I am not a pure romance writer. Let me state that upfront. What I write is women's action-adventure fiction with strong erotic romance elements. It's a mouthful, I admit, but it's the truest way of knowing what I write. But, most of my fiction writing is considered romance--unless you're one of my male readers who say I write mainstream with hot sex scenes they enjoy. Since I started writing with the goal of being published, my writing has evolved as has my perception of what I write.
Every fiction book you read is based on the concept of love. Don't shake your head at me, listen while I explain. Love is in every book because love takes many forms. It's about the lack of love--like murdering or scaring someone. Or about finding love. Or about family love, national love, or even friendly love. The base of every fiction story relates to love and the lack of it. Love isn't just romantic, but encompasses a great many things. So, the next time you pick up a fantasy or action novel--ask yourself--what is the love theme of the story. You might just be surprised on what you discover.
Now, romance is about romantic love. It's about not having it at first and finally achieving it at the end. Romance books deal not just with realistic love, but with ideals as well. It reminds us of those days when we were head-over-heels in love, giddy with excitement, fighting it while knowing in our hearts that we want that chance to be with someone who loves us just as much. Men and women look at romance differently. But--it's not really all the different except in how the tales are presented.
Men are more driven on actions, on doing, on showing. Women like to know, to feel, to explore. A damn good romance novel will appeal to both sexes if it mixes both male and female aspects of love. It might be something as the hero buying her a small gift she wanted but hadn't asked for. He might not tell her that he bought it to make her happy--but he's showing love. For her, she might make him a meal, or even massage him, telling him how much he means to her. How he makes her feel. That's her showing love. When you can show both, including the misunderstandings, the not seeing what they mean--you deepen the process of falling in love.
I know some writers who write romance and have no sex scenes in their stories, but the makeout sessions are damn hot. There are other authors who have explicit sex scenes, exploring various facets of sexuality. *raises hand high* The physical expression of love is a huge thing for guys. For them it's the most visible way of showing they care. Yes, sex for sex sake is common, but when a guy cares--it shifts in how it presents itself. For women, it's the mental and emotional stimulation that helps bring the physical expression to that higher level.
Now, I explore sexuality a lot in my books--including menage, polyamory, couples of same sex and hetero couples. For me, sexuality isn't confined to one isolated view, but to multiple views that allow the full depth of love to be expressed physically and emotionally. Some people aren't comfortable with dealing on those areas, but within the idea of a romance--they're willing to explore those areas that they aren't willing to try personally for whatever reason. Which is why I enjoy writing those romances that stretch the boundaries, introduce concepts of polyamory, menage, and various other lifestyles like BDSM, etc. Sometimes by reading those books, the reader not only learns more about what it could be like if they tried, but they open up to others who are active participants in those lifestyles. It's that love of humanity thing making its way around.
For me, the challenge in writing erotic romantic adventure fiction is to make it believable even if it's paranormal or fantasy in nature. To make you put aside what you know and to enjoy the moment of the story--knowing that at the end--there will be satisfying resolutions and in some cases--the traditional happily ever after. Now, one thing to realize in my stories is that there is only one of my written, but unpublished stories that have a wedding occurring. My stories end with where they're in love, willing to work on the relationship and commit to each other on some level.
For women, it's this storyline--the meeting and the falling in love that really gets to women. It's a reminder that no matter how the relationship is now in their lives--that they can recall how they fell in love while renewing that passion by reading romance. Men for the most part get a bad rap about forgetting anniversaries, birthdays, etc. But for them, it's not the falling in love part that gets to them. It's the day in, day out of being with the woman they've chosen and that she's still there that reminds them of the power of love.
If men really want to know how many women view romance and being romanced--pick up a romance novel. If you've got a woman who's not quite the sweet, quiet type--you might want to pick up an erotic romance that pushes boundaries. See how the process of falling in love is presented and why women enjoy it so much. Every thing you do and more importantly, everything you say affects this process. When you're aware that if you just caress her cheek, smile at her and tell her she's fantastic and that she'll kiss you or blush--know that you're seducing her and she's responding to your cues.
Women--men like actions. Show them you love them. Hell, seduce them. Need help-- pick up those romance novels, find your favourites seduction scenes and put one together for him. Men like to be acknowledged for all they do to provide things, even if they don't share their minds and souls on how they feel. By showing them how to add the words to the actions, they'll start responding in kind. Remember that it's a two-way street: if you want to be romanced then you have to romance them in the way they need.
When I write romance or even an emotional scene, I look at it from both point of views--hero and heroine. I see who has the most impact and I write from that viewpoint. Sometimes we need to see the hero taking that step into expressing how he feels, even if he can't yet tell the heroine. Other times, it's the heroine's POV and showing how she goes out of her way to seduce the hero or even to show when she realizes she's fallen for him. For me, presenting both POV at various times allows the readers to bond with both characters and gives insight into how relationships work for both romantic and for friendship.
I write mainstream action-adventure fiction with strong erotic romantic elements. To me, nothing is more important than showing how relationships form and dissolve as life progresses, including during crises. Sometimes people find their soulmates, sometimes they find their heartmates. Othertimes it's a true friend that makes life better. What matters is how they learn, grow, and experience love in all its possibilities in the story--all while making sure that the story keeps the reader hooked. One good trilogy that to me epitomizes how romance and more blooms under crises is the Dragonlance Chronicles by Margaret Weis and Tracy Hickman. For those of you who are going, "what romance? What love?" you need to reread those books. You took in the relationships and encouraged them or worried on them without ever realizing that there was romance in the stories. My stories are more obvious, but most men seem to like them even with the happily-ever after endings.
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