Mistress Cynnara- I know you're called a mistress because you engage in sexual BDSM. But honestly, what is BDSM? Is it just another form of kink? How do you know if you're truly into the world of BDSM? --- Tie Me Up and Spank Me in Texas
BDSM is a hot topic right now in many areas- from television, books, and more. Why? Because people are realizing that kink and the deeper ingrained needs aren't just the usual missionary or woman superior sex anymore. What's more important, great strides have been made, including the DSM (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders) have declared that BDSM activities are part of normal life, as long as they, like most things, are not taken in the extreme.
Friday, November 28, 2008
Thursday, November 27, 2008
Personal- Happy Thanksgiving
Happy Thanksgiving to all fellow Americans. To everyone else in the universe, happy Thursday. Today, my country celebrates the harsh and hard times of the Pilgrims. It also celebrates with thanks that the local Indian tribes took pity on the English and helped them out.
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Pagan: Why I'm considered an Eclectic Pagan
The past few days, I've been thinking on the non-fiction book dealing with paganism I've been wanting to write. How my beliefs and my growing knowledge has led me to honouring not just part of my ethnic heritages but the idea of all being important to my spiritual and mental health. Most people learn one tradition, thinking that it's the end all be all of their beliefs. Whether it's druidism, Asatru, Christianity, Islam, Buddhism, or any other religion, there are very few that teach that other beliefs are valid. (There are a few religions, and I applaud their ability to be open and to see the value inherent of others.) But my ethnic heritage is in direct opposition to that thought process. I'm a mutt and damn proud of it. Lithuanian, Dutch, French (okay ,this I like that it's Breton French), German, Polish, and Russian. Recently, we found out we may also have some Jewish heritage. It's a heritage that has had people who were conquered, beaten, yet clung to their beliefs and when called for, merged with others they loved and brought their beliefs into a new family. It's a collection of beliefs from paganism onwards to Christianity that's unique and more importantly-- important for me to savor and be proud of.
My male talks about how what his ancestors did have no bearing on how he is or what he believes. I smile and nod alot. He makes his own belief choice, but it's not without the influence of his ancestors. Don't believe me- ask him why it's important to have a Traditional Thanksgiving. *rolls eyes* Tradition and family beliefs count for a lot, even for those who say they don't let the past dictate who and what they believe in.
For me, it's not a matter that I'm wanting to believe what my ancestors did. It's learning what they believed in, discovering what is important for me to incorporate into my daily life, and further, to make sure that belief system is never forgotten. I joke around about the story called the Repository, but among my closest friends and among those who know how I am-- I am the Repository for belief systems. I've made a study of them for years and years. I've collected how many people worshipped, how the religion is being reconstructed in the places where knowledge is lacking and more. For me, our past is just as important as our future. Without one, you will never succeed in the other.
Being eclectic doesn't mean picking and choosing only the cool stuff, it means that sometimes the hard stuff- the stuff I'd rather avoid is also included in my beliefs and what I do. Why? Because it's not just the easy, fun things that make me who I am, but also the hard things. Most of my family left their homes in Germany, Poland, France, Holland to come to America. They left in a time when national pride was part and parcel of being their nationalities. Yet, they left seeking something better in a new nation that would give them the chance of freedom of beliefs. So, for me, it's taking the history, the beliefs of my ancestors and the beliefs of the peoples who were there long before and integrating what not just feels right, but what will benefit me and those whom I serve.
Take a look at your own family history. What is your ethnicity? How far back can you trace your family tree? If your family has been established there for a while, think on this- what was the area before it was forcibly Christianized? What family traditions do you enjoy that are based in those oldest of beliefs? What else among what you do honours those traditions and the path you lead now?
Being eclectic isn't a bad thing. It's a place where you can enjoy your past, your present and your future. It's a place that accepts that our world is smaller now than it's ever been, allowing us not only to accept the good and the bad, but to bring into play our global family, who shares many similar beliefs as well. (continue reading &aquo;)
My male talks about how what his ancestors did have no bearing on how he is or what he believes. I smile and nod alot. He makes his own belief choice, but it's not without the influence of his ancestors. Don't believe me- ask him why it's important to have a Traditional Thanksgiving. *rolls eyes* Tradition and family beliefs count for a lot, even for those who say they don't let the past dictate who and what they believe in.
For me, it's not a matter that I'm wanting to believe what my ancestors did. It's learning what they believed in, discovering what is important for me to incorporate into my daily life, and further, to make sure that belief system is never forgotten. I joke around about the story called the Repository, but among my closest friends and among those who know how I am-- I am the Repository for belief systems. I've made a study of them for years and years. I've collected how many people worshipped, how the religion is being reconstructed in the places where knowledge is lacking and more. For me, our past is just as important as our future. Without one, you will never succeed in the other.
Being eclectic doesn't mean picking and choosing only the cool stuff, it means that sometimes the hard stuff- the stuff I'd rather avoid is also included in my beliefs and what I do. Why? Because it's not just the easy, fun things that make me who I am, but also the hard things. Most of my family left their homes in Germany, Poland, France, Holland to come to America. They left in a time when national pride was part and parcel of being their nationalities. Yet, they left seeking something better in a new nation that would give them the chance of freedom of beliefs. So, for me, it's taking the history, the beliefs of my ancestors and the beliefs of the peoples who were there long before and integrating what not just feels right, but what will benefit me and those whom I serve.
Take a look at your own family history. What is your ethnicity? How far back can you trace your family tree? If your family has been established there for a while, think on this- what was the area before it was forcibly Christianized? What family traditions do you enjoy that are based in those oldest of beliefs? What else among what you do honours those traditions and the path you lead now?
Being eclectic isn't a bad thing. It's a place where you can enjoy your past, your present and your future. It's a place that accepts that our world is smaller now than it's ever been, allowing us not only to accept the good and the bad, but to bring into play our global family, who shares many similar beliefs as well. (continue reading &aquo;)
Monday, November 24, 2008
Match Game- Ghost Style
A while back, I had a story in the Spirited anthology entitled Match Game, Ghost Style. Well, Loose Id, in its wonderfulness, decided to make it a classic, releasing it into it's own book with a brand new cover. I admit, the cover is PERFECT for what I envisioned for Shari.
Isn't it beautiful? I love this story, which is dedicated to my soul twin and one of my best friends ever. What I love most about this story and the cover is that it allowed me to get deeper into the fictional city I created in Florida. So imagine my surprise to find out there is a REAL city that shares the name with my imaginary one. I will say this- at least my city has interesting street names. LOL
I updated the website with the new cover and the link. I'm SOOO happy with this rerelease of sorts.
Let me know what you think!
Buying Info: http://loose-id.net/detail.aspx?ID=851
Blurb:
Dia de los Muertos, the Day of the Dead is here and for Ben Cameron, this holiday is painful without his best friend, Manuel “Manny” Cervantes. For Shari Livingston, this is a day to remember just how much Manny has done for all of their friends, but she never expects Manny to appear at the Dumb Supper she and the others have put together or to make to demand that she and Ben admit their true feelings for one another.
However, Manny the ghost isn’t about to let them get away with just sleeping together to make him happy. He knows more about them than they want to admit even to themselves.
Can this matchmaking ghost get Ben and Shari together or will he be forced to play the ultimate match game to show the love between them both? (continue reading &aquo;)
Isn't it beautiful? I love this story, which is dedicated to my soul twin and one of my best friends ever. What I love most about this story and the cover is that it allowed me to get deeper into the fictional city I created in Florida. So imagine my surprise to find out there is a REAL city that shares the name with my imaginary one. I will say this- at least my city has interesting street names. LOLI updated the website with the new cover and the link. I'm SOOO happy with this rerelease of sorts.
Let me know what you think!
Buying Info: http://loose-id.net/detail.aspx?ID=851
Blurb:
Dia de los Muertos, the Day of the Dead is here and for Ben Cameron, this holiday is painful without his best friend, Manuel “Manny” Cervantes. For Shari Livingston, this is a day to remember just how much Manny has done for all of their friends, but she never expects Manny to appear at the Dumb Supper she and the others have put together or to make to demand that she and Ben admit their true feelings for one another.
However, Manny the ghost isn’t about to let them get away with just sleeping together to make him happy. He knows more about them than they want to admit even to themselves.
Can this matchmaking ghost get Ben and Shari together or will he be forced to play the ultimate match game to show the love between them both? (continue reading &aquo;)
Sunday, November 23, 2008
Flash Fiction- Guess what Fairytale?
Ann Vremont posted links to a beautiful fairytale scene she created. Then she challenged people on the Changeling Press Yahoo group to come up with a flash fiction. So...I came up with one. Gods only knows what will happen next. LOL
These are the piccies- http://www.annvremont.com/images/fairylights_3_1024.jpg and a lighter version- http://www.annvremont.com/images/fairylights_2_1024.jpg
These are the piccies- http://www.annvremont.com/images/fairylights_3_1024.jpg and a lighter version- http://www.annvremont.com/images/fairylights_2_1024.jpg
Personal- Holiday Traditions
Fellow romance author, Raine Delight has a blog topic dealing with holiday traditions. It got me thinking on some of the holiday traditions of my family that I've kept and the ones I've created for my family through the years. It also reminded me of some traditions I want to keep alive for the younger generation in our family tree.
Friday, November 21, 2008
Flash Fiction-
Sometimes, I have no idea on what to write for Flash Fiction day. Today is one of those days. Why? Because I got out of working today and I came home bored. I want to read books and do NOTHING. LMAO But there are ideas floating in my mind, the question is- what will come out?
Thinking on it, I wanted to revisit a story I've not finished telling, but have hinted at. That of Kymaera. She's one of my favorite female characters and someone whom I'm very fond of. Enjoy.
Thinking on it, I wanted to revisit a story I've not finished telling, but have hinted at. That of Kymaera. She's one of my favorite female characters and someone whom I'm very fond of. Enjoy.
Thursday, November 20, 2008
Sex Ed with Mistress Cynnara- Mother Nature and Urges
Today's topic comes from a friend of mine. One I've got to admit, had me thinking and wondering how to go about this and not gross people out and how to get people past the Eew factor. So what's today's topic?
Dear Mistress Cynnara- I'm a woman who loves sex, but it's weird, either right before or during my period, it's the time when I'm the most horny. Why does this happen and how can I convince my male, I want sex and to have him give it to me? --- Raging Hormones in the Mountains
For all we talk about sex and sexuality, the female libido and the factors that influence it are not well researched or well understood. What makes it difficult is that for a long time, it was all about the male libido, the male sex drive. For those of you who were old enough to remember when it first came out about the female orgasm and the G-spot, remember the fervor? I'm not denigrating the need to understand males or their sex drive, but just a reminder that female sex needs to be understood as well as the other part of the equation. What limited studies have shown is that women do experience a need for more primal type sex before and during their periods.
Now, before people go left, right and rampant about having sex while a woman's having her period- let me state that I always insist on safe sex between partners, especially if they've not discussed sex and health issues. The idea of not having sex during a menstrual period comes about from many sources and ideas- one it's a time of power for a woman, it's not pleasant to be part of if you're a male, and the idea that it's unclean- per religious beliefs. However, there is no scientific data that says it's acceptable or not. In fact, it's decidedly mixed, just as women are a mixed bag themselves. What does that mean?
Some women are horny, some are not. Some women spook at the idea of having sex while bleeding. But one thing to note- the amount of blood is minimal- approximately 80 ml, or a little over 2 ounces. The rest is other fluids and membranes being flushed out of the system because of nonpregnancy. It's an individual decision on whether or not to engage in sexual activity during your menses. Personally, as long as you play safely, I see no reason for it. For me, I find it helps with cramps, the hormonal urges for sex, and most importantly, it allows me a chance to get a bit wild.
So, what does safe play include? First- no open cuts on either individual. If there are any, they must be properly protected. Condoms are absolutely essential as well. If you're determined to have sex on a bed or another area besides the bathroom, make sure you have coverings that absorb fluids. I usually recommend a tarp or rubber sheet covered by a couple of older towels that you don't use much anymore. For me, the only place to have sex during my period is the shower. Why? Because I can get clean right after, along with my lover. Of course, it helps if you have an oversized hot water heater, as you can be in there for a while, depending on whether or not it takes a while for you to orgasm.
So, how does one have intercourse while having one's period if the lover is willing? A variety of ways. Depending on how you both wish to start, I recommend the use of waterproof, easily cleaned toys. Why toys? Because most women, even though they're hornier than all get out at this point, they still need some physical stimulation to prepare them mentally and physically for penetration. Also, since oral sex for her is out at this point, the use of toys can replace the oral stimulation. Using clitoral stimulating toys upon her will get her excited and helps rev up the engines. Stimulating her nipples works with some women, but not all. Depends on how tender they get during their menses. If they like it, don't hold back. Fondle, caress, nibble, and play with those visible points of excitation.
If you're at this point and you, the woman feel the need for intercourse, now is the time to let the man know. Why? Because it's time to touch and play with the male, so he's aroused as well. Once that happens, let the male bring you to an orgasm via the toys at least once. Why? This helps flush out more from your body and further, it'll allow you to counteract those cramps you might experience during that time. Then, once he dons protection, you're not only lubricated, but ready for intercourse.
What if your lover isn't too thrilled with the idea of entering the sanguine zone? Then perhaps consider anal sex during this time. This way, you don't have to forgo the tampon and such, and with that slight fullness in you, you might discover the thrill of feeling full in both areas simultaneously. This way neither of you have to feel as if you're violating any kind of cleanness belief or worry about making a mess. One point to note- make sure you change your gear just prior to play. This way it'll afford you more time to play before leakage may occur.
Shower time is one of my favourite sex during my period times. Why? Because of the clean factor and because there's something very sexy about having sex in the shower anyway. The fact I can indulge it and not have to worry so much about making a mess is one less worry. Plus, for many men, this could be the deciding factor for them to try it. So, consider being plastered against the wall of the shower, having hot, erotic sex while during your period.
Until next week-- dream hot, live life to the fullest, and remember - sex is always fun!
Always,
Mistress Cynnara
(continue reading &aquo;)
Dear Mistress Cynnara- I'm a woman who loves sex, but it's weird, either right before or during my period, it's the time when I'm the most horny. Why does this happen and how can I convince my male, I want sex and to have him give it to me? --- Raging Hormones in the Mountains
For all we talk about sex and sexuality, the female libido and the factors that influence it are not well researched or well understood. What makes it difficult is that for a long time, it was all about the male libido, the male sex drive. For those of you who were old enough to remember when it first came out about the female orgasm and the G-spot, remember the fervor? I'm not denigrating the need to understand males or their sex drive, but just a reminder that female sex needs to be understood as well as the other part of the equation. What limited studies have shown is that women do experience a need for more primal type sex before and during their periods.
Now, before people go left, right and rampant about having sex while a woman's having her period- let me state that I always insist on safe sex between partners, especially if they've not discussed sex and health issues. The idea of not having sex during a menstrual period comes about from many sources and ideas- one it's a time of power for a woman, it's not pleasant to be part of if you're a male, and the idea that it's unclean- per religious beliefs. However, there is no scientific data that says it's acceptable or not. In fact, it's decidedly mixed, just as women are a mixed bag themselves. What does that mean?
Some women are horny, some are not. Some women spook at the idea of having sex while bleeding. But one thing to note- the amount of blood is minimal- approximately 80 ml, or a little over 2 ounces. The rest is other fluids and membranes being flushed out of the system because of nonpregnancy. It's an individual decision on whether or not to engage in sexual activity during your menses. Personally, as long as you play safely, I see no reason for it. For me, I find it helps with cramps, the hormonal urges for sex, and most importantly, it allows me a chance to get a bit wild.
So, what does safe play include? First- no open cuts on either individual. If there are any, they must be properly protected. Condoms are absolutely essential as well. If you're determined to have sex on a bed or another area besides the bathroom, make sure you have coverings that absorb fluids. I usually recommend a tarp or rubber sheet covered by a couple of older towels that you don't use much anymore. For me, the only place to have sex during my period is the shower. Why? Because I can get clean right after, along with my lover. Of course, it helps if you have an oversized hot water heater, as you can be in there for a while, depending on whether or not it takes a while for you to orgasm.
So, how does one have intercourse while having one's period if the lover is willing? A variety of ways. Depending on how you both wish to start, I recommend the use of waterproof, easily cleaned toys. Why toys? Because most women, even though they're hornier than all get out at this point, they still need some physical stimulation to prepare them mentally and physically for penetration. Also, since oral sex for her is out at this point, the use of toys can replace the oral stimulation. Using clitoral stimulating toys upon her will get her excited and helps rev up the engines. Stimulating her nipples works with some women, but not all. Depends on how tender they get during their menses. If they like it, don't hold back. Fondle, caress, nibble, and play with those visible points of excitation.
If you're at this point and you, the woman feel the need for intercourse, now is the time to let the man know. Why? Because it's time to touch and play with the male, so he's aroused as well. Once that happens, let the male bring you to an orgasm via the toys at least once. Why? This helps flush out more from your body and further, it'll allow you to counteract those cramps you might experience during that time. Then, once he dons protection, you're not only lubricated, but ready for intercourse.
What if your lover isn't too thrilled with the idea of entering the sanguine zone? Then perhaps consider anal sex during this time. This way, you don't have to forgo the tampon and such, and with that slight fullness in you, you might discover the thrill of feeling full in both areas simultaneously. This way neither of you have to feel as if you're violating any kind of cleanness belief or worry about making a mess. One point to note- make sure you change your gear just prior to play. This way it'll afford you more time to play before leakage may occur.
Shower time is one of my favourite sex during my period times. Why? Because of the clean factor and because there's something very sexy about having sex in the shower anyway. The fact I can indulge it and not have to worry so much about making a mess is one less worry. Plus, for many men, this could be the deciding factor for them to try it. So, consider being plastered against the wall of the shower, having hot, erotic sex while during your period.
Until next week-- dream hot, live life to the fullest, and remember - sex is always fun!
Always,
Mistress Cynnara
(continue reading &aquo;)
Pagan: Element- Spirit
Many people who believe in the four main elements of the Middle Ages- air, earth, water, fire, do not count spirit among them. For them, Spirit comes from man or a higher power, not part of the elemental focus. Yet, when you consider the balance of the elements, you can't deny the way Spirit unites them all. Spirit is truly a neutral element- neither male nor female, but both at the same time. To people who serve the spirit, the element often has female properties they see more often. Sometimes it's harder to discern the positive and negative of spirit, especially in how personal people see Spirit. But it can be done.
Sunday, November 16, 2008
Rant: Same Sex Marriage
Can anyone recite the Preamble to the US Constitution? "We the People of the United States, in Order to form a more perfect Union, establish Justice, insure domestic Tranquility, provide for the common defence, promote the general Welfare, and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of America."
We have fought for our freedoms, amended the Constitution to make sure civil liberties were not trampled upon. Yet, the issue of same-sex marriage is causing a huge fervor- radicals on both sides. But the bottom line is not one of morality or belief. As I quoted before- George Washington has stated the United States is NOT based upon the Christianity belief system, but on basic human rights.
Before everyone jumps on me, let me quote the Fourteenth Amendment, which people in various states and beliefs better remember and think hard on what it means in all instances. "No State shall make or enforce any law which shall abridge the privileges or immunities of citizens of the United States; nor shall any State deprive any person of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law; nor deny to any person within its jurisdiction the equal protection of the laws."
So, people, think on this. Are gays, lesbians US citizens or not? That's the bottom line. If they are US citizens, paying taxes, providing protection, then you can NOT deny them their rights of happiness or that of marriage- which is a CIVIL union, not a religious one. That means, by abridging the rights of marriage, insurance coverage and more to gays, the States and those who live within them are breaking the 14th Amendment. That's right, under the US Constitution, by voting on abridging the rights of other US citizens is ILLEGAL. That's right, no matter what's said or done, in the end, do you really think the Supreme Court won't refer to this matter in the long run and say, "You can't do that- it breaks all of the 14th Amendment."
Think people. Do you want your rights abused and broken because in one way or another-- you're a minority? Think on it, Think on it hard and remember- one day you WILL be the minority, then what? Do you want your past to come back and haunt you? (continue reading &aquo;)
We have fought for our freedoms, amended the Constitution to make sure civil liberties were not trampled upon. Yet, the issue of same-sex marriage is causing a huge fervor- radicals on both sides. But the bottom line is not one of morality or belief. As I quoted before- George Washington has stated the United States is NOT based upon the Christianity belief system, but on basic human rights.
Before everyone jumps on me, let me quote the Fourteenth Amendment, which people in various states and beliefs better remember and think hard on what it means in all instances. "No State shall make or enforce any law which shall abridge the privileges or immunities of citizens of the United States; nor shall any State deprive any person of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law; nor deny to any person within its jurisdiction the equal protection of the laws."
So, people, think on this. Are gays, lesbians US citizens or not? That's the bottom line. If they are US citizens, paying taxes, providing protection, then you can NOT deny them their rights of happiness or that of marriage- which is a CIVIL union, not a religious one. That means, by abridging the rights of marriage, insurance coverage and more to gays, the States and those who live within them are breaking the 14th Amendment. That's right, under the US Constitution, by voting on abridging the rights of other US citizens is ILLEGAL. That's right, no matter what's said or done, in the end, do you really think the Supreme Court won't refer to this matter in the long run and say, "You can't do that- it breaks all of the 14th Amendment."
Think people. Do you want your rights abused and broken because in one way or another-- you're a minority? Think on it, Think on it hard and remember- one day you WILL be the minority, then what? Do you want your past to come back and haunt you? (continue reading &aquo;)
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