Things have been brewing and sometimes what I feel and know to be happening has to come out and allow me to see it more clearly. So, I decided to write this snippet because I must make a choice soon….and it’s not going to be easy. It hurts to know that someone I love has broken a promise– and the consequences hurt like hell. Take a read and see what you think of this little story idea.
She looked up at her soul siblings and shuddered. For too long she had hidden in the dark, doing the things that put her further away from balance and away from the loving embrace of those who accepted her as she was. But now, now she had been caught and nothing she could say or do could change what was about to happen.
“I’ve done nothing wrong…” Katarina whimpered, trying to hide her face behind the veil she’d been wearing.
The oldest sibling stepped forward and caressed Katarina’s cheek. “You’ve done nothing right either. You chose a path that fed into the darkness and took you from your own true path. You’ve used your powers to gain power and to gain what you thought you needed and wanted, but without regards to costs nor to the fact you denied the lessons put before you.”
The red-headed sibling stepped forward, ripping the veil from Kat’s face. “You are unworthy to be among us. But you also have served Balance and we must give you this one last chance.” Tanera shook her head. “Personally, I think you’ll find a way to deny your fears and you’ll refuse to admit the truth because you’re not strong enough nor do you want to be whole enough to do so.”
“You know NOTHING about how I am.” Katarina stepped forward, only to have the oldest sister, a blonde haired woman to take hold of her hand and pull her into an embrace.
“But I do. I know who you are, what you are, and what you’ve become.” Sylene sighed and kissed the top of her head and Kat felt the tears slide wet into her hair. Sylene always tried to do what was right, no matter the cost. “You think it’s all about you and that you deserve things. You’ve forgotten the important part– you’re not alone and your actions affect everyone else in your world. We don’t want you to go without– but you are trying to make sure the rest of us do– because you won’t face your demons, nor your own mistakes.”
Katarina wrapped her arms around Sylene. “It’s not true. I’ve made my peace. I’m trying to learn my lessons.”
The third sister, with blonde hair with black streaks pulled on Katarina’s ponytail. “You have not and still you persist on lying. You’ve rejected your heritage, practicing only what helps you, and you LIE when confronted with evidence. You ignore your soulmate, but won’t free him either because he’s YOURS. Yet you do stupid shite and expect to be forgiven always because of who you are and whom you belong to. You face expulsion, Katarina. Do you not yet understand this?”
“Our beliefs are based on the old, not what’s come out since then. Why shouldn’t I have what I want when I want it? Is it so wrong to put myself first?” Katarina looked at her baby sister, Nerys. “You don’t give a shit about anything and think it’s okay, but why the fuck should I NOT have all I want if I don’t hurt anyone?”
Sylene sighed softly as she tilted Katarina’s chin towards her. “You don’t get it. You have hurt people and you seem to think it’s okay to do so. You’ve harmed one of MY heartmates, your soulmate because you choose to act in a selfish manner. You can’t keep balance when you have a heartmate in your life. You go chasing all these things because you won’t face your fears nor will you face the one thing you need to– that you have become what you hate most in the heartmate banished from our group.”
“No! No!No!” Katarina screamed, pulling away from Sylene’s arms. “You lie, you wish to make yourself to be judge and jury. You think to make me conform when you said I should be myself.”
Sylene nodded at her other sisters and they surrounded Katarina, encasing her in a magick circle. “You take advantage, you manipulate, you harm because you want and you need. You are selfish and you are scared. You break balance and you misuse the powers given to you because you think you can do better alone than by living by what’s been proven time and again.” Sylene slid an athame from her belt and used it to cut open a small slit on her thumb. As the blood from the wound dropped to the ground, it sizzled and even Katarina felt the power so much greater than hers surround her. “You are loved, you are wanted, but you refuse to see that you fear not being good enough. You fear not mattering. You fear that if others get you will receive NOTHING. But in doing what you’ve done, you’ve become the nothing. You ache to find fulfillment and make blood oaths and promises and demand things you have no right to demand because you have fucked up, sismine.”
“Bound by blood, bound by love, bound by the elements– you are judged,” Tanera intoned, throwing salt into the circle. “Purify thy heart, thy mind, thy soul. Face the fact that you are no longer in balance but have stepped into that which we cast out Tal. You are a leech, and you’ve lost your purpose. Give up the imbalance and let us heal you.”
Nerys threw water at Katarina, splashing it upon her naked body. “Cleanse and purify. Face the demons that you fear and allow us to show you that we love you.”
A deeper voice came out from the darkness and a male stepped to the edge of the circle, taking Sylene’s hand. “Let us show you the way back to the woman I have loved for so long. Come back to me, Katarina.”
“You touch my sister, but you are MINE!” Katarina spat as she tried to break out of the circle. “You are no longer HERS.”
“Yet you treat me as lesser than your heartmates..I who am your soulmate. I who have done all I could to make you feel safe and loved.” Seth spoke clearly. “Sylene loves me as heartmate. She knows who I truly love and adore. But she and I are close. She gives me understanding and a kick when I go wrong. Yet you reject me for someone you can manipulate into giving you what you think will make you happy. Now look what that’s done.”
Katarina pushed upon the magickal barrier, but nothing would let her out. She knew they spoke truth, but there was no way back…hadn’t the expulsion of Tal taught her that? “There is nothing you can do to me except strip me of my powers and break the bond between you and I,” she whispered.
Sylene saw the realization and the fear as it slid across Katarina’s face. Good, perhaps now we can get her past the darkness of self and into the light of self healing. “No, there is more we can do. More that I can do. You forget who and what I am, sismine.”
Katarina swallowed. “You are the servant of the gods, the keeper of balance, the true daughter of the Elements. This I know and understand.”
Sylene stepped forward, releasing Seth’s hand. She felt his hand stroke her back, reassuring her that she was doing the right thing. “Yes, dear one, I am that…but I am more.” Allowing her shields to drop fully, Sylene let Katarina see the power that was hers. “Do you not truly understand what it means to be the daughter of power and the one who cries for the inhumanity that occurs when there is no balance?”
Kat stepped back, only to be stopped by the magickal barrier. Sylene stepped forward. “I declare you Rogue. I declare you Unfit. I declare you Uncleansed before Gods, Mortal and Elements alike. I declare you one chance left to save all you hold dear…and then I destroy it all…..and make you watch it while you acknowledge as my slave…that you did wrong.”
“No! You can’t, you musn’t! Don’t kill my heartmates…don’t destroy Seth. He hasn’t done anything. It’s ME!” Katarina grabbed Sylene by both arms and tried shaking her. “Don’t you dare make me kill you, sismine! I won’t let you take away what I have!”
Sylene laughed, the power growing inside of her as she spun her magick around her beloved sister. “You can’t kill me, sismine. The power was never yours to do so. Only Nerys and Tanera have that ability. And yes, I can kill those you love and have manipulated. Because they’ve been tainted by your evil. If you truly want to save them— then save yourself. Your choice and you make it here and now….or watch me take away all you truly deserve.”
Sylene looked over her shoulder and mouthed to Seth, “I hate this. Please…”
Seth smiled at her. “It’s okay..you do what is needed. I want her better. No matter the cost to myself.”
Sylene turned back to Katarina. “See, he would sacrifice it all to have you healed. Yet you offer nothing of yourself to save the ones you claim to love and be bonded to. How selfish you’ve become, sismine.”