Thursday, December 27, 2007

Life sucks though sometimes it's me

Well, I've been sick. In fact, if I'm honest, I'm sick again. Gods I hope the wrong people who shouldn't read this don't see this admission-- they'll commit acts of violence on me. But it's true. My already compromised immune system is having issues again and my sinuses are starting the mamba along with the intermittent fever. My stress is higher than ever and honestly-- I'm remembering why the hell I hibernate after Samhain. *Makes note to start that hibernation practice so I can avoid stress*

On the plus side, I can say this-- I had a great Christmas/Yule. Seriously. No family, just the male in my life. Granted, I slightly freaked out on him Christmas Eve into early morning Christmas Day, but it's because I'm that kind of gal. Things go right, things feel fantastic....and I flip out, especially with my personal insecurities as they are. How bad? Let's say this-- we talked about part of them last night for 4 hours and still...I haven't told him everything. Don't think I will. Some things...some things can't be said-- not because of lack of trust but because I can't handle rejection nor the lovely phrase, "You're a great person..." I just can't.

That said, I've come to a realization. I need the cool computer pen for kids from Leap Frog Technologies. The Fly Paper pen and paper is SOOOOO something I need. I handwrite a lot when I'm at work on break, and I hate, despise, cannot deal with having to type everything up. As in-- I would rather PAY someone to do it then do it myself. (In fact, I have over 80 pages I need typed up and I'm thinking-- yeah, I just might pay someone to do it because I NEED it on the computer. *sigh*) This pen computer and the specialized notebooks are on Amazon.com and they're awesome. It converts handwriting to digitized text and saves as a text file. Which means I can go into it once I download it on the computer and do edits directly that way and NOT have to retype EVERYTHING. How freaking cool is that? So....time to save up for the pen, the notebooks (I want at least 4 of them), the extra memory, and the extra pen ink refills. Overall, it'll run about $150 for all of that, not including tax and shipping-- but considering it means my productivity will increase tremendously-- I'm all for it.

Back to the crap that is me. People in my life have an issue-- I don't take care of myself. Yup, go figure that one out. I don't think about myself-- at least not on an active level unless I get sick, but I don't deliberately not do for myself-- I just.....forget. Worse, the absent-minded professor syndrome is alive and well in my daily life. Besides the computer pen, I need a PDA so I can keep better track of things. Hell, let's be full blown honest here-- I NEED a keeper. Someone who will remind me to take care of myself when I don't and helps me keep my life in order. Funny thing is-- I can do that for others, but for myself-- it's one of those things that gets sidetracked because I have everyone else to worry over. So, it's one reason my being sick ain't going to go over well. *sigh* It's not going to be pretty, but oh well, life goes on...and on....and hopefully, one day they'll get it-- get me a keeper and this won't happen as much.

Most people know by now that my lupus is active again. I'm unhappy about the issue, but there isn't much I can do about it except take my medication, try not to overdo anything and try to keep a sane schedule as much as possible. It's not always doable, but I can try. Of course, me forgetting to take my meds a couple times a week is NOT good, but again, see the above paragraph. I forget. It happens. I'm blonde and am getting older-- it's not easy carrying around the knowledge I have and not getting lost within it. So there! But I'm trying to keep somewhat active and try my best not to let it get the best of me. I'm considering taking FMLA for a bit to try to get better, but we'll see. I need something to get me out of this sick mess I'm still in for the past 2 months.

Right now, besides writing this blog, I'm working on a short story idea that came to me. It's definitely erotic and I'm not sure whether or not it'll go anywhere-- but honestly, I'm loving it. Why? It's different and it's definitely boundary pushing in my world...any story that starts with "Beg." has my interest. LOLOL

That said-- OMG...I have to make some serious suggestions for reading material-- one Joey Hill. If you haven't read her-- do so. I love her Zone series at Ellora's Cave but her new book, The Vampire Queen's Servant- OMG get this book ASAP. Seriously, it's not for the squeamish and those who don't want to push themselves sexually--but it is definitely a read to make you think and consider.

Also-- get Cheyenne McCray's Magic series. I've finally read the most recent book and let me tell you, I'm eagerly waiting the next installment. She also writes for Ellora's Cave and her Wonderland series is one of my ultimate favourite series. *grins*

Tuesday, October 30, 2007

Back and Sven again-- and a Release!


Gods, it's been awful. I've done only about 3k in the past week. Bad bad bad. Why? I've had a bad time at the day job and I've been beyond exhausted at night. On top of that-- I've had some emotional issues and my computer is acting up. I need to replace the keyboard on the laptop ASAP! It's not a good thing!

That said-- I've got a new release out at Loose Id! That's right, my newest book (which is actually an expanded version of an old book) Treaty of Desire is out! YAY!!! I'm so glad it's out that I'm doing the happy happy dance! Treaty of Desire was the first ever erotic paranormal story I've ever written. It was hot enough that I was worried about me being a bit flowery and such. Little did I know that it was the beginning of letting part of my true self out to play. LMAO I'm so proud of the damn book--especially with the additions I put into the storyline. So, I'm going to have a contest starting November 5th. *grins* You'll have to check my website and here to learn more about it.

YAY for my release, yay for my writing getting back on target now my migraine is gone and YAY for Sinjin. Why? Because he so does deserve it. He let me drive him a bit nuts erotically recently. *grins* He didn't panic-- what a good man.

Sunday, October 21, 2007

Frustration-- Or Why Cyn Gets Cranky

Yup, I'm cranky. I've got to work today, Bobby Flay is two towns over for one day only and I've got my period something fierce. Feeling crappy, I don't want to work, I want to sleep. Have I written? Only 1k all weekend but then again, I've slept like crap since Friday and I'm ready to commit acts of violence on family members. Worse, if I say anything-- I'll get the whole "You don't understand. You're only seeing what you want to see" shite. Problem is...others have said stuff it's not just me.

I so need to win Lotto. LOL I need a change of pace and time. So, today, I can count a total of 1.2k but here's hoping the rest of today goes better. If not, I'll be writing most of Monday, my only day off this week while getting everything else done. Gods, my day job needs to stop this crap right now and get normal. But then again-- it seems like management is going out of its way to get the office closed...so why should I be surprised on things? *sigh*

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Write Time Assignment-- Me and Sven made good

Well, I got the time to write the assignment for my Write Time workshop. The funny thing is-- it's a scene that is upcoming in my story, Making of a Man. It's not for a while yet, and while I am a major linear writer-- occasionally I do enjoy doing a scene out of sequence. In this case, in 20 minutes I managed to write over 1k. Even better-- it's so going to set up the original scene I had seen in my head for the story. *grins* My happiness abounds something fierce. So Sven is happy, Cyn is happy, and the crew who want MORE of MOAM will be happy. Why? Because for the first time since the original scene-- I typed it on my computer. That's right-- I didn't handwrite the damn thing. YAY!!! I still need to transcribe and edit the 29 pages of handwritten stuff for MOAM, but right now, I'm celebrating this accomplishment. Plus this 20 minutes FLEW by. Candace Haven is doing something right for me-- but I'm not quite sure what just yet!

So today's total--- 1,222 words

Hoping to Sven

Today is a bad day. I'm hoping to Sven when my family goes to bed, but the cramps are hurting something bad. I soaked last night in the tub and it eased the pain, but today....today ain't a great day. *sigh* But I'll keep trying to get something, anything written today. Perhaps I'll open edits to be done instead. We'll see.

Hmm, perhaps a snippet of things would help some stuff. I've got some stories I don't have finished that I'm debating on finishing or not. Plus, I have a Day 2 exercise to accomplish for the Write Time workshop- I must write nonstop for 20 minutes on anything fiction. So, I'm hoping that once my meds kick in, it might help me write a bit. Gods, I don't know what's wrong with me--but I'm betting the early menopause is kicking in. Stupid menopause.

Beat up on Sinjin today. I have to admit to some happiness in that regard. He picked on me, I got even. Hmmrrrppphhh!

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

Sveating with Svegali

Just checking in so far with my writing. I've done 2k. It's been tough because I've been really tired. So, I've only been writing at work on my breaks. But luckily I got my 1k each day so far. Granted it's handwritten, but at least it's writing. I need to take time to type, but I think I'm going early to bed tonight. I'm exhausted so bad I have a headache.

I'm also taking a 2 week workshop given at Earthly Charms-- Write Time by Candace Haven. She's talking about how to make the most of your time to write. I'm hoping between her and the Sven, I'll find myself finding techniques that'll get me feeling up to par and regularly writing each day. If you've never read Candace before, let me tell you-- you need to. Definitely. Her Charmed & Dangerous is absolutely spot on and funny as all get out. She's an inspiring author, so I'm thrilled to have her do this workshop.

Now to go pester a couple of people on the Sven list. Gots to make sure I share the lurve. hehehehe

Saturday, October 13, 2007

Sneak Peek- Making of a Man

This is a new story I've been working on. It's definitely not my usual fare, but on the other hand-- yeah it is. Here's the blurb-- Sinjin Roberts is a man's man, with a secret-- he's a high level submissive. For a man like him, it takes a special kind of woman to bring him to his knees to make him beg for release. What he doesn't expect is that his co-worker, Lynn Matthews is more than willing to take him on. What he discovers about her and himself will change how he thinks on the issues of love, romance, and friendship. For Sinjin is about to discover how much fun it is to be owned not just by Lynn, but also by her two sisters. This isn't just a romance, it's the Making of a Man.

Unedited, uncontracted excerpt:

Chapter One


Sinjin Roberts walked into the break room then grinned when he caught sight of Lynn Matthews. The woman was a pistol, definitely not afraid of being different, which made her well liked in the personnel department of Haverco—where they both worked. She was sitting in her usual spot in one corner of the room, her smooth legs crossed at the ankles while a huge grin lit up her face. She intrigued him by certain things she said and hinted at, but he hadn’t really pushed to find out more. But it had crossed his mind on more than one occasion while he worked on some marketing ideas for Haverco.

Her voice rang out with laughter. “Come on, Phil, you’ve got to admit that sex sells. Just because it was taken to that level doesn’t mean that it’s wrong.”

Sinjin laughed as he approached her table. “Yup, sex sells but what does that have to do with anything in this room today?”

Lynn looked up at him and grinned. “Good to see you, Sinjin. You missed the news though. Seems some guy got arrested for owning and running a sex club in the heart of Alabama. Phil here things that sex clubs are fiction and that kinky sex is in the mind of the person, not a real tangible thing.” She snorted slightly with the last comment, causing him to laugh again with her.

Phil interrupted their shared laughter. “Lynn, you’re a sweet woman, but you don’t know the first thing about hot, sexy, kinky sex. And those sex clubs are just another way of allowing the buying of sexual pleasures, nothing more.”

As Lynn leaned towards both men, Sinjin found himself leaning inwards to create a more intimate speaking environment around the table. Her voice was lower, but tinged with merriment. “Phil, you’d be dead wrong about what sex clubs are for, just as you’re wrong on me being unaware of kinky sex. I’m very kinky though I don’t flaunt it here at work. In fact, if I wanted to, I probably could get you to beg me to tie you up and fuck your ass until you came without my ever touching your genitals. I’m that damn good, but…you’re so not my type.”

He watched Phil’s jaw drop open as he laughed loudly to cover for his friend’s reaction. Unfuckingbelievable! Lynn had thrown her counterpart in personnel for a loop and he was the recipient of some seriously erotic thoughts at just how much she might be willing to dominate. Yet again Lynn amazed him with how open and unrestrained she truly was. Could she be someone I could trust with my secret? How can I be sure?

Lynn stood up suddenly, breaking off Sinjin’s thoughts. “I’ve got to head back to the office to handle the new applications that arrived. Sinjin, do me a favour and explain to our shocked friend on why kinky sex is a good thing for women as well as for men. It seems he needs a man to explain the basics to him.”

“I’ll do it if you promise me that one night we’ll go out and talk about this other side that none of us have ever seen before.” The words had slipped out before he could stop them. It was as if she had released his inner inhibitions with her own acknowledgement of her sexuality. “You can decide the where and when if it would make you feel better.” He caught the look of surprise then delight as her emotions played across her face.

“Sure, I’ll take you up on that offer right now. If you’re sure that you really want to get to know me, I’ll email you the time, place and address on where to meet me this Saturday night.” Lynn squeezed his shoulder as she gave him a sweet smile. “But be warned, if you’re not open to new things sexually or emotionally, you might find that my life outside of work a bit scary for you to handle.”
He squeezed her hand before letting it go. “I’m actually finding myself a bit eager to hear more. Who knows, you might be the one shocked on what I’m like outside of the office.”
She lifted a blonde brow. “I so can’t wait for Saturday. I’ll talk to you later, Sinjin.” She glanced back at their friend. “Phil, take your time to recover before you come back. I think this might take a bit of explaining.”

As Lynn left the break room, Sinjin found himself grinning at the idea of talking to Lynn outside of work. She might be just the thing to break this vanilla streak he was in. Turning back to his friend, he let out a small chuckle. “Phil, you obviously were never taught how to recognize a woman who isn’t just into vanilla sex before. Let’s start with the first giveaway…”

*****

Saturday

Sinjin checked the address from the email twice before driving up to the gated driveway. A voice from the intercom asked for his name. “I’m Sinjin Roberts. I’ve been invited to see Pleasures. It’s my first time here.”

“Welcome, sir. I hope you have a wonderful and mind opening time,” the tinny voice responded. “Pull in and take the first left to park in guest parking, sir.”

Obeying the voice, Sinjin pulled into the driveway as the gates slid open. Taking the first left, he could see the members’ lot was partially full. Noticing the make of the cars, he realized this out of the way renovated multi-story home had some patrons of all levels of society. Parking his vintage Camaro, Sinjin locked it up, and then made his way down the cobblestone path towards the front door. The house reminded him of those old Victorian styles, though he knew the building couldn’t be more than ten years old. The stained glass front door made him wonder just how much had gone into renovating the place into a top of the line fetish club.

Gathering up some courage, Sinjin placed his hand on the doorknob and found it unlocked. Opening it, he stepped through then shut the door behind him. As he turned around, he saw a curly haired brunette young woman approach him. Her pale ivory lace outfit outlined her every curve and the lace was thin enough that he could that she didn’t shave her mons.

“How may I help you, sir? This is a private, members only club.” Her voice was Southern tinted, but firm in tone.

“My name is Sinjin Roberts and Lynn Matthews invited me to join her here this evening.” He glanced around, spotting a pair of French doors down the hallway that seemed to lead to the main part of the house. “Do you know where she is?”

“Oh! Welcome to Pleasures, Sinjin. Lynn told me that you were to be expected. She’s in the main hall waiting for you. Please go through those doors and enjoy your time here in Pleasures. If you ever need anything, please don’t hesitate to ask me, Carryn or any of the other staff members.” She led him to the doors at the end of the hall and opened up one door.

“Thank you, Carryn. I have to admit, I had wondered about Pleasures for a while now. I hadn’t known that Lynn knew about this place.”

Carryn laughed. “She knows more than many, Sinjin. Enjoy your evening.” Then she wandered to the front door as it opened again. “Welcome to Pleasures. How may I help you?”

Sinjin left the young woman to her job and stepped through the door. As he did so, the door swung to close behind him. He stood still for a moment as the opulence of the main room, though drawing room would’ve been a more appropriate name for it. The vaulted ceiling drew his attention upward and he noticed the small walkway that lined the second story. Even the recessed lighting was hard to spot, but gave warmth to the room that was decorated in dark blues, gold and other jewel tones.

Gazing around, he took in the bar at the far right hand corner where people were gathered for drinks as well as the various couches, chairs, loveseats and giant throw pillows scattered in small groupings throughout the large room. He noticed some of women there were dressed in either period costumes, leather outfits, or other suggestive erotic outfits that played with his imagination. He felt his cock twitch at the women who reveled in their sexuality and wondered if perhaps he could afford a membership here if they catered to his own sexual needs.

Turning his head to the left, his breath caught in his chest as he caught sight of Lynn. She was wearing a sapphire blue toga style dress with her long wavy blonde hair hanging past her shoulders in a subtle, yet sexy style. He wondered if it felt as silky as it looked from this distance. Then he realized that on either side of her, were two women. One was blonde, though more golden than ash. She was shorter than Lynn, and wearing a tight black suede catsuit that left little to the imagination. Her high heeled boots caught his attention and he felt the need to readjust himself, but held back.

The other woman was a redhead and wearing a similar catsuit, though dark forest green in colour. The woman held something thin in her hand though he couldn’t quite make it out at first. Then the redhead brushed back Lynn’s hair and he realized that she wore a silver collar at her throat that had a line that the woman held. The woman handed the end of it to Lynn and said aloud, “Have a good time tonight, Lynn. Remember that we’re going to want a full report later on.”

The blonde spoke up too. “If you need us, you know how to reach us while we’re here.”
Lynn smiled before stepping before Sinjin. She kissed his cheek. “I’m glad you showed up. I wasn’t sure if you’d come to Pleasures or not. “

“The only way I wasn’t going to show up would be if I had gotten into a car accident on the way over.” He kissed her back on the cheek then stepped back to really look at her outfit. “You look—“

“Owned? Possessed? Or perhaps something exotic and mysterious?” Lynn teased as she took his hand. “Come with me, I’ll find us a place so we can talk privately.” She tugged his hand. “Follow me, now.”

He moved forward as the softly spoken command registered in his brain as such. Realizing that he reacted without thinking about it, he stopped in his tracks. Her light laughter surrounded him. “Oh, Sinjin, did you just realize what secret you gave away?”

“What made you suspect?” he asked as he followed her down one side hallway away from the main room.

Thursday, October 11, 2007

Sweating with Sven

That's right-- for those of you familiar with the challenge given by Allison Kent-- I'm officially in. I'm gonna sweat for Sven. I'm off for the next three days, and starting my six days a week working for the day job, but goddess bless, I WILL do this. 93 days of torture and hellacious writing. My goal is simple-- I've got a couple of stories that need to be finished and edited. I've got a story I desperately want to finish because it's pouring out of me-- though only handwritten. That said-- I'm not able to do Nano this year, but Sven....Sven can almost get me moving to the groove.

Who knows, this might just get me back on track. Wouldn't that be nice.

Monday, October 08, 2007

Don't Tell Me What You Think I Want to Hear

*sighs* This topic is being said because it needs to be. I like being needed but not because you think it's what I want to hear. What I want is truth. It hurts, it heals, but it doesn't hurt like finding out the words told are a lie. Maybe not a lie, but not the truth. What I want to hear isn't always what is needed.

We all want to hear good things, we all want people we care for to say things we like, but I'm one of those who want to hear the truth. Don't say something that makes me want to believe in those words. Especially when on some level, I want...need to believe in those words and meanings. But it's okay to qualify statements with "In this moment" or "At this time".

Ask yourself this-- if I told you only what I thought you wanted to hear, would you doubt my sincerity? Would you doubt my honesty? Would you believe in me? If I told you only the truth, would it make a difference? Would your belief in me be more complete? See the difference.

Honestly in love, business, and all things is always the better of the two. Caring for you takes some time, takes energy...but caring for me means that you be honest. Please.

Monday, October 01, 2007

Happiness Is....

Happiness is knowing that for the first time in years that my friends are at my side. Happiness is being in a heartmate's arms and feeling safe and loved. Happiness is finding the joy of writing once again. Happiness is laughing more because life has become bright and beautiful once more. Happiness is....taking risks and not giving a shit if you succeed or fail because it was the taking of the risk that brings the joy.

I'm waxing poetic tonight, but there are reasons. I entered the Brava contest this weekend and I'm waiting to see who all makes the cut. *whimpers* But beyond that, today, a not-so close, but knows me friend came to me and said, "You've not only lost weight, but dammit-- you're glowing again with happiness. What's up?"

I realized that he was right. I am happy. I was close to being miserable. Things happened a bit over a week ago and I was sure I was going to lose my heartmate. But, somehow, he trusted and believed in me and....he didn't leave me. I've been waiting, you know. He cares, but he has trouble defining what 'really really likes' means, and you know me--- I take the worst case scenario. It's a fault of mine.

We talk of everything and nothing. But in his arms, I know peace. He encourages me to play. To play-- how cool is that? I haven't played sexually in so long, I almost forgot how. Last night was one of those playtimes when you sit back and go "WOW!" Sinjin turned the tables on me, but what made it good was that I was able to not only enjoy myself, but in the midst of playing I was able to make points about him and I that we both need to learn and accept. But beyond that, I got to play hard, be pushy, and let the alpha side out a bit. Yet, if I'm completely honest-- there was a moment when I conceded to him. (I'd try to deny it, but it'd be a lie. Granted I could tell it like it was the truth, but he'd bitch loudly.)

He makes me play. He makes me relax. He makes me want to write and journal the experiences we have together. My soultwin knows just how happy he makes me. I'm finally able to admit it--- Heartmate, having you in my life makes me happy. Scared happy, but happy all the same. So there.

Damn the man. LOL

Sunday, September 30, 2007

I hate edits

I'm glad my editor and I have gotten things straighten out now that I've looked at my edits. First-- I will never ever have to change things that she could've changed and not leave messy evil comment boxes on. Second--I hate edits and would rather have to add sentences, revise, then have to deal with the grammar crap. That said-- I don't make many errors on grammar, but when I do-- they're damn good errors. LOLOLOL

How does this affect things? I have until Friday night to get this byotch whipped into shape. Those of you who remember the first Treaty of Desire-- the story is the same, but there's more richness and depth to this version. Plus, I also edited out a couple of things I didn't want to include much now. Though, those of you who remember in Bardic Tales, the story of Frelin and Micheal-- there will be a reference to some aspects of the Marauders in the story. (Hey! It's all in the family in my world!)

Just to let you know-- the dedication in this book are to people whom I love dearly and who mean the world to me. I didn't get to name everyone--so don't feel left out. Eventually, I'll have a page and a half for all my dedications or something. LMAO But a huge MUAH to Joanie and Eric. Eric introduced me to the original Frelin--and from there, it was only a race change while keeping his arrogance. LOL Thanks, Eric, for everything and thanks to Joanie for opening her arms to me when I needed it most.

Sinjin--you and I have much to discuss over time. But more than that--I owe you for healing me enough to write again. You've given me back something that means the world to me....my need to write. I was so lost without it, but I was so empty, so hurt, so numb. Then you came to me as friend, and now as heartmate and with you, Nik, and Shar....I am writing again. Hell, the new version of Making of a Man...I'm REALLY REALLY thrilled with it. It's not like anything I've ever written before, but something more. Something that's erotica, but mainstream, something that hits the soul, makes you weep, yet makes you yearn, it's the sum of many of my experiences, yet made of more that I've yet to do. But at its heart-- it's the making of a man-- a man who is hero, lover, fighter, and healer to those whom he loves and those who love him. Thank you.

Saturday, September 22, 2007

Debating on which blog to use....

I'm doing a debate-- which blog is the better blog for me. I admit-- the MySpace blog is easy to use and I'm on my damn page at least once a day, well, most days. But at the same time, I do like how this blog looks. I can prolly customize this one a bit to have a nice erotic yet timeless feel to it if I tried. Hmm, I do need to get myself ready for the New Year (I mean the Celtic one, not the Gregorian calendar one)...so perhaps I'll overhaul everything at once. Could make my life easier. LOL

So, I'm having a contest-- everyone who either emails me at cynnara AT cynnara DOT com (you know what to do) and votes for http://cynnara.blogspot.com, www.myspace.com/essencecyn, or http://cynnara.livejournal.com-- gets a chance to win one of my backlist as well as an ARC for my upcoming release-- Treaty of Desire.

Should be fun. We'll see how it goes. The question is though--what do you, the reader like to read on a blog-- just about writing, a mix of personal and writing, or whatever hits this unusual mind of mine? Let me know!

Monday, September 17, 2007

Fiction and Sexual Kink

Well, this should be interesting. I've spent the past couple of weeks doing some researching into some of my favourite topics--especially the history of sex, kinky sex, and what sells and what is lacking in the erotica area of my bookstores and online. What I've discovered has me on a mission. (Gods, now I feel like I'm quoting the Blues Brothers! LOLOL)

What is it that has me going full throttle? First-- thanks to a good friend, a story that needed telling is so being written. It's flowing and dammit, it's scary with how it's flowing. Second-- I just heard from an old author buddy of mine-- Sascha. Gods, I've missed this man. He was one of the few I could talk kinky sex and we'd have a serious (well MOSTLY serious) discussion on various aspects. Third-- I'm a bit annoyed with publishers of late. I make no secret of what I am and sometimes I'd like to read books that hit on the kink, but also manage to take a middle of the road approach. There seem to be very few-- and to me, it shows alienation of a majority of readers who might be convinced to give some kink a try in their lives.

What do I mean? Simple-- I'm a switch. This means I can either be dominate in the sexual relationship or the submissive, depending on the other person. Now, I do admit, I like being the submissive--it's easier and the satisfaction of making a dominant shudder at my pleasuring and at my obedience (or disobedience if I'm feeling a bit mischievous) is just a kicker and a half. But that said, I DO enjoy being the dominant occasionally. Who wouldn't love the idea of demanding what satisfies them and at the same time, breaking out restraints and other fun stuff? But in a lot of erotic romance literature-- you don't find anything about switches, much less fem dom. Yes, there are erotica sites that do have fem dom, but come on, even fem dommes need love too! Sheesh people! But hey, so do us switches.

I also enjoy reading about a submissive male and dom female in a relationship that has some twists and turns. Yes, that's right, I like reading about a submissive who learns that his/her dom has occasional fantasies of having the tables turned upon them. It's a trust thing, a power thing, it's a mind bending experience. But it doesn't have to be extreme. Many of the erotica books I read have close to extreme or where it's only the dominant (98% male usually) is in control.

First-- the dominant has a huge responsibility-- but he's so not in control. It's the submissive. Seriously- they call the shots on how much submission, how much domination, what is and is not acceptable. The dominant is then to work within these boundaries and though they might help push them back a bit, they do not cross past those areas. Second-- depending on if they live the lifestyle or choose it only in the bedroom-- will often define the type of dom/sub things done. Not everyone is into humiliation. Not everyone goes for the pain. Most of those who enjoy a good kink are often middle of the road.

Hell, for me, when I dominate, I can get tough, push limits, and even do some binding and whipping. But, that said, what I love doing most is denying. Yeah, that's right. Most submissives want to be told what to do, and what not to do. But when you deny them what they crave-- like touching the dominant, pleasuring her, etc....oh yeah, you can get them going and they'll agree to almost anything to get what they desire most-- to be fiercely loved and owned by their top. But give them a taste and deny them the rest-- yeah....I admit, there is something really erotic about hearing that begging tone in that way. It's not hardcore, but it's damn effective. How? Because eventually, the submissive will not only bring this desire unfilled to a higher level, but when you allow it to happen-- it's intense for both the dom and the sub. Again-- it's all in the trust and setting down the ground rules.

But I don't ever read this much in erotic literature. I really wish they'd show more variation within kinky sex. Why? Because we're not all of the same mold. We're individual and sometimes...just sometimes....we like it when things get turned upside down and the dominant becomes the submissive for once. *sigh*

Saturday, August 11, 2007

What Kind of Writer Are You?

I know that for some people, this seems a silly question. Yet, it’s not as easy as people think. It was this question and the answers that resulted in an epiphany for me. Do you know what you write? More importantly, when asked by other writers what you write, can you answer them honestly?

Me, I used to think I was just a romance writer. Then I discovered after some soul searching that I wasn’t. I was something different. The type of writer you are will actually influence your voice and style. Trying to fit into a genre you might not fit in can cause you grief as you struggle with why you seem to have trouble with flow or that editors reject it. Even those who have the best-laid writing goals with leeway can go awry when that happens. Or in my case, they crash upon you until you’re considering giving up writing. The proverbial light bulb went off when I read a recent article on the various categories for the romance genre decided by the Romance Writers of America (RWA www.rwanational.org). Reading the attributes of that category caused me to ask myself, “What kind of writer am I?”

How do you describe the genre you write? Can you tell me what major characteristics your writing voice has? If you’re looking at the fiction writing market, can you give me an example of other authors in your field? Do you know where your voice is strongest when you write a story? What recurring elements seem to come up in your writing?

These were a few of the questions I asked myself when I felt like I had come to a standstill. You’d think I’d have been riding high as I had sold my first book, had a nice contract with the publisher for a couple more. Yet, for all that success, I felt like I was adrift in my writing. For the first time in my life, I had no idea if I could write anything of value or if I could even produce a second book in the series for my contract. It was a surprise to me that the only thing I was enjoying writing were some semi-technical, nonfiction articles. When I mentioned a bit of my frustration to some fellow writers, they wondered if I was burned out with having written so much over a short time period. All I knew was that I felt lost within the genre where I had started my writing career. There had to be an answer to my problem somewhere.

How we perceive ourselves reflects in how we present ourselves to others. When you tell people that you write romance, what qualifiers do you add? When asked what kind of romance you write, how do you describe it? If you write chick lit, what kind do you write? What about suspense? Are there any special elements that regularly appear in your work that establish why you’re in that specific genre or sub-genre? What perception do others get from reading your work?

When I took the time to ask myself those questions, ask friends, and be honest in reading my work, I finally realized that my designation was wrong. Earlier I referred that the shift in my thinking occurred due to an article about the RWA’s new category in promoting women’s romantic fiction. What it did was open my eyes to a simple truth I had overlooked in having my “master plan,” If you hear the name, Nora Roberts, the recognition is that of mainstream romance. The name, Stephen King, brings forth the horror genre. Yet in both of these cases, they have written outside of those genres, sometimes under a pseudonym. Based upon their voice and success, we know their primary niche. We know that they also pen in other genres like science fiction, fantasy, and nonfiction, which means that they expanded their niche to include other aspects. So the question is: What is your niche and how much does it encompass?

Niche finding is comparable to discovering your writing voice. Our voice shifts as we grow in our writing. We should expect that as time goes on that we might also expand in other writing directions. In taking an honest look at our prose, we may find that the genre we want to write in might not be the best place to start. This doesn’t mean that we can’t succeed in that area, just that our voice and style have taken us somewhere else for the time being. It might mean that the genre we need to be writing for is one we might be the one we’re avoiding for various reasons.

To see someone take off in another direction during their writing career should make us all question whether or not we’re ready to branch out or change directions. Evaluating our goals and our accomplishments can help in the task. Ask yourself, “Do I find myself bored or worried I’m not going farther in what I’m currently doing?” Some others are, “If I could write anything I wanted, what all would I write?” “Am I writing what I love and could write it for the rest of my life happily?”

In my case, I found myself facing the questions and not enjoying the truth. Why did I feel that way? The answer was comprised of various aspects, but the main one was in how I felt boxed in with what I compose. I felt that my writing wasn’t as good as I thought it should be. Low self-esteem and a fear of being seen as bragging played a big factor. Two friends of mine whom I’d not told of my dilemma until recently helped me to overcome some of those aspects. One had read my book and pronounced he really enjoyed it though it was normally not his cup of tea. The other has always believed in my writing and forced me to think on what was my niche. Truth be told, I was typing away at a nonfiction article when his words sank into my brain and I wondered, “Why am I just a romance writer?”

Lightning crashed outside and the epiphany music crescendoed. My world shifted as the realization occurred that I was only a romance writer because it’s how I saw myself. That was part of that grand goal of mine; I’d first start off in romance, then branch into other genres. What I hadn’t accepted was that the plan had been changed a while back by editor requests for two fantasy novels I had been working on in my spare time. It was a matter of serendipity on how the editor requested them both, but it was enough to cause a cascading reaction which resulted in me clinging to that path out of fear. During the enlightenment, I realized the editor obviously thought enough of my writing in a genre I felt I wasn’t quite ready to enter. Who am I to doubt an editor’s sincere interest? A friend recently asked me what made me think I was a romance writer. There was no good response I could give him. Once again, the truth was forced out into the open. I’m a writer who has romantic elements in her fiction stories. Once I accepted that lovely niche, I realized that it was the perfect fit for who I am.

So how do you discover what’s your niche? It requires that you be honest with yourself. No matter if the answer is something that you feel incapable of doing, it’s important to acknowledge it. Sometimes in taking that initial step, you see the evidence that you were ready but were in denial. Let’s see how to find your niche. You need to answer the following questions honestly. If you find that you’re not sure, ask others who’ve read your material for some assistance.

1. What genre(s) do you mostly read?
2. In that genre, what subgenre do you lean most towards? (Do you read romantic suspense, paranormal romance, erotic romance, high fantasy, urban fantasy, etc.)
3. When you write, what elements occur most often in your writing? (Ex.- paranormal features, hint of mystery, fantasy elements, romance, etc.)
4. Do you find yourself doodling with various ideas that don’t always fit into the same area you want to write?
5. Have you ever felt you were missing something in the stories you’ve created?
6. Have people commented that you should submit to other publishers or write in other genres?



Don’t try to rationalize your answers. It’s extremely important for your success as a writer to be honest with yourself if you’re planning to succeed. The only way to know where you belong is answering truthfully. After you’re finished, read the questions and your answers out loud. Actually hear your words. You might find that there are many things that you seem to enjoy or might be good at. Do you need to branch out because you’ve limited yourself? Or do you have things you could branch out into, but there seems to be too many of them? Consider that some aspects might be related to a specific genre or area. Taking the time to get to the heart of the matter, discerning what you truly want and what you’re good at, you’ll begin to see your current path.
Let’s take a look at my answers and see how I came up with my niche.

1. Romance, paranormal fiction, nonfiction history books, mysteries, erotic romance, crime thrillers, true crime, fantasy, science fiction.
2. Romance- paranormal and erotic. Nonfiction- crime and history. Mystery- forensic science and cozies. Fantasy- sword and sorcery and urban. Science fiction- futuristics, alternate realities.
3. Paranormal, historical references, and forensics, romance elements.
4. Yes. I find myself always going to various ideas outside of the area I target at times.
5. Constantly.
6. Yes, they have.



Looking at my list, I asked myself, “What themes repeated?” Consistently there was mention of history, paranormal, fantasy, crime and romance. Those are the basic interests I enjoy constantly. I asked myself what themes come up most often in my writing. The answer was love and knowledge. Checking my stories, I looked at how many of them incorporated those elements either separately or in combination. As I did that, I noticed a pattern among my themes and those aspects. Patterns help show your natural tendencies. Did I have a lot of writing that didn’t fall into these categories? If so, was it work I was happy with or was I forcing myself to fit into a preconceived perception? Making those connections, I began to see where I needed to focus as well as where I had to accept the truth. My answers gave me the tools to discern my tendencies as well as my interests. No longer was I limiting myself, but instead, I was free to go in directions I had feared to try before. There was a moment when I recognized that I had grown as a writer and I was capable of finishing those fantasy novels I’d been terrified about.

So, what kind of writer are you? What makes your heart sing when the words flow from your fingertips? Have you grown in your writing and in your tastes in what you compose? Most of us do as we learn more about writing. By being truthful in assessing our writing and our preferences, we can begin to see where our niche lies. Remember just as a snail outgrows its home and needs a new one, we too can find ourselves needing to move on in our writing.

Tuesday, August 07, 2007

Blurb-- It's What Happening!

Blurbs--they can get people reading or they can make people pass on by. Yes, many will tell you that cover alone is the be all end all of your book hooking readers, but many of us are drawn more to titles and blurbs over covers. And even if you have the most kick-ass cover--without a blurb that snares the
attention--you can still lose readers. So, how do you write a blurb that hooks your attention without giving too much away?

First off, there are many kinds of blurbs, not just the one you often read on a back cover. I classify them as High Concept, Back Cover, and the Query/Highlight blurbs. Each of these have a place within publishing both for non-published and published authors. Once you know the basic requirements to write each kind, you'll find that it becomes second nature to you to have each type ready. Let's look at the High Concept blurb first since it's the shortest, and in some ways, the easiest to write.

What does High Concept mean? Simply put, high concept blurbs use already well-known items--books, movies, phrases-- together in combination to showcase the essence of your story. An example is how Gene Roddenberry billed Star Trek to the Desilu executives. He called it "Horatio Hornblower among the stars." This concept caught the executives attention and asked him to explain more about it. Another example is my story called Argent Valkyrie. I call it "Manchurian Candidate meets Star Wars with a twist." If you're familiar with what the stories are about--you then can see the essence of the story being spoken about.

So, how do you write a high concept blurb? Sit down with your story--finished or not, and ask yourself a few questions like: What does this story say in general terms? What movie/book/tv show does this story remind you of. (It can be more than one or two.) Is part of the story the reverse of a story that is out somewhere? By asking yourself these questions, you can now put together a one sentence high concept blurb. Play with it, refine it, watch a few movies or shows to capture the feel of your story better. By having this high concept blurb--we're ready for the next stage: Back Cover Blurb.

I enjoy writing the Back Cover blurb as it's often one of the first things I write while writing the story. It's part of my plotting process and it often is the motivation to keep things on track. In fact, the back cover blurb will lead us to the final blurb-- the query/highlight one as it's a refined version with small changes. So, let's take that high concept blurb as our guide and begin the back cover blurb.

We know the essence of the story, so the next step is what is the crisis/decision moment that forces the protagonist to act? This should be the first sentence of your blurb. In this blurb, I often have one to two paragraphs, each composed of 4-7 sentences. This limits what is included and forces you to think in what I call movie trailer mode.

Movie trailers are one of the best ways to learn how to write back cover blurbs. Listen to them on the radio and watch them on tv. Take notes on what is used as the opening, the middle, the ending hook. These are what comprise the back cover for a story. Though there are many things that make up a book or movie, these three components are always present.

Take your opening sentence. Does it make you go, "Hmm, I wonder what this is about? How did this happen?" If you aren't finding yourself wondering more about the character-- you need a different first sentence. Once you open up with the appropriate attention grabber that sets up the book, usually introducing the main character or at least one of the main characters, you move to the next part. Normally my first two sentences are what constitutes not just the crisis moment, but the main characters first reaction. This allows the readers to identify with the character--even though they don't know much else. Then we go to what I call the interference--why can't the character do what is necessary to fix the situation? What is stopping him/her from moving forward? Normally, I pick one certain thing faced that is a failure or I generalize a couple of incidents that show just what the character/s face and why they're not getting anywhere fast.

Then I bring in the emotions. Why? Because we are emotional creatures and we want to feel the humanity of the protagonists. We want to see them struggle, fall in love, realize that they need something more than what they are at that moment to accomplish their goals. When writing a romance, this is where I mention about the attraction factor, the intimacy, or even being overwhelmed thus causing the next set of circumstances that happen. Once I've done this part--which is often a few sentences, I get to the setup of the black moment/final crisis. When I prepare this part, I often take a few minutes with the story if it's done and reread the first few pages before that moment and through that moment. If the story isn't written, I play my movie trailer in my head, taking down the aspects that make it so intense you need to know what happens after.

Then I fiddle with it a bit, making sure that I don't give away the ending but leave the reader wondering-- "What happens?" Depending on the genre, I often try to form the last sentence or two as questions, bringing the whole story essence into that moment-- "Can they love each other when they find out their love is based on deceit?" "Can he figure out who is behind the murders before the murderer wins the final round by destroying the one person that Jake can't live without?"

By using a strong hook at the end of the back cover blurb, you are leaving the reader wondering, thinking, considering. You're forcing them to speculate without too much information and one thing that never fails when it comes to mankind is curiosity. Make them wonder what the ending is, they'll go around, look at other things, then find themselves back at that book going, "Hmmm how does he resolve this? Can they get through this without losing themselves?" Starting and ending with a hook is one sure way to have your book remembered. If the hook is also catchy--it's one they won't forget and will talk about to other people. Once this is written, I often spend some time revising, tightening, and rewording the blurb until I'm happy with it. This usually involves me reading it out loud, like a movie trailer. If I hear it and I feel excited, then I know that I've got the paciing and flow nailed for the blurb.

This takes us to the final blurb-- the Query/Highlight blurb. Why do I have this one last? For me, this is one of the hardest to write because it's shorter than the back cover blurb yet is the one I use most often when I query publishers, agents, etc. For this blurb, I try to keep it to one paragraph--keeping the opening and if possible, the ending sentences. I go through the rest of the back cover things, removing detailed information and replacing it with generalized overviews. The goal with the query/highlight blurb is to get attention and make them want to hear more about the story. Often times you'll see this blurb in a magazine, front page of an epublisher's website, etc. It's a short 4-6 sentence paragraph that gives you more than the High Concept but less than the Back Cover.

Normally when crafting the query blurb, I remove the emotions sentences and increase the crisis ideas, making the reader antsy and anticipating the meaning of what is going on in the story. A good example is the query blurb for Mark of the Blood, my first Marauder book. Example-- Wrongly cursed by their patron goddess, Morrigu, nine Druid brothers fight the forcesof evil for eternity. Worlds collide as Kirstie Blake and Marauder Dr. Niam Maraigh hunt a rapist and succumb to the Mark of the Blood.

Notice that it not only gives you an overview of the series, but it also hints at what's going to happen within the story without bringing up the details? The goal of the query blurb is to make the person want more. So when you open up the page where Mark of the Blood is--you then read the back cover blurb, which is a bit more indepth and makes you even more curious. See, you're building up the tension in the blurbs. That's the ultimate goal. How does this work?

Someone asks you about the story you're working on. You might say, "It's Underworld meets Merry Gentry with a twist." This is actually the high concept I use for Treaty of Desire. There is more to the story than that, but in essence--it gets the point across. Now you've got someone going, "Tell me more. What do you mean? How is it like Underworld?" This is where you'd break out the query blurb.

"Taja Drevin, a Were-subqueen must learn the ways of the Seelie Fey in exchange for teaching the greatest mage among them how to access the glamour magick the Fey lost for closing the mortal world from Helia, the world all preternatural creatures live. Neither Taja, nor the mage, the heir Adrastai are prepared for the attraction that springs between them. But all is not well during this teaching--someone wants the treaty between the Weres and the Feys broken and they're willing to kill Taja to do just that. Can Taja and Adras discover who is behind the assasination attempts or will the Treaty of Desire be broken thus destroying any hopes of their world surviving mankind rediscovering them when the Gateway opens between the two worlds?"

Notice that now you've given them just enough to tease their attention and whet their appetite without giving out too much detail? My back cover blurb is just a couple sentences longer, speaking about Frelin, Adrastai's brother who is a major pain to Taja as well as the fact that both Adras and Taja are hiding secrets from the other which play factor in when they become lovers. The progression of each blurb helps to not only give snippets of info, but like movie trailers of thirty, forty-five, and sixty seconds--they let you see more aspects of the story without giving away the ending.

Even though people know romance novels will have a Happily Ever After, they still like discovering how they get to that point. It's the journey that people enjoy the most--take that away, then a reader won't bother with your story. But if you hint, tease, and make them wonder how it can be done--they'll pick up your book before they do anyone else's.

Remember-- Blurbs-- it's where it's happening. Without them we'd not get anyone interesting in reading what we write.