UK and PR Newswire, ebook sales are the publishing industry’s largest growth sector. Sales were up 46% in the first quarter of 2004. What’s even more interesting are the names of the publishers who gave information to correlate the data. The article reads, “Publishers and retailers that contributed to the 1st quarter 2004 survey are: eBooks.com, Elib, E-Reads, Fictionwise.com, Hard Shell Word Factory, HarperCollins, Mobipocket, Palm Digital Media, RAND Corporation, Random House, Simon & Schuster, The McGraw-Hill Companies, Time Warner Book Group, and Zondervan.

Notice that even major print publishers are aboard the epublishing wagon. In fact, you can peruse many of their websites and find their ebook divisions. If there weren’t a market for it, the publishers wouldn’t offer online buying of their books in various formats, including electronically. Then there’s the fact that many academic publishers are doing etextbooks to bring down the costs as well.

What about ebook readers are too expensive? Since many of the formats of ebooks, ejournals are in PDF and HTML, you can read them off of your computer with the simple installation of a PDF reader, like Adobe, which is free to download. Your computer comes equipped to read an HTML book. Some other formats are specific to devices, Mobi Pocket being one of the top programs to use on PDAs, iPods, ebook readers, and other multimedia devices. The cost varies from $50 for a reconditioned PDA on up for a new one on up the scale depending on the gadgets wanted. So, if you’re buying a PDA to get rid of the paper ladened date book you already possess, then you also possess and ebook reader. The programs to read the ebooks are available at no cost and often come preinstalled. Thus pricing isn’t a factor either as the popularity of PDAs and similar items are growing. In fact, Sony had developed an ebook reader that even had pages you turn, letting you have that page turning sensation.

Another thing to keep in mind when you deal with price, major academic publishers are looking at etextbooks for schools because it’d be cheaper for kids to have their textbooks uploaded onto an ebook reader. Look at the many scholarly journals that have gone to an online format, as it saves money for them. Thus, we have a diverse section of publishing that are going to electronic formats for various reasons. Electronic books are a bit proportionately cheaper than print, though that’s always the case.

Quality- This is an area that most frequently crops up when there’s a discussion of electronic publishing and print publishing. Quality covers a whole range of areas, but most specifically this is aimed at the editing, plot, and grammar core of the book or article. Are ebooks, ejournals, and ezines terribly written, edited, and formatted?

As mentioned prior, there are many print publishers who have ebook divisions. They have a good quality team, but even they make mistakes in their editing and formatting. Yes, in the past, there were many ebooks and online articles that were poorly formatted, edited, and written coherently. However, the same can be said about print publishing as well. There are typesetting problems, there’s a change in editors as one leaves, or the writers just don’t write up to the expected standard.

Thus, good and bad writing, editing, and such can slip by anyone at any given time. There are many epublishers that have been around for quite a few years consistently providing high quality work.

Technology- It seems like every few years, we need to upgrade our electronic gadgets. If that’s the case and software is always changing and improving, what does that mean for the ebooks, ejournals, etcetera that are in an older format? Is technology that spawned the epublishing revolution, in fact, also be the cause of its demise?

The best way to look at this realistically is to do an example. Let’s say that we buy an ebook in a format compatible to our PDA at the time. A couple years down the road, our needs change, as does the software. What do you do?

Yet, before you pick up your CD, diskette, or wipe that hard drive, let’s delve a bit deeper. We go online to the PDA manufacturer to see what ebook reader formats are available. The variety of formats allows you to choose which one is best for you and the books you own. Then you pull out a CD or diskette of one of your ebooks and decide to see if it’ll work. When you put it in your computer and link up your reader, you’re asked which format you’d like to download into it. You had forgotten that on the disk there were the various formats there to accommodate your needs.

Still the doubts linger. What about those ebooks that only have download from their site capabilities? What can be done about those? Most reputable epublisher has a listing with your id number and what books you bought. When you log into your account, you notice that once again, you are able to redownload the book in the proper system. Granted, there will be some of your digital books that you might not be able to get in a new format if the company has gone out of business. Just remember, that print books do go out of print and get worn with repeated wear and tear. Print technology is also changing. Some things work better than others, but there still are issues, such as paper deteriorating, ink fading or running, and the book no longer being available for one reason or another.

Ever notice that you no longer have those bulky oversized manuals in how to play games or how to deal with problems that pop up with software or other electronic equipment? This is because most businesses create their manuals in PDF or rich text format in order to save space and paper. Most VCRs, DVDs, and other electronic equipment have on-screen programming, forcing you to read not from a paper, but a screen. What about text cellular phones? We read text messages from friends, not on the notebook paper or stationary, but off a screen. Many of us are somewhat computer literate since most of us type up our resumes, book reports, and etcetera. Do people say that your resume isn’t professional unless you have a professional printer do it for you? No, many of us type them up and print them out, following a basic set format that we were taught. This is true also with epublishing. Just because it’s a different medium, doesn’t mean that it had forgotten its roots in print publishing.
What this means is that there are going to be times when one medium will be preferable and more readily accessible than the other.

In this day of rapidly changing technology, the publishing industry has somewhat separated into two major arenas: print and electronic. Though print has been around for much longer, electronic format does make it easier in some ways for busy people. Instead of carrying a four hundred-page book, which weighs you down, you can download from one to many books onto your ebook reader and be able to switch over to another book if bored with the current one. Further, the weight is considerably less. Considering that most school-age children are forced to carry from ten to thirty pounds of books on their back not only to and from school, but between classes if they switch classes, we can see why academia is looking at less weighty, less expensive alternatives.

Let’s recap a bit and go a little into what it means for a writer in the epublishing world. Considering that there are some of the heavy hitters in the publishing business involved with epublishing, it behooves all writers to know what their electronic rights are as well as learning what royalties are given for sales if they're in electronic medium by their publisher. It’s always good to get it down in writing in a clear manner regarding publication rights- domestic, foreign, and all other media, including electronic.

An epublisher might establish themselves in ebook format due to their fresh style and stories, then when they're ready, make the move to offer print books. Ellora’s Cave is one such example of a company that started as an epublisher and now offers POD books as well for their customers. But it wasn't until there were compelling reasons that it was accomplished. It saves the company and the consumer money by not having overages as the books are either downloaded on demand or printed when demanded, thus reducing returns as well as over-printings. If you ever doubt there are many fans of ebooks, you can go to the Yahoo groups and type in various key words for epublishing and ebook to see for yourself how large an audience is there. On one ebook loop alone there are over 500 people who read electronic print. In fact, there are some epublishers who want to remain only in ebook format—such as Loose Id LLC.

Electronic publishing is a great medium for writers who don’t quite fit into any particular genre. Because epublishing is still new, they are the trendsetters for the industry in many ways. They cater to the demands of their readers because if they don’t, then their business fails. This means that a writer might be able to sell a work that might be considered too unique and unusual for regular, established print publisher to an epublisher with fantastic results. A good example is the paranormal romance upsurge. The ebook publishers were catering to the reader demand, thus forcing the traditional publishing houses to find openings for paranormal romance where for many years, they would’ve turned it down. Erotic romance is another arena where electronic publishers caught onto the wishes of readers and gave them what was asked for. A creative writer can almost carve their own special niche within the epublishing and genre realms with a well-crafted, unique story that captures the interest of the many ebook readers out there.

In the realm of royalties, how do epublishers stack up against the print publishers? This is where it becomes a bit unusual. Print publishers often give their writers an advance that’s usually applied against royalties. Most print authors make their money on the advance with little on the back end of the royalties over the agreed amount of time. An epublished author usually makes a higher percentage on each book, but doesn’t receive an advance. Many e-authors generate a decent income from their writing. There are some print authors who also write for epublishers to supplement their income, as the returns can be higher, especially when they have a reader base.
So, epublishing is a true option for fiction writers as well as nonfiction writers.

The most important thing is to know your rights, find a quality, well-established epublisher, and to keep submitting in various places. Technology is changing the world and as it does, the print publishers are moving in the direction of offering their consumers books they want, in the format they desire. Electronic publishing is here to stay. It's a growing, thriving part of the publishing industry and anyone who doesn't find out more about it is actually working against themselves for their future. Ebooks will never replace print in total, however, one day you're going to walk into your local bookstore and see books offered in print, CD, disk for whatever way you choose to indulge your reading pleasure.


References:

http://www.newsjournalonline.com/NewsJournalOnline/Opinion/Columnists/247/03SceneTWEN011404.htm
http://www.palmpower.com/issuesprint/issue200206/ebook0602.html
http://books.guardian.co.uk/ebooks/story/0,11305,1133307,00.html
http://www.us.perfectbound.com/B89B0A8E-0F31-43CE-B563-814443E154CD/10/1/en/Default.htm
http://www.contentlinkinc.com
http://www.ebookyes.com/
http://www.twbookmark.com/ebooks/index.html
http://www.webscription.net/
http://us.penguingroup.com/static/html/us/ebooks/home.html
http://www.simonsays.com/content/index.cfm?sid=358


Here are some well-established, non-subsidy, royalty-paying epublishers (most of them are in the romance and/or fantasy genres):

Hard Shell Word Factory http://hardshell.com/
New Concepts Publishing http://www.newconceptspublishing.com
Awe-Struck E-Books http://www.awe-struck.net
C & M Online Media (Boson Books) http://www.cmonline.com/
Loose-id http://www.loose-id.net
Fictionwise, Inc. http://www.Fictionwise.com
Writer's Exchange E-Publishing http://ebooks.writers-exchange.com
Atlantic Bridge Publishing http://www.atlanticbridge.net/
Changeling Press http://www.changelingpress.com
Ellora's Cave Romantica E-Publishing http://www.ellorascave.com
Zuymaya Publications Ltd. http://www.zumayapublications.com/
CrowsNest Ebook Publishing http://www.computercrowsnest.com/greennebula/bkindex.htm
Alexandria Digital Literature http://www.alexlit.com
Aspen Mountain Press http://www.aspenmountainpress.com

EPIC is the Electronic Published Internet Connection for authors, publishers and writers who work in and promote electronic publishing. http://www.epicauthors.com

Organization for Messy Writers

Supplies needed: folders, sticky notes, paper, stapler, paperclip, marker, and pens



I believe in being organized. When I’m organized and things are neat, there’s a rush. My neatly organized desk, my notes in place, and everything being in place are my reality- not! I’ve got a teen living here and my baby nephew thinks his auntie’s computer is fun. Reality is that for most of us, we don’t have the time, energy, or for some of us- the skill of being organized in our writing and research.

I’m the Organization Fairy. Laugh if you will, but this is a tried and true technique that works for my online critique group as well as me. It’s a simple way to not only keep track of your research for your books, but also to be able to make editing easier. First things first, I need you to set aside about an hour to set it up. The upkeep is minimal. I kid you not.

Using your marker, write the title of your book on the folder. Open up the folder and on the left hand side; write the start date of your book. I also write the main characters names underneath. Once you’ve done that, we get ready for the hard part. Whether you’re a plotter or a pantster, or even a combination thereof, we all know about our characters and the basic story/synopsis of the book. What I do is take one page each and jot down the pertinent details about the main characters. This includes height, build description, hair, eyes, and the little things that are important for knowing your characters inside and out. One sheet of paper per character is how I normally allot to them. Feeling the power of knowing my characters and the flow of the story, I grab more paper and jot down the framework of the book.

For those who are pantsters—do not panic! I’m not making you write your whole story and box yourself in. What this is taking that synopsis or blurb and spreading it over a few pages while making sure to leave empty spaces so I can put in details later. This also gives you play space. For pantsters, it means you’ve got so much room to maneuver. For plotters, it’ll help organize details. After you’re done spreading the synopsis/blurb out over a few pages, you staple the character sheets and the story to the folder. Once this is done, congratulate yourself. You’ve finished the hardest part of organizing your things.

Now, if you’re like me, you find yourself researching things as you’re writing or you might have a specific research day. Most of us jot down the notes on sticky pads. We might have the URLs also jotted down. During the week, I’ll make notes, jot down ideas, or things will come up with the story and they’re all on the sticky pads, pieces of paper, or on my computer. At the end of each day, those notes get tossed into that folder. That’s all you have to do. Toss them in the folder, refer as you need it, and it’s there. Then what do you do?

At the end of the week, or whenever you’ve got time, you take the notes and staple or tape them where they fit in the story. No, you don’t have to write those notes in nicely. You don’t have to copy those notes over. This is the lazy way of being organized. Staple the paper where it belongs. Make sure you have the URLs on a sheet, so you can avail of them again if need be.

As you write the notes, jot down changes, or revelations on your characters come up, you place them on the correct page. When you’re done writing your book, you write down the date you completed it and sit back. First, pat yourself on the back. Your first draft is finished and you deserve to be proud. Now, you’re already thinking about the editing and revising process. How will you know where to look for things that might have bugged you? Where is there a quick reference to know how certain thoughts and ideas came from? Aha! You’ve got your handy folder with the story right there. It’s got each section that helped create and build your story. All your references are there, you’ve got your GMC (Goals, Motivations, and Conflicts) in all its various stages there, and you have all your changes.

This sounds simple, perhaps too simple, but for someone who has a tendency to like inertia, it’s great. A body at rest stays at rest while a body in motion remains in motion. This means that once you do this, it becomes a regular routine. It doesn’t take inordinate amounts of time and if the system works for you, that’s all that matters. Remember that organization doesn’t have to mean a rigid system. It means that you have the freedom to be you, take care of the kids, have a life, and still keep your writing organized. In the whirlwind if life, at least your writing can’t be lost by your kids, your nephews, or everyday life.

Too Much Push for Erotica Romance By Publishers?

Lately, I've seen a trend for editors from print and epublishing asking for hotter and more erotic books. Now, for me, I write pretty hot, though at times, I can be fairly tame, depending on the story in question. But it's been something that have authors who don't write erotica-styled romance-- is there too much of a push for hotter romance?

Erotica romance-- the new big thing. Lately, the news has been commenting on the trend in print publishing of pushing the sexual boundaries in books now-- and there are new imprints that show that aspect in romance writing. Some authors feel that if they don't write hotter, that they won't get the sales. This might be true, but they have to remember something-- this is a trend. In time, trends change and shift with the demands of the reading public.

When I first got into ebooks, I was reading erotica styled romance nonstop. Why? It was new, it was exciting, and I was so damn happy to have books with plot that had sex like I know sex can be. Yes, there were HEA (Happily Ever After), but for once, I had books as kinky as they could be and unique storylines. But after a while, I noticed that a lot of the books didn't have good solid plots anymore-- just hot sex. So once again, I was hunting for books with hot sex and solid plotlines.

But Cyn, what does that have to do with why editors are pushing for the hotter than hot stuff?

Cycles. Remember when paranormal wasn't the big thing? Then suddenly it was and now we seem to be hitting certain limits within various areas of paranormal that are overdone. Cyclic-- been there, done that, will do it again sometime in the future. This means that the consumers are demanding hotter, kinkier books and wanting them to be considered mainstream. That means print publishers are grabbing at them-- including epublished authors who have been writing them for years. However, remember, as all cycles end, this too shall pass. Though I doubt it'll ever go away. Being adult about sex and sexuality means learning to accept that some people prefer hot, kinky sex with one person or more than one. I'm glad to see the erotic stuff hit mainstream and find acceptance, not to mention sales.

For all that erotica romance is selling, the one thing that will kill the trend faster than anything is bad plot. Ask people who used to read erotica romance why they stopped and you'll hear a few phrases repeated over and again. "The sex is all the same." "There's no plot to the story." "I don't find myself caring for the characters." "I'm skipping the sex to find the interesting parts of the story." Those are just some of the comments I've heard and said about some erotica romances I've read over the years and currently.

Do I think that erotica romance will be the leader in selling romance books-- not always. Some people will read nothing that is hot. There is a big market for Inspirational romance. Plus, we've seen people look for good quality romance without the kinks and other erotic tendencies. What does this mean? It means erotica romance has a place in the future of romance. It's not going away, but in time-- the demand will lessen and the only requirement editors are going to have is that your book has a solid plot that showcases the characters and the HEA-- regardless of the sensuality level.

I write both erotica romance and your regular hot romance. Well, actually I write women's action/adventure fiction with erotic romance elements. But I'm enjoying this renaissance as it has me digging out my Victorian erotica books as well as pulling out some of my favourite ebooks. In the end-- what matters most to people is that the story has a damn good plot and reason for the sex. If that's there-- then it will sell. Heat rises and falls depending on the market.

So have heart-- if you don't write erotica style, don't unless you want to. Keep writing solid books, increase the type of sensuality you have--- bring it to the fore and you might just surprise yourself on how readers receive your books. In time, the call will be for the less hot-- so let the erotica romance authors have their time-- it's been a long time in coming. Soon, it'll be your turn once again.

Friday, June 23, 2006

Rant-- 411 Directory Assistance

I know many of you are rubbing your hands in glee at the title-- but trust me-- I'm not going to be bitching about the operators. I am one. But I am going to bitch about people who call and act as if they know everything. I've come to the conclusion that people are getting ruder and dumber each day. *sigh*


1. Directory Assistance provides many things-- phone numbers, addresses, movie listings/showtimes, and sometimes, depending on the service-- driving directions. We do not answer who is the author of a song, nor do we know which is the highest mountain or the sports scores. There are other places for that.

2. How stupid are you to not get your driving directions BEFORE you leave the house? Seriously. Getting phone calls from people who have no clue where a place is and waiting until they're on the road to get directions reminds me of an episode of Jaywalk-- and I can't just turn the channel. I can see if you go wrong or if there are detours calling, but otherwise-- do your homework before leaving the house. And if you KNOW that you're less than a mile away but not sure if you turn left or right...do not call. You're wasting money because you're too lazy to try both ways.

3. If the cellphone is your only phone-- WHY? You do realize you have reception problems when you travel and move and you can't always get the call you're waiting for--and you don't get a phone book. Don't blame me or your service for dropped calls because YOU can't stay still and make one simple phone call.

4. How many of you are breaking state laws by driving and using the cell phone? 'Nuff said on that point.

5. I'm not stupid, nor am I the one with hearing problems. You're the one outside with interference-- I'm in a room with other operators a good distance away from me so our voices don't overlap too much. So if I don't hear you-- you've got background noise. Fix it. Find a quiet place. If you're upset because I can't hear your request and you're in the middle of a dance club-- I'm not at fault. Think on that for a moment.

6. Why does the automated system not work? Well-- if you actually FOLLOWED the directions and spoke clearly-- it just might. But when you actually say the words, "City and State" instead of saying the city and state you're wanting the number in...do I really need to explain why it doesn't work?

7. Voice activated system. This means that it works on hearing you or anyone behind you speak. So if you're having the number read to you and you're speaking to your SO giving them the phone number--- you're putting the voice activated system into motion. Think on that before you whinge to me that you didn't get the number read to you. It's not the computer's fault. And as for playing the radio loud while having the number read to you--- *shakes head* You get the picture.

8. If I'm ever as rude to you as you are to me-- you'd ask for my supervisor and report me. Do me a favour-- be nice and I'll be nice back, even more so than usual because it's VERY RARE to have an hour where I've not dealt with a rude, crude, socially unacceptable idiot who demands things and has the nerve to call me names. You get two warnings then I hang up on you. That's it. Get over yourself.

9. I can only give you what you give me. If you don't know how to spell the name of the business or your best friend (and not knowing their last name-- and they're best friends-- that's just stupid on your part), then how the hell do you expect me to find the damn listing? You are responsible as a customer to know SOMETHING. I'm not a mind-reader, nor am I the spellchecker for your universe. You want the right number-- learn to spell it and use the legal name of the business not just the name that "everyone calls it by that."

10. Not all listings are listed. That is the BUSINESS and the PERSON'S prerogative. Why? Because sometimes the businesses don't want you to call- they want you to come down. Othertimes they don't want to pay to be listed. Same with people--- some people don't want the general public to find them. If you're really a friend-- you'd have the number already. Deal with it.

11. Directory Assistance does NOT owe you a credit if the company doesn't pick up the phone or if it's busy. You are not the only person in the universe-- get over yourself. The phones were busy before you had a cell phone, they're still going to be busy even now that you do. And sometimes the people running the store are helping customers who are IN the store...they don't have to drop everything to run to take care of you.

12. Do not call if you're standing right outside of the store. I can't tell you how many times I've had to deal with people who do that. You want something inside the store and you're there-- get off your ass and go inside. If you're that close, go in. Why call and pay good money that you bitch about having to spend? (And yes-- for those of you who think this can't be real-- about 2% of my calls are like this.)

13. If you're calling for the police or something else-- I do NOT want to hear about it. I just want to know-- emergency or non-emergency. Why? Because if you had to wait for me to pick up your call while listening to someone else tell me why they're calling....and you bitch--- then don't be guilty of the same thing. Just a thought.


Now that I've finally ranted on this-- I'm feeling better. Until people bitch about my bitching about this.

Friday, June 02, 2006

How to Critique for Others and Yourself

One of the things that often come up by new writers, or even some who are finally submitting and get back a rejection is--- how can Ifind someone to critique or edit my work before I submit it to publishers? How can I make sure that when I check my work, or a friends-- it's the best it can be? These are good questions as finding solid critique partners is hard. Not everyone sees things in the same way, nor should they-- as we all are aware of different things in stories. But what if you have a CP (critique partner) and you're finding that they're not catching the same things they used to? What can you do?

First, let's talk about what it means to critique. Not everyone agrees. Some people think it means to read over it, catch glaring plot inaccuracies, misspelled words, awkward sentences, and other similar things. That's true, but it's also important to remember that you're there to catch bad writing habits that an author has, so they can fix them. You're now wondering about the time it takes to do a thorough critique. Remember-- not everyone asks for a thorough critique of their work-- they effectively tell you what they need you to concentrate on and ignore the rest, which is fine to do. Does this mean that if you're critting someone that you must be nice, polite, and gentle, or does it mean that you can rip them to shreds for every mistake? Actually it's both. Let's look at some things to remember when you're critiquing for another person and points to pick up.

What does a good crit consist of? Pointing out plot errors on a smaller level (a scene, each chapter) and on the larger scale (several chapters and through the entire book). This means if you notice something that is important suddenly pop up and it's something that should've been seen or at least casually noted before-- that's a plot inconsistency. If you see where there's a reaction and no discernable action to cause it-- that's an inconsistency. You notice that certain things can't be done due to realistic positioning and the lack of full description-- you note it-- it's a plot inconsistency as well as an unrealistic movement. Letting it ride because it sounds cool won't happen with a publisher's editor. So, if you want to help your fellow CP, tell them what's unrealistic so they can make it right-- thus impressing the editor with solid knowledge on how a complicated set of actions are done realistically.

Grammar is very important, though not as important as you think. Minor grammatical errors are expected by most editors. It's part and parcel of being in the moment as you write. CPs are there to catch items like passive sentences, awkward phrasings, run-on sentences, even words that don't fit the action or description. There are a couple of items that I've seen as both a freelance editor and as a CP that others do miss-- these are things that people have to "hear" to pick up on. Sentence structure. If a paragraph has many sentences starting with the same noun/pronoun meaning-- that paragraph reads passively. An overuse of "as" "but" "yet" "while" "then". It happens with these words, you can't avoid use of them many times, however, you can find other ways of phrasing your sentences that'll reduce the use of them. As critiquers-- your job is it point them out.

Let's see a couple of examples of writing where we can pick out the errors. Then we'll see if you saw what I did. Then we'll discuss one important thing that critiquers MUST learn how to do, especially if they crit the same people over and over. But first, let's do a couple of examples.

Cylene smiled as they walked out to the backyard. Cylene loved her backyard. On one acre of land, she had built a reflection pond in the heart of a maze at the back of her home. Darin, an architect, and a landscape genius helped make her dream a reality when she asked him to help her. She looked up at the Chinese lanterns that dotted along the outskirts of the maze and highlighted the area in a soft romantic light. She loved how the lanterns reflected the light from the stars in the sky.

What problems do you see in this paragraph? What would you recommend for fixing? What word choices would you suggest using instead of others? Do you find this paragraph active or passive overall? Are there any verbs that you'd replace? Why? Do you notice anything else that either stops the action or forces you to reread it to understand it? Mark all of those things. Now, let's look at a revised version.

Cylene smiled happily while they walked towards her specially designed backyard. On the one acre of land sitting behind her home, she envisioned a labyrinth with a reflecting pool as the crowning centerpiece. Darin, a landscape architect and good friend, transformed the dream into reality with his patented genius, for giving her and her friends a beautiful meditation aid. Gesturing towards the crimson Chinese lanterns that were carefully placed around the labyrinth to create a romantic atmosphere, she asked her companion, "What do you think of my favourite sanctuary?"

What problems do you see in this paragraph? What would you recommend for fixing? What word choices would you suggest using instead of others? Do you find this paragraph active or passive overall? Are there any verbs that you'd replace? Why? Do you notice anything else that either stops the action or forces you to reread it to understand it? Once you've answered those questions....let's talk about what makes the second paragraph better than the first.

The first paragraph was very amateur and basic. In fact, there are repetitive sentence structures throughout it. Notice how many times the sentences either had "Cylene", "She", or "Her". The best way to know if you're using too much of the sentence structure is this--- if you have six sentences and more than 2 are starting the same way-- you've got repetition problems. Now, read the original paragraph aloud. What do you notice about it? The way its worded, it sounds as if you're telling a story to another person. "Did you hear about so-and-so? He said......He then went.....Darin couldn't believe it....His coat...." That's passive writing. Those sentences are all telling what's happening, not showing when you look at them as a whole. If you're an author-- you want these pointed out. If you're critting for another writer-- if you want to really help them-- you point this out because editors will nail them for repetitive use.

Notice verbs in the first paragraph-- they're normal verbs, that convey the basic sense of action. However, they don't do anything to layer the scene with the senses. Do you see at least two senses per scene? Do you feel that the environment is alive in the scene, an active part of what's happening? Or do you feel like you're dealing with Talking Head Syndrome? What's THS? We'll cover this in the next critique lesson.

By offering other choices, or even rewording a sentence for the author to show them how to make it more active-- you help the writer to see how to fix their own writing. Any author who tells you that making any kind of changes to their words is changing their voice --- doesn't know what voice is. Tightening a sentence, using the components in that sentence isn't changing voice, it's helping to strengthen a story. If you, as a writer, can't handle people changing a couple of words or phrases to help show how to make things better-- you need to ask yourself if you're cut out to be a professional writer. Editors change words all the time--- and they don't have to ask your permission for it if you've violated the laws by using Passive, Repetitive, and Boring. If your voice allows those things in-- then you need to find a better voice as that one won't sell.

Critting is used to make your voice better-- by showing you how to make your style and voice sing with active, senses loaded sentences and plotlines. Suggestions are just that-- suggestions, but you must learn that critiques aren't there to pander to you, but to help you strengthen your weakness and to engage your strengths.

Now we come to one of the most IMPORTANT points in critting for someone. Especially if you've critiqued for this person for a while. It happens to the best of us, but it can fought and rejected. What point am I talking about? It's--- They Mean This--- syndrome. When you know what an author means, but you're not seeing what's said-- you're dooming the author to getting loads of revisions from editors. What do I mean by this? When you know what an author meant in parts of their writing, and it's vague and you don't remind them to clarify things-- you're perpetuating a crime that editors hate. The editor will say..."This is what this says....change it." The author will say..."But what I meant is this..." Unfortunately-- the author will not win this one. Ever. You might know the writing style of your CP enough that you unconsciously adjust the meanings to what's written, thus never pointing out they need to fix that part of a story.

When you're critiquing another person....one you know well...you MUST MUST MUST guard against this. You don't help the writer if you mentally change what's there to what's meant. The readers don't know the author's intentions as they don't personally know the author-- that means if it's NOT clear by what's SAID...then what's MEANT doesn't mean shit. They must clarify to make what's said match what's meant. Please-- if you have any love for your critique partners-- do NOT let them get away with "This is what I meant.." Make sure you guard yourself against falling into that fatal trap-- it might be the reason your manuscript is rejected.

Your first homework exercise--- take out something you wrote a while ago and haven't looked at recently. Go through the first three paragraphs and try to see what errors you find by using some of these techniques.


Steps of Critiquing

What are the steps to doing a good solid critique? We've talked about things to look for, but how can you give a good crit without committing hours upon hours of time going through a complete manuscript? How can you be a solid, yet streamlined critique partner? There are some techniques I use when I crit, but I allow the fact that a crit is not as indepth as an edit and some things should be apparent after pointing it out the first ten times to an author-- they should be able to go through their manuscript and fix the rest of those errors. So, let's make a checklist of the major points to look for when critiquing for someone else.

·Passive sentences. The dreaded words of "was" "were" "had" "having" Any form of "to be" needs to be checked for. Any verbs ending in "-ing" need to be checked for passiveness. (Though remember-- they're not passive within themselves, only used in conjunction with those evil "to be" verbs.)

·Repetitive sentence structure. Do you see sentences starting the same way in one paragraph? What about in consecutive paragraphs? If every other sentence starts "She was" "She thought" "Heroine moved" or "Her arm twitched"...then you're looking at repetitive sentences.

·Problems with Action-Reaction. Do you see the response to something before it happens? Do you have to pause and reread the sentence to figure out what action is missing or if it follow the reaction? Note this to the author-- it means that they're putting the Reaction first...thus ruining the logical sequence of the story.

·Anything that makes you reread a paragraph. If you find yourself going, "Huh?" Reread it and note to the author where you had to reread and ask for clarification there because otherwise it'll frustrate the readers too.

·Gaping plot holes. Do you see where they're doing one thing, only a few pages later, they're doing something totally opposite with no reason given? Point it out.

·Problematic words that slow down pacing and are overused. "As" "then" "but" "yet" "while"

·POV (Point of View) issues. Anytime you see the POV change from one character to another without proper transitioning, scene breaks, or where a sentence is in another POV in the middle of the main POV-- note it. It's got to be fixed.

·Make sure you don't fall into the "What's Meant over what's Said" trap. Point out what's said and how it doesn't match what's meant. It needs to be fixed.

·THS-- Talking Head Syndrome. This is a biggie to note, and I saved this until last because it's the hardest to deal with for both the author and the CP.

What is THS? Talking Head Syndrome is where you have dialog with no tags, no action-- basically nothing that shows you what's happening while the dialogue exchange is quick paced. Let me give you an example of THS, so you can see it in action.

"You're an idiot for agreeing to see him."
"Am not!"
"Are too. Do you think he doesn't realize what's happening here?"
"He doesn't care and neither do you."
"I care, but there's not a damn thing I can do!"
"Of course not, why get involved when it means it might cost you something."


Notice the exchange-- it's fast and furious with tons of sarcasm tossed in.....or is it? How can the words alone tell you tone of voice? More importantly--- there's action. All you have are two talking heads yapping at each other. There are no senses used to convey emotions or anything to give us a clue as to how important this is. Now, lets look at a new version.

"You're an idiot for agreeing to see him." His fist slammed on the desk, toppling two picture frames. She flinched at the noise.
"Am not!" Charlee couldn't believe that he was being so arrogant. She knew Andre and the risk was worth it if she recovered the diamond. How could Dax think that she hadn't taken all precautions on protecting them?
"Are too. Do you think he doesn't realize what's happening here?" The look on his face was pure rage. Even after all this time, she realized, Dax had never found out the truth about that night with Andre. Did she dare correct him? "He's an asshole who would love to see this fail!"
"He doesn't care and neither do you. Andre doesn't know what we do, Dax." Rubbing her temples with her fingertips, she tried to prevent the throbbing in her head from growing into something more. She was tired of their posturing bullshit, but she needed that diamond back. These two men were the only ones who could help her-- if they just would stop hating each other.
"I care, but there's not a damn thing I can do!" His hand shot out, grabbing her arm, distracting her from the tension headache building up. She glanced up, catching a look of something-- anguish?- in his chocolate brown eyes. Anguish or not, she couldn't give in; there was too much at stake, more than she'd ever admit to. But how to get Dax to help?
"Of course not, why get involved when it means it might cost you something." The only warning she had was the tightening of his hand on her arm and the low, menacing growl.


See the difference? There's action, emotional responses and a layering of senses. You feel what's happening and hear the emotions. This is what readers want-- a deep, complex book that comes alive in their minds. You as the CP need to mention that while the author wants a quick, snappy pace-- the reader will need a bit more information and action to keep the scene in their mind and not have visions of floating heads talking. Morgan Hawke has some wonderful articles with the craft of writing and can be found at www.darkerotica.blogspot.com


This is just a small list that I use when I do a crit for someone. I don't go looking for everything wrong with a book, but I do keep watch for certain common problems that crop up. An editor goes deeper in the story, finding tiny inconsistencies, checking on facts, and highlighting ever grammar issue known to man. But if you can see and bring attention to the major things-- the story will be stronger for it. The author might not want to thank you at first for being a solid CP who does their job...but in the long run, you've done what they can't do-- see their work in a clear, unbiased light.

Being a critique partner isn't easy and sometimes people who are new to writing don't have the skills. But by following these basic steps, you'll begin to see how to critique better for others as well as yourself.