Sunday, November 30, 2008
Pagan- Why the Ritual in Magick?
I know I spoke a bit on this topic, but today, I want to delve a bit more into detail on the hows, whys and explain why there are some cliches that are found within the pagan community which will always be there. Everyone has a ritual in how they do things- in fact, for many in the US, they participated in a huge ritual on Thursday. That's right- those who did a traditional Thanksgiving, have repeated a ritual that was handed down to them from their ancestors. Which makes you wonder- what is ritual and what place does it have in our lives?
Friday, November 28, 2008
Sex Ed with Mistress Cynnara- BDSM 101
Mistress Cynnara- I know you're called a mistress because you engage in sexual BDSM. But honestly, what is BDSM? Is it just another form of kink? How do you know if you're truly into the world of BDSM? --- Tie Me Up and Spank Me in Texas
BDSM is a hot topic right now in many areas- from television, books, and more. Why? Because people are realizing that kink and the deeper ingrained needs aren't just the usual missionary or woman superior sex anymore. What's more important, great strides have been made, including the DSM (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders) have declared that BDSM activities are part of normal life, as long as they, like most things, are not taken in the extreme.
BDSM is a hot topic right now in many areas- from television, books, and more. Why? Because people are realizing that kink and the deeper ingrained needs aren't just the usual missionary or woman superior sex anymore. What's more important, great strides have been made, including the DSM (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders) have declared that BDSM activities are part of normal life, as long as they, like most things, are not taken in the extreme.
Thursday, November 27, 2008
Personal- Happy Thanksgiving
Happy Thanksgiving to all fellow Americans. To everyone else in the universe, happy Thursday. Today, my country celebrates the harsh and hard times of the Pilgrims. It also celebrates with thanks that the local Indian tribes took pity on the English and helped them out.
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Pagan: Why I'm considered an Eclectic Pagan
The past few days, I've been thinking on the non-fiction book dealing with paganism I've been wanting to write. How my beliefs and my growing knowledge has led me to honouring not just part of my ethnic heritages but the idea of all being important to my spiritual and mental health. Most people learn one tradition, thinking that it's the end all be all of their beliefs. Whether it's druidism, Asatru, Christianity, Islam, Buddhism, or any other religion, there are very few that teach that other beliefs are valid. (There are a few religions, and I applaud their ability to be open and to see the value inherent of others.) But my ethnic heritage is in direct opposition to that thought process. I'm a mutt and damn proud of it. Lithuanian, Dutch, French (okay ,this I like that it's Breton French), German, Polish, and Russian. Recently, we found out we may also have some Jewish heritage. It's a heritage that has had people who were conquered, beaten, yet clung to their beliefs and when called for, merged with others they loved and brought their beliefs into a new family. It's a collection of beliefs from paganism onwards to Christianity that's unique and more importantly-- important for me to savor and be proud of.
My male talks about how what his ancestors did have no bearing on how he is or what he believes. I smile and nod alot. He makes his own belief choice, but it's not without the influence of his ancestors. Don't believe me- ask him why it's important to have a Traditional Thanksgiving. *rolls eyes* Tradition and family beliefs count for a lot, even for those who say they don't let the past dictate who and what they believe in.
For me, it's not a matter that I'm wanting to believe what my ancestors did. It's learning what they believed in, discovering what is important for me to incorporate into my daily life, and further, to make sure that belief system is never forgotten. I joke around about the story called the Repository, but among my closest friends and among those who know how I am-- I am the Repository for belief systems. I've made a study of them for years and years. I've collected how many people worshipped, how the religion is being reconstructed in the places where knowledge is lacking and more. For me, our past is just as important as our future. Without one, you will never succeed in the other.
Being eclectic doesn't mean picking and choosing only the cool stuff, it means that sometimes the hard stuff- the stuff I'd rather avoid is also included in my beliefs and what I do. Why? Because it's not just the easy, fun things that make me who I am, but also the hard things. Most of my family left their homes in Germany, Poland, France, Holland to come to America. They left in a time when national pride was part and parcel of being their nationalities. Yet, they left seeking something better in a new nation that would give them the chance of freedom of beliefs. So, for me, it's taking the history, the beliefs of my ancestors and the beliefs of the peoples who were there long before and integrating what not just feels right, but what will benefit me and those whom I serve.
Take a look at your own family history. What is your ethnicity? How far back can you trace your family tree? If your family has been established there for a while, think on this- what was the area before it was forcibly Christianized? What family traditions do you enjoy that are based in those oldest of beliefs? What else among what you do honours those traditions and the path you lead now?
Being eclectic isn't a bad thing. It's a place where you can enjoy your past, your present and your future. It's a place that accepts that our world is smaller now than it's ever been, allowing us not only to accept the good and the bad, but to bring into play our global family, who shares many similar beliefs as well. (continue reading &aquo;)
My male talks about how what his ancestors did have no bearing on how he is or what he believes. I smile and nod alot. He makes his own belief choice, but it's not without the influence of his ancestors. Don't believe me- ask him why it's important to have a Traditional Thanksgiving. *rolls eyes* Tradition and family beliefs count for a lot, even for those who say they don't let the past dictate who and what they believe in.
For me, it's not a matter that I'm wanting to believe what my ancestors did. It's learning what they believed in, discovering what is important for me to incorporate into my daily life, and further, to make sure that belief system is never forgotten. I joke around about the story called the Repository, but among my closest friends and among those who know how I am-- I am the Repository for belief systems. I've made a study of them for years and years. I've collected how many people worshipped, how the religion is being reconstructed in the places where knowledge is lacking and more. For me, our past is just as important as our future. Without one, you will never succeed in the other.
Being eclectic doesn't mean picking and choosing only the cool stuff, it means that sometimes the hard stuff- the stuff I'd rather avoid is also included in my beliefs and what I do. Why? Because it's not just the easy, fun things that make me who I am, but also the hard things. Most of my family left their homes in Germany, Poland, France, Holland to come to America. They left in a time when national pride was part and parcel of being their nationalities. Yet, they left seeking something better in a new nation that would give them the chance of freedom of beliefs. So, for me, it's taking the history, the beliefs of my ancestors and the beliefs of the peoples who were there long before and integrating what not just feels right, but what will benefit me and those whom I serve.
Take a look at your own family history. What is your ethnicity? How far back can you trace your family tree? If your family has been established there for a while, think on this- what was the area before it was forcibly Christianized? What family traditions do you enjoy that are based in those oldest of beliefs? What else among what you do honours those traditions and the path you lead now?
Being eclectic isn't a bad thing. It's a place where you can enjoy your past, your present and your future. It's a place that accepts that our world is smaller now than it's ever been, allowing us not only to accept the good and the bad, but to bring into play our global family, who shares many similar beliefs as well. (continue reading &aquo;)
Monday, November 24, 2008
Match Game- Ghost Style
A while back, I had a story in the Spirited anthology entitled Match Game, Ghost Style. Well, Loose Id, in its wonderfulness, decided to make it a classic, releasing it into it's own book with a brand new cover. I admit, the cover is PERFECT for what I envisioned for Shari.
Isn't it beautiful? I love this story, which is dedicated to my soul twin and one of my best friends ever. What I love most about this story and the cover is that it allowed me to get deeper into the fictional city I created in Florida. So imagine my surprise to find out there is a REAL city that shares the name with my imaginary one. I will say this- at least my city has interesting street names. LOL
I updated the website with the new cover and the link. I'm SOOO happy with this rerelease of sorts.
Let me know what you think!
Buying Info: http://loose-id.net/detail.aspx?ID=851
Blurb:
Dia de los Muertos, the Day of the Dead is here and for Ben Cameron, this holiday is painful without his best friend, Manuel “Manny” Cervantes. For Shari Livingston, this is a day to remember just how much Manny has done for all of their friends, but she never expects Manny to appear at the Dumb Supper she and the others have put together or to make to demand that she and Ben admit their true feelings for one another.
However, Manny the ghost isn’t about to let them get away with just sleeping together to make him happy. He knows more about them than they want to admit even to themselves.
Can this matchmaking ghost get Ben and Shari together or will he be forced to play the ultimate match game to show the love between them both? (continue reading &aquo;)
Isn't it beautiful? I love this story, which is dedicated to my soul twin and one of my best friends ever. What I love most about this story and the cover is that it allowed me to get deeper into the fictional city I created in Florida. So imagine my surprise to find out there is a REAL city that shares the name with my imaginary one. I will say this- at least my city has interesting street names. LOLI updated the website with the new cover and the link. I'm SOOO happy with this rerelease of sorts.
Let me know what you think!
Buying Info: http://loose-id.net/detail.aspx?ID=851
Blurb:
Dia de los Muertos, the Day of the Dead is here and for Ben Cameron, this holiday is painful without his best friend, Manuel “Manny” Cervantes. For Shari Livingston, this is a day to remember just how much Manny has done for all of their friends, but she never expects Manny to appear at the Dumb Supper she and the others have put together or to make to demand that she and Ben admit their true feelings for one another.
However, Manny the ghost isn’t about to let them get away with just sleeping together to make him happy. He knows more about them than they want to admit even to themselves.
Can this matchmaking ghost get Ben and Shari together or will he be forced to play the ultimate match game to show the love between them both? (continue reading &aquo;)
Sunday, November 23, 2008
Flash Fiction- Guess what Fairytale?
Ann Vremont posted links to a beautiful fairytale scene she created. Then she challenged people on the Changeling Press Yahoo group to come up with a flash fiction. So...I came up with one. Gods only knows what will happen next. LOL
These are the piccies- http://www.annvremont.com/images/fairylights_3_1024.jpg and a lighter version- http://www.annvremont.com/images/fairylights_2_1024.jpg
These are the piccies- http://www.annvremont.com/images/fairylights_3_1024.jpg and a lighter version- http://www.annvremont.com/images/fairylights_2_1024.jpg
Personal- Holiday Traditions
Fellow romance author, Raine Delight has a blog topic dealing with holiday traditions. It got me thinking on some of the holiday traditions of my family that I've kept and the ones I've created for my family through the years. It also reminded me of some traditions I want to keep alive for the younger generation in our family tree.
Friday, November 21, 2008
Flash Fiction-
Sometimes, I have no idea on what to write for Flash Fiction day. Today is one of those days. Why? Because I got out of working today and I came home bored. I want to read books and do NOTHING. LMAO But there are ideas floating in my mind, the question is- what will come out?
Thinking on it, I wanted to revisit a story I've not finished telling, but have hinted at. That of Kymaera. She's one of my favorite female characters and someone whom I'm very fond of. Enjoy.
Thinking on it, I wanted to revisit a story I've not finished telling, but have hinted at. That of Kymaera. She's one of my favorite female characters and someone whom I'm very fond of. Enjoy.
Thursday, November 20, 2008
Sex Ed with Mistress Cynnara- Mother Nature and Urges
Today's topic comes from a friend of mine. One I've got to admit, had me thinking and wondering how to go about this and not gross people out and how to get people past the Eew factor. So what's today's topic?
Dear Mistress Cynnara- I'm a woman who loves sex, but it's weird, either right before or during my period, it's the time when I'm the most horny. Why does this happen and how can I convince my male, I want sex and to have him give it to me? --- Raging Hormones in the Mountains
For all we talk about sex and sexuality, the female libido and the factors that influence it are not well researched or well understood. What makes it difficult is that for a long time, it was all about the male libido, the male sex drive. For those of you who were old enough to remember when it first came out about the female orgasm and the G-spot, remember the fervor? I'm not denigrating the need to understand males or their sex drive, but just a reminder that female sex needs to be understood as well as the other part of the equation. What limited studies have shown is that women do experience a need for more primal type sex before and during their periods.
Now, before people go left, right and rampant about having sex while a woman's having her period- let me state that I always insist on safe sex between partners, especially if they've not discussed sex and health issues. The idea of not having sex during a menstrual period comes about from many sources and ideas- one it's a time of power for a woman, it's not pleasant to be part of if you're a male, and the idea that it's unclean- per religious beliefs. However, there is no scientific data that says it's acceptable or not. In fact, it's decidedly mixed, just as women are a mixed bag themselves. What does that mean?
Some women are horny, some are not. Some women spook at the idea of having sex while bleeding. But one thing to note- the amount of blood is minimal- approximately 80 ml, or a little over 2 ounces. The rest is other fluids and membranes being flushed out of the system because of nonpregnancy. It's an individual decision on whether or not to engage in sexual activity during your menses. Personally, as long as you play safely, I see no reason for it. For me, I find it helps with cramps, the hormonal urges for sex, and most importantly, it allows me a chance to get a bit wild.
So, what does safe play include? First- no open cuts on either individual. If there are any, they must be properly protected. Condoms are absolutely essential as well. If you're determined to have sex on a bed or another area besides the bathroom, make sure you have coverings that absorb fluids. I usually recommend a tarp or rubber sheet covered by a couple of older towels that you don't use much anymore. For me, the only place to have sex during my period is the shower. Why? Because I can get clean right after, along with my lover. Of course, it helps if you have an oversized hot water heater, as you can be in there for a while, depending on whether or not it takes a while for you to orgasm.
So, how does one have intercourse while having one's period if the lover is willing? A variety of ways. Depending on how you both wish to start, I recommend the use of waterproof, easily cleaned toys. Why toys? Because most women, even though they're hornier than all get out at this point, they still need some physical stimulation to prepare them mentally and physically for penetration. Also, since oral sex for her is out at this point, the use of toys can replace the oral stimulation. Using clitoral stimulating toys upon her will get her excited and helps rev up the engines. Stimulating her nipples works with some women, but not all. Depends on how tender they get during their menses. If they like it, don't hold back. Fondle, caress, nibble, and play with those visible points of excitation.
If you're at this point and you, the woman feel the need for intercourse, now is the time to let the man know. Why? Because it's time to touch and play with the male, so he's aroused as well. Once that happens, let the male bring you to an orgasm via the toys at least once. Why? This helps flush out more from your body and further, it'll allow you to counteract those cramps you might experience during that time. Then, once he dons protection, you're not only lubricated, but ready for intercourse.
What if your lover isn't too thrilled with the idea of entering the sanguine zone? Then perhaps consider anal sex during this time. This way, you don't have to forgo the tampon and such, and with that slight fullness in you, you might discover the thrill of feeling full in both areas simultaneously. This way neither of you have to feel as if you're violating any kind of cleanness belief or worry about making a mess. One point to note- make sure you change your gear just prior to play. This way it'll afford you more time to play before leakage may occur.
Shower time is one of my favourite sex during my period times. Why? Because of the clean factor and because there's something very sexy about having sex in the shower anyway. The fact I can indulge it and not have to worry so much about making a mess is one less worry. Plus, for many men, this could be the deciding factor for them to try it. So, consider being plastered against the wall of the shower, having hot, erotic sex while during your period.
Until next week-- dream hot, live life to the fullest, and remember - sex is always fun!
Always,
Mistress Cynnara
(continue reading &aquo;)
Dear Mistress Cynnara- I'm a woman who loves sex, but it's weird, either right before or during my period, it's the time when I'm the most horny. Why does this happen and how can I convince my male, I want sex and to have him give it to me? --- Raging Hormones in the Mountains
For all we talk about sex and sexuality, the female libido and the factors that influence it are not well researched or well understood. What makes it difficult is that for a long time, it was all about the male libido, the male sex drive. For those of you who were old enough to remember when it first came out about the female orgasm and the G-spot, remember the fervor? I'm not denigrating the need to understand males or their sex drive, but just a reminder that female sex needs to be understood as well as the other part of the equation. What limited studies have shown is that women do experience a need for more primal type sex before and during their periods.
Now, before people go left, right and rampant about having sex while a woman's having her period- let me state that I always insist on safe sex between partners, especially if they've not discussed sex and health issues. The idea of not having sex during a menstrual period comes about from many sources and ideas- one it's a time of power for a woman, it's not pleasant to be part of if you're a male, and the idea that it's unclean- per religious beliefs. However, there is no scientific data that says it's acceptable or not. In fact, it's decidedly mixed, just as women are a mixed bag themselves. What does that mean?
Some women are horny, some are not. Some women spook at the idea of having sex while bleeding. But one thing to note- the amount of blood is minimal- approximately 80 ml, or a little over 2 ounces. The rest is other fluids and membranes being flushed out of the system because of nonpregnancy. It's an individual decision on whether or not to engage in sexual activity during your menses. Personally, as long as you play safely, I see no reason for it. For me, I find it helps with cramps, the hormonal urges for sex, and most importantly, it allows me a chance to get a bit wild.
So, what does safe play include? First- no open cuts on either individual. If there are any, they must be properly protected. Condoms are absolutely essential as well. If you're determined to have sex on a bed or another area besides the bathroom, make sure you have coverings that absorb fluids. I usually recommend a tarp or rubber sheet covered by a couple of older towels that you don't use much anymore. For me, the only place to have sex during my period is the shower. Why? Because I can get clean right after, along with my lover. Of course, it helps if you have an oversized hot water heater, as you can be in there for a while, depending on whether or not it takes a while for you to orgasm.
So, how does one have intercourse while having one's period if the lover is willing? A variety of ways. Depending on how you both wish to start, I recommend the use of waterproof, easily cleaned toys. Why toys? Because most women, even though they're hornier than all get out at this point, they still need some physical stimulation to prepare them mentally and physically for penetration. Also, since oral sex for her is out at this point, the use of toys can replace the oral stimulation. Using clitoral stimulating toys upon her will get her excited and helps rev up the engines. Stimulating her nipples works with some women, but not all. Depends on how tender they get during their menses. If they like it, don't hold back. Fondle, caress, nibble, and play with those visible points of excitation.
If you're at this point and you, the woman feel the need for intercourse, now is the time to let the man know. Why? Because it's time to touch and play with the male, so he's aroused as well. Once that happens, let the male bring you to an orgasm via the toys at least once. Why? This helps flush out more from your body and further, it'll allow you to counteract those cramps you might experience during that time. Then, once he dons protection, you're not only lubricated, but ready for intercourse.
What if your lover isn't too thrilled with the idea of entering the sanguine zone? Then perhaps consider anal sex during this time. This way, you don't have to forgo the tampon and such, and with that slight fullness in you, you might discover the thrill of feeling full in both areas simultaneously. This way neither of you have to feel as if you're violating any kind of cleanness belief or worry about making a mess. One point to note- make sure you change your gear just prior to play. This way it'll afford you more time to play before leakage may occur.
Shower time is one of my favourite sex during my period times. Why? Because of the clean factor and because there's something very sexy about having sex in the shower anyway. The fact I can indulge it and not have to worry so much about making a mess is one less worry. Plus, for many men, this could be the deciding factor for them to try it. So, consider being plastered against the wall of the shower, having hot, erotic sex while during your period.
Until next week-- dream hot, live life to the fullest, and remember - sex is always fun!
Always,
Mistress Cynnara
(continue reading &aquo;)
Pagan: Element- Spirit
Many people who believe in the four main elements of the Middle Ages- air, earth, water, fire, do not count spirit among them. For them, Spirit comes from man or a higher power, not part of the elemental focus. Yet, when you consider the balance of the elements, you can't deny the way Spirit unites them all. Spirit is truly a neutral element- neither male nor female, but both at the same time. To people who serve the spirit, the element often has female properties they see more often. Sometimes it's harder to discern the positive and negative of spirit, especially in how personal people see Spirit. But it can be done.
Sunday, November 16, 2008
Rant: Same Sex Marriage
Can anyone recite the Preamble to the US Constitution? "We the People of the United States, in Order to form a more perfect Union, establish Justice, insure domestic Tranquility, provide for the common defence, promote the general Welfare, and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of America."
We have fought for our freedoms, amended the Constitution to make sure civil liberties were not trampled upon. Yet, the issue of same-sex marriage is causing a huge fervor- radicals on both sides. But the bottom line is not one of morality or belief. As I quoted before- George Washington has stated the United States is NOT based upon the Christianity belief system, but on basic human rights.
Before everyone jumps on me, let me quote the Fourteenth Amendment, which people in various states and beliefs better remember and think hard on what it means in all instances. "No State shall make or enforce any law which shall abridge the privileges or immunities of citizens of the United States; nor shall any State deprive any person of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law; nor deny to any person within its jurisdiction the equal protection of the laws."
So, people, think on this. Are gays, lesbians US citizens or not? That's the bottom line. If they are US citizens, paying taxes, providing protection, then you can NOT deny them their rights of happiness or that of marriage- which is a CIVIL union, not a religious one. That means, by abridging the rights of marriage, insurance coverage and more to gays, the States and those who live within them are breaking the 14th Amendment. That's right, under the US Constitution, by voting on abridging the rights of other US citizens is ILLEGAL. That's right, no matter what's said or done, in the end, do you really think the Supreme Court won't refer to this matter in the long run and say, "You can't do that- it breaks all of the 14th Amendment."
Think people. Do you want your rights abused and broken because in one way or another-- you're a minority? Think on it, Think on it hard and remember- one day you WILL be the minority, then what? Do you want your past to come back and haunt you? (continue reading &aquo;)
We have fought for our freedoms, amended the Constitution to make sure civil liberties were not trampled upon. Yet, the issue of same-sex marriage is causing a huge fervor- radicals on both sides. But the bottom line is not one of morality or belief. As I quoted before- George Washington has stated the United States is NOT based upon the Christianity belief system, but on basic human rights.
Before everyone jumps on me, let me quote the Fourteenth Amendment, which people in various states and beliefs better remember and think hard on what it means in all instances. "No State shall make or enforce any law which shall abridge the privileges or immunities of citizens of the United States; nor shall any State deprive any person of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law; nor deny to any person within its jurisdiction the equal protection of the laws."
So, people, think on this. Are gays, lesbians US citizens or not? That's the bottom line. If they are US citizens, paying taxes, providing protection, then you can NOT deny them their rights of happiness or that of marriage- which is a CIVIL union, not a religious one. That means, by abridging the rights of marriage, insurance coverage and more to gays, the States and those who live within them are breaking the 14th Amendment. That's right, under the US Constitution, by voting on abridging the rights of other US citizens is ILLEGAL. That's right, no matter what's said or done, in the end, do you really think the Supreme Court won't refer to this matter in the long run and say, "You can't do that- it breaks all of the 14th Amendment."
Think people. Do you want your rights abused and broken because in one way or another-- you're a minority? Think on it, Think on it hard and remember- one day you WILL be the minority, then what? Do you want your past to come back and haunt you? (continue reading &aquo;)
Saturday, November 15, 2008
Flash Fiction- Discovery
I was exhausted yesterday after getting up early on my day off and dealing with a lot of crap. But I meant to write up this scene. This scene takes place in the P3 Universe. Will it be in a story-- don't know. LOL But I like the idea of the sex houses and more importantly, being open to your own nature and being sexually responsible and safe. Yet, part of me wonders- what if you felt you were one thing, but told by tests that you're another way? How would you adapt? Would you insist you were right and all the science was wrong? What if the reason you did think you were that way was because you were afraid to embrace your essence? Hmmm
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
Sex Ed with Mistress Cynnara- Sex Equipment/Furniture
Last week, we talked about sex toys- the kind you use on yourself or on your lover. This week, we're venturing out slightly, talking about sex equipment- the kind you use to create a scene, restrain a person and more. Yes, today we talk a bit about BDSM sex furniture and how even those who are "vanilla" can enjoy them with their lovers.
Though I've not covered about BDSM, I do teach a workshop helping writers learn more about the basics of BDSM and all its components. One of those happens to be scening- where you act out a role play, use toys, and even furniture to create a mood and mindset within the person you're involved with. So, what are some of the most popular pieces of furniture and how can they be used in less intense play?
Though I've not covered about BDSM, I do teach a workshop helping writers learn more about the basics of BDSM and all its components. One of those happens to be scening- where you act out a role play, use toys, and even furniture to create a mood and mindset within the person you're involved with. So, what are some of the most popular pieces of furniture and how can they be used in less intense play?
Pagan: Element- Fire
It was what Prometheus gave to man, it brought them forward out of the darkness and into warmth- fire. Fire is a dual element in both nature and sexuality. Most view fire as a masculine element more so than female. Many of us think of Fire in a positive manner, one of healing, protection, warmth. Though we see occasionally the wildfires, the backdrafts that kill, this element leans more positively to people than most others.
I also consider electricity part of Fire as it takes electrical power-- or sparks to be able to create the energy we use in our daily lives.
Positive: Burns away to the essence, warmth, protection, righteous anger and decision to follow through, charisma, electricity for home and work
Negative: Zealousness to the exclusion of balance, fires that destroy and kill, too much charisma, uncontrolled lightning strikes
Lessons with Fire:
The first lesson I often have my students do is to buy some candles and a lighter. I have them sit in a spot where there is no draft and light one candle. They sit about a foot or two away from the flame and focus upon the flame itself. See the components of heat to the flame- from the bright orangey-yellow exterior down to the blue-white interior portion. See them as individual aspects of fire and then slowly refocus your attention to see it as a whole. Just as you are part of a whole, you are also an individual piece of fire. Feel yourself become part of Fire, burning brightly separately and together with others who choose to serve the Flame.
Lesson Two: Once you feel reenergized and focused, begin bending the flame to your will. This will take a lot of time, unless you're truly a child of Fire. Watch the flame, its movements, how it shifts its shape while it burns. Then slowly focus your attention to make the middle bend to one direction then another. See it growing taller, then shorter. The idea here is learning how to control the flame and to hyperfocus with a touch of telekinesis with the element itself. It'll take a while for you to learn how to read the flame and learn how to make it dance. But once you can get it to bend to your will, you'll discover how fluid Fire can be. (continue reading &aquo;)
I also consider electricity part of Fire as it takes electrical power-- or sparks to be able to create the energy we use in our daily lives.
Positive: Burns away to the essence, warmth, protection, righteous anger and decision to follow through, charisma, electricity for home and work
Negative: Zealousness to the exclusion of balance, fires that destroy and kill, too much charisma, uncontrolled lightning strikes
Lessons with Fire:
The first lesson I often have my students do is to buy some candles and a lighter. I have them sit in a spot where there is no draft and light one candle. They sit about a foot or two away from the flame and focus upon the flame itself. See the components of heat to the flame- from the bright orangey-yellow exterior down to the blue-white interior portion. See them as individual aspects of fire and then slowly refocus your attention to see it as a whole. Just as you are part of a whole, you are also an individual piece of fire. Feel yourself become part of Fire, burning brightly separately and together with others who choose to serve the Flame.
Lesson Two: Once you feel reenergized and focused, begin bending the flame to your will. This will take a lot of time, unless you're truly a child of Fire. Watch the flame, its movements, how it shifts its shape while it burns. Then slowly focus your attention to make the middle bend to one direction then another. See it growing taller, then shorter. The idea here is learning how to control the flame and to hyperfocus with a touch of telekinesis with the element itself. It'll take a while for you to learn how to read the flame and learn how to make it dance. But once you can get it to bend to your will, you'll discover how fluid Fire can be. (continue reading &aquo;)
Saturday, November 08, 2008
Flash Fiction- The Pirate Queen
This will be a story. Not sure how long, or how it'll turn out. But this story is for my male. Originally an idea he came up with to amuse me, to seduce me. Together we brought a bit of history, a bit of erotic fun and came up with the basics of the story. Only thing is- I know that for me to run with it- I'll update it to a bit more futuristic fun with laz-swords instead of metal ones, but over all- the same erotic romp of fun. So-- this is for my male- inspiration for naughty thoughts and naughty nights. Thank you, lover.
Friday, November 07, 2008
Sex Ed with Mistress Cynnara- Toy Time
Today, a new question comes in-- one that I had to smile over and one that brought back memories of my first time ni that regard.
Mistress Cynnara- I love sex, enjoy sex, but my boyfriend has suggested that we bring some toys into our sex life to spice things up a bit. Though I think the idea could be fun, I'm not sure what are the best toys to start with, though I do own my own vibrator. --- Toyless in Tacoma
When I read this question, I got excited. I mean excited to the point I brought out my favourite sex toy catalogs and decided to go toy shopping myself. Sex toys are fantastic to bring into a relationship where you have trust. More importantly, toys can help you fall over that edge from just great sex to "OMFG" sex. Now, there are toys for her, toys for him and couple toys out there. And though I advocate many places to shop for toys- once you find a place you really like and trust- patronage them regularly. You'll get good deals and more importantly, you'll find that you can depend on the quality. So, let's begin at the beginning.
Every woman needs a vibrator. I didn't use to think so until I actually used my first one I bought for myself. Believe it or not, I had owned one for years and years and used it on my lover, but not on me. (Shame on me for this! Had I only known!) What kind of vibrator depends on what you're wanting it for. Since I'm of the blended orgasm type- aka vaginal and clitoral, I tend towards the rabbit-styled vibrators. As a matter of fact, I'm buying myself a new one called Daffy the Deep Stroker. It's a bit more styled for my sexual needs and though I love the Rotating G-spot Vibrator, I wanted to try something that would also simulate having sexual intercourse.
But what if you're more the vaginal girl and not the combo type? Then we can go with more along the lines of straight vibrators. For those who prefer vaginal orgasms, the feeling of fullness and the vibrations help achieve that goal. I'm fond of the G-spot vibrators, from the simple and affordable Dual Spot Vibrator to the more expensive but just as easy to use Cyberskin Slimline Deluxe. These are some of the great vaginal orgasm toys. They're also great to use on men and for just massage purposes, depending on the style you buy.
What about the clitoral orgasm queens out there? It's not easy getting the right amount of stimulation and pressure to achieve those mind blowing, legs shaking orgasms. So what kind of toys are best? There are some great clitoral vibrators out there. My favourite out there is Adam and Eve's My Clitoral Humming Vibrator. It's fantastic and I've found that it truly delivers a great mind blowing orgasm.
But that's for self play, or play where you are given pleasure by your lover. What about toys for him? I have few favourites, especially if he's into anal play-- with me in charge! (If you're a hetero male and a bit nervous on it, you're going to want to find my article on Anal Play- you might just change your mind on letting your woman touch your anus.) But some of my favourite toys for men are: My first Anal Toy, Swirl Top Butt Plug (good for men and women! I own 2), Falcon Anal beads, stretchable cock rings, cock straps and harnesses, and male masturbator toys. These allow you to not only please your male but watch him pleasure himself under your guidance and direction.
But what about couple based toys? What can a couple have toy-wise to make them both happy? First, every couple needs at least one pair of nipple clamps- though I'll recommend one pair for women, another pair- alligator style for men- because they don't have the nipples that women do. Invest in a pair of nipple clamps as they're a fun, yet very sensual toy that doesn't cost a lot, but can be used in a variety of ways to up the play time sexually.
Other toys I put on my must have list are restraints, floggers, collars, and cock leashes. Blindfolds, silk scarves, cushioned handcuffs are some other items you can pick up over a period of time. One toy I consider a Must Have in my arsenal of toys is not a toy at all. What is it? It's a set of Sexy Dice. Why? Because with these dice, you can not only command your lover to touch a certain aspect in a random way by the dice. For people who are new at role playing or even at suggesting such a thing- these dice break the ice and allow people to be "told" what to do and to get creative doing so. Think of the dice as Truth or Dare, but only the Dares are allowed.
Why do I think these toys come in handy? These toys can be used in combination of scene play, role play and dress up to provide real-time sensation to up the sexual tension for both partners. The idea here is to be able to have toys that will pleasure and provide a more intense experience whether you're the one on the receiving end or the giving portion. Remember, toys are important for a good relationship when both lovers are open about what the toys are for and they're not used as a substitute for intimacy. Also, if you buy toys, make sure you invest in some good toy cleaner. Depending on the substance the toy is made of- you may need special cleaners to keep them in good shape.
Toys are great things to have and use in a relationship or even alone. Remember, toys are enhancements to make what's great even better. If you're not sure how to use a toy, don't panic-- ask. Sales staff and many of the adult toy websites are more than willing to explain how they work and the best techniques to use with them.
Until next week- keep dreaming those hot sexy dreams, love safely, and remember that knowledge is power.
Always,
Mistress Cynnara (continue reading &aquo;)
Mistress Cynnara- I love sex, enjoy sex, but my boyfriend has suggested that we bring some toys into our sex life to spice things up a bit. Though I think the idea could be fun, I'm not sure what are the best toys to start with, though I do own my own vibrator. --- Toyless in Tacoma
When I read this question, I got excited. I mean excited to the point I brought out my favourite sex toy catalogs and decided to go toy shopping myself. Sex toys are fantastic to bring into a relationship where you have trust. More importantly, toys can help you fall over that edge from just great sex to "OMFG" sex. Now, there are toys for her, toys for him and couple toys out there. And though I advocate many places to shop for toys- once you find a place you really like and trust- patronage them regularly. You'll get good deals and more importantly, you'll find that you can depend on the quality. So, let's begin at the beginning.
Every woman needs a vibrator. I didn't use to think so until I actually used my first one I bought for myself. Believe it or not, I had owned one for years and years and used it on my lover, but not on me. (Shame on me for this! Had I only known!) What kind of vibrator depends on what you're wanting it for. Since I'm of the blended orgasm type- aka vaginal and clitoral, I tend towards the rabbit-styled vibrators. As a matter of fact, I'm buying myself a new one called Daffy the Deep Stroker. It's a bit more styled for my sexual needs and though I love the Rotating G-spot Vibrator, I wanted to try something that would also simulate having sexual intercourse.
But what if you're more the vaginal girl and not the combo type? Then we can go with more along the lines of straight vibrators. For those who prefer vaginal orgasms, the feeling of fullness and the vibrations help achieve that goal. I'm fond of the G-spot vibrators, from the simple and affordable Dual Spot Vibrator to the more expensive but just as easy to use Cyberskin Slimline Deluxe. These are some of the great vaginal orgasm toys. They're also great to use on men and for just massage purposes, depending on the style you buy.
What about the clitoral orgasm queens out there? It's not easy getting the right amount of stimulation and pressure to achieve those mind blowing, legs shaking orgasms. So what kind of toys are best? There are some great clitoral vibrators out there. My favourite out there is Adam and Eve's My Clitoral Humming Vibrator. It's fantastic and I've found that it truly delivers a great mind blowing orgasm.
But that's for self play, or play where you are given pleasure by your lover. What about toys for him? I have few favourites, especially if he's into anal play-- with me in charge! (If you're a hetero male and a bit nervous on it, you're going to want to find my article on Anal Play- you might just change your mind on letting your woman touch your anus.) But some of my favourite toys for men are: My first Anal Toy, Swirl Top Butt Plug (good for men and women! I own 2), Falcon Anal beads, stretchable cock rings, cock straps and harnesses, and male masturbator toys. These allow you to not only please your male but watch him pleasure himself under your guidance and direction.
But what about couple based toys? What can a couple have toy-wise to make them both happy? First, every couple needs at least one pair of nipple clamps- though I'll recommend one pair for women, another pair- alligator style for men- because they don't have the nipples that women do. Invest in a pair of nipple clamps as they're a fun, yet very sensual toy that doesn't cost a lot, but can be used in a variety of ways to up the play time sexually.
Other toys I put on my must have list are restraints, floggers, collars, and cock leashes. Blindfolds, silk scarves, cushioned handcuffs are some other items you can pick up over a period of time. One toy I consider a Must Have in my arsenal of toys is not a toy at all. What is it? It's a set of Sexy Dice. Why? Because with these dice, you can not only command your lover to touch a certain aspect in a random way by the dice. For people who are new at role playing or even at suggesting such a thing- these dice break the ice and allow people to be "told" what to do and to get creative doing so. Think of the dice as Truth or Dare, but only the Dares are allowed.
Why do I think these toys come in handy? These toys can be used in combination of scene play, role play and dress up to provide real-time sensation to up the sexual tension for both partners. The idea here is to be able to have toys that will pleasure and provide a more intense experience whether you're the one on the receiving end or the giving portion. Remember, toys are important for a good relationship when both lovers are open about what the toys are for and they're not used as a substitute for intimacy. Also, if you buy toys, make sure you invest in some good toy cleaner. Depending on the substance the toy is made of- you may need special cleaners to keep them in good shape.
Toys are great things to have and use in a relationship or even alone. Remember, toys are enhancements to make what's great even better. If you're not sure how to use a toy, don't panic-- ask. Sales staff and many of the adult toy websites are more than willing to explain how they work and the best techniques to use with them.
Until next week- keep dreaming those hot sexy dreams, love safely, and remember that knowledge is power.
Always,
Mistress Cynnara (continue reading &aquo;)
Wednesday, November 05, 2008
Pagan: Elements- Water
So far in our discussion of the Elements, we've talked about Earth and Air. Today's topic is that of Water. Water is fluid, changeable. When working with this element, we discover the fine art of flexibility. When it comes to the duality of the Elements, we discover that Water has more of a feminine quality. This is why sailors often called the ocean and the seas as their "mistress."
Political: Changes are Coming- Some good, some bad
First things first-- Congratulations to President-elect Barack Obama. This is a man who has been open and honest in how hard it'll be to make changes in a world where the economy has plummeted. He's talked about compromise and honesty that it's not just as simple as him telling Congress what to do. But, I, like others who want change, aren't going away- we're going to watch our new President and make sure he holds to what he says. If you didn't hear his acceptance speech, you can read it at CNN.com.
As for being a Floridian, I'm beyond angry that people voted for Amendment 2. Sayno2.com has said it best on why it was wrong to pass it. Fellow author, Lena Austin, also has gone on her soapbox and honestly, I'm there with her. What passing this amendment does is also take away the rights of common-law marriages too. But for those Christian people who want to believe that this country was formed and based on Christian ideals-- I would like to quote from our first president, George Washington. He was writing to the government of Tripoli, Liberia when it came up to the beliefs of the United States as a country. And if this is what our founding fathers say, then you need to adjust with a reality- same sex love has been and will always be a part of human society. But here's what our first President says--
And for those who have issues with gays in military or that gays were never prominent...I give you-- the Sacred Band of Thebes. There have always been gays, there always will be. Now, here in Florida, it's not just banning gays from marriage we're looking at-- it's not allowing those who don't want to be married by government to be punished as well. If you're single in Florida-- be scared. Be very scared on what happens now if you ever go to the hospital and on death's door -- and are on the outs with your family. It's not pretty. *sigh* (continue reading &aquo;)
As for being a Floridian, I'm beyond angry that people voted for Amendment 2. Sayno2.com has said it best on why it was wrong to pass it. Fellow author, Lena Austin, also has gone on her soapbox and honestly, I'm there with her. What passing this amendment does is also take away the rights of common-law marriages too. But for those Christian people who want to believe that this country was formed and based on Christian ideals-- I would like to quote from our first president, George Washington. He was writing to the government of Tripoli, Liberia when it came up to the beliefs of the United States as a country. And if this is what our founding fathers say, then you need to adjust with a reality- same sex love has been and will always be a part of human society. But here's what our first President says--
"As the Government of the United States of America is not, in any sense, founded on the Christian religion; as it has in itself no character of enmity against the laws, religion, or tranquillity, of Musselmen; and as the said States never have entered into any war or act of hostility against any Mehomitan nation, it is declared by the parties that no pretext arising from religious opinions shall ever produce an interruption of the harmony existing between the two countries."
And for those who have issues with gays in military or that gays were never prominent...I give you-- the Sacred Band of Thebes. There have always been gays, there always will be. Now, here in Florida, it's not just banning gays from marriage we're looking at-- it's not allowing those who don't want to be married by government to be punished as well. If you're single in Florida-- be scared. Be very scared on what happens now if you ever go to the hospital and on death's door -- and are on the outs with your family. It's not pretty. *sigh* (continue reading &aquo;)
Saturday, November 01, 2008
Sex Ed with Mistress Cynnara- Extra- What's Sexy?
I was talking with a friend the other day, when the idea of "What is sexy?" came up in our conversation. Considering I write erotic romance and she's an editor of said romances, it was an interesting discussion. But more than that, it made me think on how much is physical oriented and how much is oriented otherwise- towards attributes we think are sexy.
Physical attributes are the first and foremost aspect people consider when they talk about sexy. You ask any person "What is the first thing you find sexy about a male or female?" the list is invariably physical first. There are some who have it by rote to say "humour" or some such-- but it's just that-- rote learning. Physicality is the first thing we as creatures notice-- what excites us, what piques our interest, what draws us closer. After that, come what sociologists and anthropologists called the deeper qualities-- intellect, humour, etc. In fact, there have been studies that uphold this thought process.
That said, I have to admit, sometimes I hate the physicality aspect and other times, it's okay. Today, I was walking home from the bus stop, when a car went by with a nice looking male (whom I didn't know) and he whistled at me. I laughed out loud and waved. It made me feel good inside that regardless that I have a lot of weight to lose, I could trigger a response. (We won't mention that said guy stopped the car and asked me out. That would be bragging. LOL)
Studies have even shown that beautiful women marry men who are often considered "less" attractive then them- not because of jealousy, but because they want a supportive spouse. Even more interesting is that males have a tendency to overlook their own looks and go towards those women who are considered beautiful or above their own beauty level. Yet, time and again, people will say they look for compatibility, intellect, honesty, humour when talking about what makes a person sexy. Studies have said that those aspects are often paired with the physical when we see people interact with others.
Now, I'll be the first to admit, I'm prone to the physical attractive thing-- Christian Bale, David Bowie, Jonas Armstrong, John Barrowman and the like. Though the physical attracts me, it's often in combination with a personality trait- intensity of emotions, similar abilities, intellect and more. What's funny-- I can lust for these males, but the idea of having a relationship with them doesn't necessary equate in my thinking. They're eye candy- great for the dreaming and the writing of stories, but of that above list-- only 2 truly would appeal to me beyond the quick roll in the hay. Why? Because those two appeal to me in similar areas that I'm interested in and personality-wise, I'm attracted to them. And if they were all to step towards me at the same time-- the first one I'd go to is simple- John Barrowman aka Captain Jack Harkness from Torchwood. Why? Because he and I have many similar interests, he's gorgeous, and I'd be begging him to sing to me!
One of the things that often hurts in relationships is when sexy isn't perceived the same way in a relationship. For instance, I have a friend who's dating a guy who some would consider above average in looks and is very smart. Anyone who saw my friend would say that she was perhaps average looking and would judge her on her weight issues. Funny thing is, they're great together and though I know he doesn't see her weight in some ways-- he does judge it against her. I've never once heard him call her sexy or say he was attracted to her. But, I hear it out of her mouth often. I know it hurts her that he doesn't see her in that light. And honestly, it hurts me as well. Why? Because we often talk about how those personality and compatibility areas are the first aspects we look for in sexy- but reality is- physicality wins out time and again. We often talk about being accepted for who and what we are in all areas, but very rarely do you meet someone who truly believes and acts accordingly.
Sexy is a very subjective topic, though there are some characteristics in the physicality that seem to be the most common. Some of these characteristics are: waist-to-hip ratio, baby-faced aspects, large eyes, fairly symmetrical faces, and somewhat average style faces.
So, tell me-- what is sexy to you? How do you define it and do you feel you fit the definition that you've given it?
Always,
Mistress Cynnara (continue reading &aquo;)
Physical attributes are the first and foremost aspect people consider when they talk about sexy. You ask any person "What is the first thing you find sexy about a male or female?" the list is invariably physical first. There are some who have it by rote to say "humour" or some such-- but it's just that-- rote learning. Physicality is the first thing we as creatures notice-- what excites us, what piques our interest, what draws us closer. After that, come what sociologists and anthropologists called the deeper qualities-- intellect, humour, etc. In fact, there have been studies that uphold this thought process.
That said, I have to admit, sometimes I hate the physicality aspect and other times, it's okay. Today, I was walking home from the bus stop, when a car went by with a nice looking male (whom I didn't know) and he whistled at me. I laughed out loud and waved. It made me feel good inside that regardless that I have a lot of weight to lose, I could trigger a response. (We won't mention that said guy stopped the car and asked me out. That would be bragging. LOL)
Studies have even shown that beautiful women marry men who are often considered "less" attractive then them- not because of jealousy, but because they want a supportive spouse. Even more interesting is that males have a tendency to overlook their own looks and go towards those women who are considered beautiful or above their own beauty level. Yet, time and again, people will say they look for compatibility, intellect, honesty, humour when talking about what makes a person sexy. Studies have said that those aspects are often paired with the physical when we see people interact with others.
Now, I'll be the first to admit, I'm prone to the physical attractive thing-- Christian Bale, David Bowie, Jonas Armstrong, John Barrowman and the like. Though the physical attracts me, it's often in combination with a personality trait- intensity of emotions, similar abilities, intellect and more. What's funny-- I can lust for these males, but the idea of having a relationship with them doesn't necessary equate in my thinking. They're eye candy- great for the dreaming and the writing of stories, but of that above list-- only 2 truly would appeal to me beyond the quick roll in the hay. Why? Because those two appeal to me in similar areas that I'm interested in and personality-wise, I'm attracted to them. And if they were all to step towards me at the same time-- the first one I'd go to is simple- John Barrowman aka Captain Jack Harkness from Torchwood. Why? Because he and I have many similar interests, he's gorgeous, and I'd be begging him to sing to me!
One of the things that often hurts in relationships is when sexy isn't perceived the same way in a relationship. For instance, I have a friend who's dating a guy who some would consider above average in looks and is very smart. Anyone who saw my friend would say that she was perhaps average looking and would judge her on her weight issues. Funny thing is, they're great together and though I know he doesn't see her weight in some ways-- he does judge it against her. I've never once heard him call her sexy or say he was attracted to her. But, I hear it out of her mouth often. I know it hurts her that he doesn't see her in that light. And honestly, it hurts me as well. Why? Because we often talk about how those personality and compatibility areas are the first aspects we look for in sexy- but reality is- physicality wins out time and again. We often talk about being accepted for who and what we are in all areas, but very rarely do you meet someone who truly believes and acts accordingly.
Sexy is a very subjective topic, though there are some characteristics in the physicality that seem to be the most common. Some of these characteristics are: waist-to-hip ratio, baby-faced aspects, large eyes, fairly symmetrical faces, and somewhat average style faces.
So, tell me-- what is sexy to you? How do you define it and do you feel you fit the definition that you've given it?
Always,
Mistress Cynnara (continue reading &aquo;)
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